looking for advice - not attracted to my girlfriend anymore

[bluesummer]

I felt sick about this post for a minute, there's too many similarities between my fiance and I.

[Indignant]

I felt sick about this post for a minute, there's too many similarities between my fiance and I.

blue, i am sure we can all get over it. relationships become stale after a while. go out, get new hobbies together, make new friends. there are so many exciting opportunities to revive an old relationship. but never lose a good friend. when you are old and have no interest in sex, all you need is a friend. how old are you?

[Dasein]

blue, i am sure we can all get over it. relationships become stale after a while. go out, get new hobbies together, make new friends. there are so many exciting opportunities to revive an old relationship. but never lose a good friend. when you are old and have no interest in sex, all you need is a friend. how old are you?

Yeah but if it is stale after 11 months then I don't think you will be making it to your 10 year anniversary.

[Mish]

I felt sick about this post for a minute, there's too many similarities between my fiance and I.

What???

He's not physically attracted to you Blue? (Or you are to him)

[Indignant]

Yeah but if it is stale after 11 months then I don't think you will be making it to your 10 year anniversary.

you must be really young Dase, that's how most marriages and relationships survive.

[lesa]

you must be really young Dase, that's how most marriages and relationships survive.

Can you elaborate please? And may I ask how old are you?

[Indignant]

Can you elaborate please? And may I ask how old are you?

i am 30, and most of my girlfriends do find that their relationships have lost the passion after a certain amount of time. it's all specific of course and depends on a couple. there's still love and respect and caring, and they do put the extra effort to spice up their lives by traveling, camping, going to nightclubs. trying new things in general.

[Dasein]

you must be really young Dase, that's how most marriages and relationships survive.

I'm 34 years old Indignant..and you are???? I'm sorry if you feel that you will settle for someone you aren't initially attracted to but I sure as sh*t want to be attracted my partner and I AM.

[Indignant]

I'm 34 years old Indignant..and you are???? I'm sorry if you feel that you will settle for someone you aren't initially attracted to but I sure as sh*t want to be attracted my partner and I AM.

once again, you are a female. men look differently at those things. who knows if your partner feels the same about you.

[lesa]

I'm 34 years old Indignant..and you are???? I'm sorry if you feel that you will settle for someone you aren't initially attracted to but I sure as sh*t want to be attracted my partner and I AM.

Ditto.

I don't know how these people who lost the attraction do it. It would become a friendship or something to me. I don't lose the passion. It's there in some way.

Ha, even my crazy ex is still attractive to me.

once again, you are a female. men look differently at those things. who knows if your partner feels the same about you.

My partner is mad crazy about me. I just know. He tells me and he shows it.

Are you telling me that you don't know?

What kind of relationship are these people in??

[Indignant]

how long have you been together?

[Dasein]

once again, you are a female. men look differently at those things. who knows if your partner feels the same about you.

So first you try to attack me saying I'm young when really I am older than you...then you try to say my partner doesn't find me attractive...yeah way to go.

I'm with Lesa..my partner is head over heels in love with me. I think he is hot and he tells me constantly that he finds me sexy, attractive, hot etc

Sure relationships change over time but that is usually YEARS into a relationship or marriage. Not in the first 11 months of a relationship (which is what we are discussing in this thread). That is considered the honeymoon period when most couples find one another irresistible.

But then again..you're 30 years old so you would know all about that now wouldn't you?

[bluesummer]

What???

He's not physically attracted to you Blue? (Or you are to him)

Not that I know of. It was just the whole thing about both of them being 28, and her being formerly married and a bit insecure due to her ex's past behaviours......sounds a lot like our situation. For all intents and purposes, I fully believe my fiance is attracted to me. I was just thinking, wow wouldn't this be a bitch of a way to find out that he wasn't. Lol.


To the original poster......why is it you aren't attracted to her? Is she a generally unattractive person? Not your usual type? How serious is your relationship at this point?

[Dasein]

^^ Blue I don't think you need to worry. I have seen your pics. He will be attracted to you.

[heyimdro]

IMO, if you're already off her and it's not even a year, there's trouble on the horizon. It sounds like you're in like with her. That's not enough to carry a relationship, even if you didn't have the problems regarding her ex.

Some people are pretty blah about sex to begin with and they don't really need a strong physical attraction to keep them together, but if you were one of those, you'd be posting about the other stuff first. You are clearly someone who holds physical attraction to be important. I do too. It's crucial to me. If I wasn't mad hot for my husband, we would never have made it this far.

So, what is it that IS keeping you together? Is that enough to last for the long haul? If not, why are you prolonging the inevitable?

not so thinly veiled brag...

i personally think it's a communication issue, and i think someone can actually become more phsyically attractive (or at least turn you on more) as your communication becomes more clear and you connect on a deeper level. I think you need to tell her how much it bothers you when she compares you to her ex-husband, but also understand, it's hard for her not to, and try to be forgiving of that.