What are your opinions on boundaries for touching other people outside relationship?

[Millie]

I'm really sorry, when I first started reading your post I wanted to say something positive, such as, I wouldn't have a huge issue with him cuddling her if it were a case of her being upset about something (nothing wrong with giving your best friend a cuddle when they're upset, regardless of gender, though obviously that shouldn't be happening in bed) but then as I read on... just no lol. Would he be cool if you said you 'cuddled' a guy friend in bed once a week as a matter of course? What the hell are they doing in bed together anyway?! Would he be fine with it if that guy friend came over to you and started touching your hair in that way? Bad enough that she has no respect for you at all but the fact that he let it happen is even worse. I doubt he would like it one bit if roles were reversed and if he says he'd be cool with it he's either looking to justify his own behaviour or he simply just doesn't care the way you thought he did. Either way your friends and family are correct, it is inappropriate contact, sorry but the only reason he doesn't agree with you is because he doesn't want to have to stop doing what he's doing.

[michelle23]

^^ he literally wouldnt care if OP did find a male best friend to cuddle in bed with once a week. He is not bothered with what OP does coz he doesnt want her at all. He is using her as a distraction coz he cannot have his bff...

OP have you dumped him? Give us an update

[Millie]

^^ he literally wouldnt care if OP did find a male best friend to cuddle in bed with once a week. He is not bothered with what OP does coz he doesnt want her at all. He is using her as a distraction coz he cannot have his bff...

Yes, sadly I think you're right Michelle

[WaterSprite]

Thank you. I really appreciate all the comments, and knowing that my feelings aren't stupid. I'm not a push over, I'm actually really stubborn, and I love myself, and I know what I want and need... but I have enough insecurities that if someone knows how to play on them, I start not knowing what's right and what's wrong. Thank you

[WaterSprite]

And yes I have decided to dump him.

[VincenzoG91]

My boundary for touching people outside a relationship is the handshake. If you're not my girlfriend, all you get is a handshake when we greet each other. A brief hug is okay if we're relatives or I haven't seen you in like a decade.

[LifeInflux]

My boundary for touching people outside a relationship is the handshake. If you're not my girlfriend, all you get is a handshake when we greet each other. A brief hug is okay if we're relatives or I haven't seen you in like a decade.

Agree mostly.. I don't mind a hug, and sometimes I'll do the kiss on the cheek to close friends who expect that type of thing...

Pretty much anything you'd expect as a greeting from an old italian gentleman is the extent of which I would touch the opposite sex.

[namemyname]

Good girl, Sprite!

It's so nice to see a poster come here for advice, get the same comments from everyone, and actually act on said advice.

[UnderTheMoon]

And yes I have decided to dump him.

That is the worse thing you could have done... Said no one EVER! You go! Recover from this and go find yourself one HELLUV A guy!

[smackie9]

I think they got the point lol!

[Starnique]

Of course this isnt okay. Who would go for that? Thats why any man of mine don't have female friends. Then bitches can't be trusted.

[michelle23]

well done OP. I am glad you are dumping this ass. You can do soo much better! You need to stay strong now. If he begs and pleads and promises to stop cuddling her blah blah blah-you tell him its too late! He lied to you for a year! you want and need a man you can trust so he can go to hell. His apologies are worth nothing now.

And dont be all nicey nice saying "oh I think we should break up but Id like to be friends" etc NO! you just tell him ITS OVER SO GOODBYE!