cheating....

[gHEXjt]

They don't necessarily DO it, but I believe they are all THINKING about it!

You're 100% right about that. I'd never cheat on anyone one I'm with, but don't get me wrong, I walk around looking at other broads and wondering about how it would be to screw them.

[carpflounder]

Yeah I know. Plus I think its just in our nature. I'm just wondering if this is something to feel bad about. And those of you who do cross that line from thinking to doing.... do you ever feel bad about it?

[brkn dreamz]

if you cheated on your gf and you don't even feel bad/guilty then something is wrong. I mean I'm sure she means a lot to you but you want to have sex with other girls. Do you realize how much this will hurt her if she ever found out? Also, that it could mean her never wanting to talk to you ever again? Imagine if she just said that to someone else how you are her best friend, she loves having sex with you, she spends all her free time with you ... BUT ... she wants to have sex with other guys. Would you approve of it? I say don't do what you wouldn't want your gf to do. What's good for you is just as good for your gf. If I ever cheated on my bf I'd feel so guilty and not worthy of him loving me seriously. I'd eventually tell him 'cause I feel he has the right to know cause I'm sharing myself with other people (if I ever cheated). The saying of "he's a guy what do you expect", heck fight it then.

[sevink]

being somone who has bin cheated on twice....CHEATING IS NEVER NEVER NEVER OK it felt like somone ripped my heart out, Then have her say....You werent man enough for me reallllly helped....But lets not get into that!

[Tas]

Do you really expect an answer to this all time unanswered question?

This question has a twofold aspect. The first is clearly biological and for all beings (including humans) it has shown that male will always want to hunt and at least think of going with different females while the female deep inside will need emotional linkage with a male. The other side is related to society ethics tought us that human should look for completion through monogamy.

For me it's clearly a matter of compromise. As I see it, being with one person for very long (even for your whole life) will definitely couse problems because love doesn't last for ever just because human is independent and likes anything new/different. So as a human you choose, being in a relationship and expect all these as natural or not being committed but always have this feeling of lonelyness.

I know people that try to hide it from him/her and the society around and people that divorce and marry again. It just happens in many cases. For me you just live your life at the highest till a specific age, if you see with your current relationship you don't "arouse" each other it's wise to find sthg else instead of cheating.

[FrenchMaid]

YEP.. trusth me its not worthted... I had the experience.. and I told him what happen but he doesn't believe me... the worst is that I never screw the guy, but he think so .. and its unbeliveble the think that he think happen... its make my head spin...this is 4 yrs ago and he still talk about it.. SO NO.. it was not worthed and honesty is not always in your favour trusth me...now just to hurt me he goes after about girl.. AND I AM SURE THAT YOU KNOW MY STORY ALREADY.... hope you sitdown and think about it.. because if you don't tell her, she probably will find out, if its not this time maybe another time she will...

[carpflounder]

Thanks. I do have some interest in dissecting this..I am an empathetic person. I talked to this Asian guy who works near me, and he gave me another angle to look at it with. He told me that he loves his wife, but "that man sleep with other woman and that how it is".

Western society rarely goes for that. I would very much like to be honest with her in regard to this, but I dont want to jeopardize my relationship any more than I have. Thanks all, for letting me know what you think.

[TAVS]

Yea, dishonesty is always the best policy in a relationship. But then again, so is cheating so you're set.

[Apache]

Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wifes, all cheat.
There's not a higher percentage of either sex that cheats more
than the other. These so called statistics are pure crap.

Cheating does not always involve sex. Thats a big misconception.
Chatting on line for instance is a form of cheating. An easy way
of knowing if you are cheating is when it becomes a secretive part
of your life hidden from your S/O. Giving to a third party what belongs
to your mate. And a cheater always knows when he/she is cheating.

In whatever way shape or form it comes in, cheating is always wrong.
And it still happens all the time. I agree with what was said, if you
find the need to cheat, then its time to move on.

But here's a word of caution. Before you head out for that greener
pasture ahead, think about what you are doing. You might be throwing
something away that just needed polishing up.

I cheated, and left behind a woman that was probably the best thing
that happened to me in my life for this exciting new one I found.
And within a few months those greener pastures turned brown very
quickly. Now I see that the pasture I left may not of been green all the time.
But it never was brown. And if I would have tended to it properly I am
sure it would have been the greenest pasture in all the lands.

Hindsight..learn from my mistake.

Apache

[bluesummer]

Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wifes, all cheat.
There's not a higher percentage of either sex that cheats more
than the other. These so called statistics are pure crap.

Cheating does not always involve sex. Thats a big misconception.
Chatting on line for instance is a form of cheating. An easy way
of knowing if you are cheating is when it becomes a secretive part
of your life hidden from your S/O. Giving to a third party what belongs
to your mate. And a cheater always knows when he/she is cheating.

In whatever way shape or form it comes in, cheating is always wrong.
And it still happens all the time. I agree with what was said, if you
find the need to cheat, then its time to move on.

But here's a word of caution. Before you head out for that greener
pasture ahead, think about what you are doing. You might be throwing
something away that just needed polishing up.

I cheated, and left behind a woman that was probably the best thing
that happened to me in my life for this exciting new one I found.
And within a few months those greener pastures turned brown very
quickly. Now I see that the pasture I left may not of been green all the time.
But it never was brown. And if I would have tended to it properly I am
sure it would have been the greenest pasture in all the lands.

Hindsight..learn from my mistake.

Apache

Truer words were never spoken.

[Lloyd95]

Let me, for the sake of playing Devil's Advocate, throw this out there:

Does cheating make you love your significant other less?

[shh!]

It depends on how attached you are to your lover, I guess...

[misombra]

Let me, for the sake of playing Devil's Advocate, throw this out there:

Does cheating make you love your significant other less?

i don't think it does. but i do think it puts a lot of distance between someone and their s/o and makes it really easy to fall out of love.

[Lloyd95]

Well, hypothetically:

Say you're in a relationship that's great. A guy goes to a strip bar and gets a BJ (yes, there are some like that, Tone told me). did he cheat? I'd say yes. does it mean anything? Does it make him love his gf any less?

Some guys would be wrought with guilt, others not. So it depends. No harm no foul, or relationship killer?

[shh!]

A blow job from a cheap stripper is not the same thing as having an emotionally invested affair with another person. Not that I would ever admit this to my S/O, but I wouldn't rip apart a marriage over a blow job from a stripper; there is too much invested in that relationship. I don't know about a non-marital relationship, though. There just isn't the same level of investment. Too many outside factors to consider, so it would probably have to be decided on a case-by-case basis for me.