I met my husband online. I did have to date a handful of losers to find him, but it was worth it. Also, by the time I met him I had switched gears on my methods. I changed my online profile to be very blunt and straightforward......I think before I had described myself in a way that wasn't 'real' in hopes of catching something better, but all it got me was the exact wrong type of man. I got real, and met the right person.
I think most of the time people tend to leave a big chunk of their own personality out, or embellish, or not say enough.....then they wonder why they can't meet anyone decent online. The other thing is, people tend to go by pictures, which is stupid. Some people look better in person, and some look better online (they had a long time to pick out their best pic!). I used a mediochre picture of myself so I wasn't painting an inaccurate portrait. I also insisted that if we had talked once and gotten along well, we should meet right away instead of hiding behind computer screens. You get your real feel for the person when you can look them in the eye.
Online dating can be really great if you do it right. Don't give up! And like some others said......stay off POF, that's where you meet all the crazies.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi
I met all my boyfriends and my husband online. Mostly off okcupid.
I have made some great mates out of those sites - but been on some shocker dates too - it's a bit of a mixed batch.
I did meet someone online that I was seeing for a year and a half though (actually, that was my first time online - he was the one guy I was attracted to most out of all the profiles, we had similar interests etc - when we met in real life, it was even better than I expected too - he was very much like his profile stated & looked even better in person too! I was actually surprised he even responded to my message, but seems it was our love of art/creativity that drew us to each other) - we're not together anymore, but we've remained friends - he's always been there to help me with advice & vice versa.
For now though, sticking to real life as since then, haven't really had a great deal of luck on there - only on the friends side - "dating" hasn't gone well since though.
I'm surprised by how many people hate POF that's where I met my ex. And like I said we dated for a year and a half and it wasn't the worst relationship in the world. OK Cupid is alright I've been on a few dates from there... but I noticed people do leave out some key stuff and it just makes it harder.
For example... met one guy... alright dude... cheap as heck and it drove me insane. I don't live lavishly but if it's summer out I'm willing to turn on the AC in the house and the car... especially when I have guests. He did not. That' s a deal breaker (it's the underlying genoristy) but how can you know that before hand... you can't.
I think Online Dating is like any other dating I guess just pervious to more lies I'm noticing. But at the same time it seems like it has the potential to work. I just don't remember it being this hard last time. Maybe I'm more picky this time around because I'm in not mood for jilting
Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
What you have described is EXACTLY my experience with site like these. Even worse, after giving up on those sites and ignorantly not removing my account, years later a girlfriend "accidentally" found one of my old profiles and, thinking I was up to something, created her own, met someone and subsequently left me! Oh such beautiful irony.
Not 1 man I ever met from a dating site looked in person like he did in his pic...I have since given up on dating sites
Ok...maybe I shouldn't have said 'grossly unattractive'...but unattractive to me. I have been accused before of having high standards, so maybe I am fussy. I know pictures don't tell the whole story, but I'm not going to spend hours reading everybody's profile to figure out who is worth pursuing. If the picture is alright, then I will investigate further to make sure she is not a knob. If I were more serious about it..like if it were say, my last resort to find somebody to go out with, then I'd spend the time to learn about all these people. However, I'm perfectly alright being single, and if I meet somebody at the gym, at my yoga class, at work, walking down the street, to me, that is more fulfilling than meeting someone online. If I meet someone online though, that's obviously ok too. At the same time, I'm not going to approach somebody at the gym, at yoga class, at work, walking down the street if I didn't find them at least somewhat attractive. And yes, I live in a very rural area, surrounded by many, many small towns. It's not like I have 3,000 'matches' within a 50 mile radius to peruse on a daily basis.
Evo we're in the same state. It's funny you mention the not attracted factor because I do feel that way about a lot of the guys I've been seeing on line. I'm just not that attracted to them. Maybe Wisconsin is just a state full of unattractive people.
Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
Maybe it is. Mmmmaybe it is! I dunno. There are attractive people, I just suppose the online dating technology just has not reached these parts yet. Or maybe all the attractive people just get sick of all the unattractive people courting them with their pickup trucks, their farmer tans, and beer bellies so they all go underground.
I've had a couple of decent hookups off of PoF, and the girl I'm dating now I also met there. She was the first one that was worth a second date, and didn't give it up on the first mind you. I'd call it a success after about 500 messages, a couple of dozen failed dates, and all the rest of the online issues that come up.
I'm currently working through some of my own relationship issues, but it has nothing to do with the online dating. So I think if you stick it out you'll eventually find success, it just depends on how much failure you're willing to endure to get there.
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley
My ex and I met through online dating. He had a bag of unresolved issues and was just looking for someone coz he didn't want to be alone. We broke up 6 weeks ago and one week after the breakup he was back on there looking for someone else. I won't say I won't try online dating again but I am going to spend a big chunk of time away from it and try and meet someone in the more traditional sense. It can work though, my brother has been happily married for 2 1/2 years now to someone he met through online dating.
Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!
Online dating seems to be a bit hit or miss really. I made my previous comment about POF for the express reason that I've recently been jilted. Had things went well I would be singing a different tune. (He clearly had issues and luckily I dodged a bullet) Like any form of meeting people you get what out you put into it. All dating sites have their players and losers and POF is no exception.
I think no matter how you meet people there will always be some with baggage.
I suggest meeting people in real life doing the things you love.
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
It's not where you meet.
It's who you meet.
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