Both excited and nervous

[Maple1714]

1. 7:30pm-8pm you leave the house for dinner

2. Depending on how well acquainted you are - first date meet somewhere...could even be a little park or somewhere and walk to the restaurant. This way you can talk a little by yourselves before you are in a potentially crowded place. Next date pick her up at her house.

3. A goodnight hug...I have never been in to the first date kiss. Weird to me. BUT if you are a little drunk and have been partying its ok. You have to make a judgement call on this one.

[IndiReloaded]

My 0.02 if I was dating (I'm not)

1. Dinner at ~7pm. Late enough to miss the family crowd (depending where you are going) but early enough to be flexible.

2. Meet someplace for 1st couple dates at least, I'd say.

3. No first date kiss. Its been ages and I still remember those awkward moments. Like a truck rushing towards you and you have to decide whether to turn at the last minute. The most memorable was the one who *didn't* immediately try to kiss me (he understood cues). He kissed my hand instead.

[Indestructible]

Damn, couldn't work out my car issues this week, so looks like I can't ask her out when I see her Saturday. Er, I mean, I could, but I can't guarantee my car issues will be worked out next week, so I'd hate to ask her then have to cancel if/ when I can't go. Hm...

I wish I had someone I could talk to about this. No offense to anyone here, or anything like that, I just wish I had someone to confide it and talk to. Feeling really bummed right now, and concerned as to when I might have another good chance to ask her out. Maybe this is a "sign" that I shouldn't ask her out at all (or that it wouldn't work out if I did)... I dunno. I had it all planned out, and I was feeling so optimistic, then one stupid little thing happens and it all goes out the window. I know it probably seems a bit silly for me to get so worked up over this, but I just... it's tough to "contain" myself. I just wish I could tell SOMEONE how I feel about her, talk to someone.

[TheCafeTerrace]

Are there no ****ing buses in America?! Americans never seem to be able to get anywhere without driving - no wonder hardly any of you drink loads or take drugs. I've never driven in my life and find it easy enough to see girls if I want to.

[VincenzoG91]

If she is really interested in you, the car trouble is not relevant. She can pick you up, or you can get a ride from a friend or take a cab or something. It would be nice if you could offer to pick her up, but it's perfectly reasonable to arrive separately for the first couple of dates.

I agree with Indie about 7 PM, because if the date starts well, maybe you can go somewhere else after dinner, like catch a movie, go dancing (best idea), or maybe back to your place or hers (bow-chicka-wow-wow). Don't feel that the first-date kiss is mandatory. It's an intuitive thing, but you will be able to tell when she wants to be kissed. A woman gets this kind of receptive and expectant look on her face.

Above all else, don't delay asking her out. The longer you wait, the greater the chance that you end up in the friendzone and/or some other dude swoops in and hooks up with her first.

[Boisdevie]

Car troubles = horseshit. Sounds like you're trying to sabotage this before you get going.

[Indestructible]

Eh... I think it's time I come clean about something, a highly embarrassing secret that I've been attempting to cover up. But, being this is the Internet and there's a lot of anonymity here (as opposed to in real life, where I'd never tell anyone I know about this), I suppose it's better to just spill it and clear up all my "excuses".

As it pertains to my "car issues", the truth is, since I was a teenager, I've had a crippling fear/ anxiety about driving that I've succumbed to for way too long. Meaning, I never got my driver's license (and currently do not have one). I have, however, been working through this "fear" the last few months, and it's more or less gone. My goal was to take my driving test yesterday, and get my license. I did fine, but I failed one small part, and I have to wait until next week to retry that part.

If I were more confident in myself, I'd say "I'll definitely pass it next week, so I'll ask her out Saturday, and it'll be fine". But right about now, my confidence is pretty shaken. I had practiced the part I screwed up dozens and dozens of times, and I did it perfectly every time, until I actually took the driving test. I could practice dozens more times between now and next week, and I'd still be concerned I'll make the same stupid little mistake (and then have to wait another week to try again). And, if I screw this part up a total of four times, I have to wait six months before taking the test again. In six months, my window with this girl will definitely be closed.

I apologize for feeling the need to cover this up. I didn't mean to deceive anyone, it was just really embarrassing, to me. But that's the whole truth. For a while, I was trying to resist the urge of developing feelings for her at all, because I was still wrestling with my fear of driving, and didn't want to fall for a girl without having the means to actually go out with her.

[TheCafeTerrace]

I don't drive either - I've failed four driving tests and still have no license, and probably won't in the foreseeable future (I really am shite at it.) It's nothing to be ashamed of. Is it really that difficult to just use the bus?

[Indestructible]

I dunno, "public transportation" kinda worries me. I don't live in a very safe place, so I'd be super worried about getting mugged, and/ or other crazy, scary stuff. Not to mention, nobody I've encountered in my years has used that as their primary mode of transportation, and I wouldn't want to rely on it as such, either.

[TheCafeTerrace]

If you don't drive or use the bus how do you normally get anywhere? Can't you just ask her out on a date to a restaurant within walking distance of your house?

[Indestructible]

I get rides from family. Not really any restaurants or anything nice in walking distance from my house, not to mention, I don't know where, exactly, she lives, so it'd have to be something that works for her, too.

[Maple1714]

Crazy...well just meet her somewhere for the first date. That is what I suggested anyway...you don't need to pick her up. You should probably get over your fear of driving and/or your fear of the bus. No one will mug you on the bus (hopefully) and plenty of people use it around town if they don't drive. Why are you scared of driving? Did you get into a bad accident as a child? Seems like you are scared of a lot of things...including asking this girl out.

[Indestructible]

Well, yeah, that's the thing, I've been working to overcome my fear of driving (truth be told, I don't know why I developed it to begin with). Like I said, I took my driving test a couple days ago, and I was praying I'd pass, so I could ask her out when I see her tomorrow. But I failed one teeny little thing at the end of the test, and have to wait until next week to retry that part. I still sort of want to ask her out when I see her tomorrow, because I won't see her again for a week (or longer), since I don't have any shifts with her for the next week, maybe more. But what if she wants to go out with me, and I once again can't pass my stupid driving test? I'd hate to have to cancel on her because of that...

Honestly, I hope to tell her the truth about my driving situation at some point, but I'd rather wait until it's behind me, so it can just be a funny story we laugh about later. I really don't like lying and/ or hiding stuff, especially to someone I care about. But I kind of wonder, if worst comes to worst, and she does want to go out with me but I can't due to not having a license, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to confide in her about it, so at least she understands the situation. I trust her enough that I don't think she'd go around telling everyone and making fun of me, I just wonder if she, herself, might think poorly of me for my issues. I dunno.

[Maple1714]

How old are you? I dated someone who didn't have a DL or car or bank account...and I was crazy about him. I didn't care that he didn't have a car. My 2 best friends don't have cars. Don't worry about it....but I hope you pass your test next week!

[Indestructible]

23 (24 by the end of the year). I'd... hope she might be willing to overlook my driving issues, but you never really know, I guess.

Anyway, yeah, I hope I pass, too, heh, but I'm not feeling very confident. I practiced the part I failed so many times, that I was doing it perfectly over and over, in my practice sessions. I went into the test confident, telling myself I could do it, even kinda using the possibility of going out with this girl as an extra motivational tool, and... I still screwed up. I could keep practicing again and again over the next week, and I could still make the same stupid mistake. It's incredibly frustrating to be able to do something, but when it actually matters, I can't do it. I'm not so sure I believe I can pass it. :/