Not attracted to fiancé anymore

[CherryBlossom]

I've been with my fiancé for four years now and I love him so much. He's caring, considerate and probably the right guy to marry. But I don't find him sexually attractive. In fact, I usually find myself fantasizing about other men. The idea of breaking up just kills me but I'm not sure if I want to marry a guy who doesn't turn me on. Help!

[annoyed23]

thats no good...has it always been this way? or is this a recent thing?

[CherryBlossom]

I never found him attractive but his personality drew me to him. This situation started to bother me recently- since there are very hot guys around me. I don't want to cheat on him. But god, I want some fun. Am I evil?

[annoyed23]

I am a female...so coming from my perspective, no you are not evil...but how have you made it through 4 years and its now just bothering you? i dont get it...

[CherryBlossom]

It always bothered me but bothers me more now. I've met very hot guys recently who seemed to be interested in me. I would totally jump on them if I'd be single.

[annoyed23]

maybe thats a sign that you arent ready to get married, or that you arent really ready to settle down.

[Gribble]

Whoever you marry that attraction is going to fizzle. Keep that in mind.

On the other hand, marriage is a "permanent" contract (hah!) so you want to make sure you pick the right guy. If this one isn't the one save yourself--and him--quite a lot of trouble and pull out.

And whatever you do, don't cheat on the poor guy. Break up with him if you want to sleep with a hot guy. But don't screw behind his back. Nice guys with great personalities are an endangered species and that's the surest way to turn him jaded and misogynistic. At least let him make some other girl happy if he's not right for you.

[misombra]

there are a lot of hot guys out there, but that doesn't mean living with them is easy.

[lesa]

Am I evil?

Yes you are evil because a caring person would not say, "I don't want to cheat on him".

What does that mean? Would you rather cheat and hurt him that way and then marry and live happily ever after than simply hurt him by breaking up?

I don't understand it when people say they don't want to cheat. Is someone forcing you? What does this statement say about your character?

It doesn't matter if he is a good person and that you like him personality. If you don't desire him then you don't need to be with him. Go with these hot men who have the character that you are looking for in your romance life.

[CherryBlossom]

Thanks Gribble and misombra. Your posts made me feel better about my relationship.

[Junket]

Why girls do this shit, I don't understand.

If you're not attracted to the guy, you might as well be brother and sister.

I think you should bail out before you really regret this.

[misombra]

Why girls do this shit, I don't understand.

If you're not attracted to the guy, you might as well be brother and sister.

I think you should bail out before you really regret this.

couldn't it be just a temporary thing? you've said that at times you're not attracted to your girlfriend and you want to bone other hot girls. could this not be the problem?

[Junket]

couldn't it be just a temporary thing? you've said that at times you're not attracted to your girlfriend and you want to bone other hot girls. could this not be the problem?

I never found him attractive but his personality drew me to him.

Never? In what, 4 years??

That's a strong word.

And no, it's not that I stopped finding my own girlfriend attractive, as I still like to stare at her in an attempt to take in her prettiness. I just felt the intense desire to put my penis in a bunch of other women, and since she's not the type to swing, my only option would be to break up with her to fulfill that desire.

It was more a moment of taking-for-granted-ness.

Her situation is very different.

[misombra]

oh i never saw the word never up there.

thanks for clearing that up.

never? never ever?

[Lite]

Is it possible you're just bored in bed and need to spice things up to keep it interesting?