43 year old guy, what does he want?

[idoubtit]

ok update here
I emailed him and said I enjoyed the show a lot and invited him to go dancing with me next weekend.
He replied saying ok Friday night then.
haha I will make sure that he could not get his hands off me and I will ask him what he really wants after the dance!

[idoubtit]

ok, we went dancing, he kissed me bye.
After that, I emailed him, saying that I missed him, and asked if he wanted me to miss him or not? and I asked what he was looking for now.
Here is his reply:

Yeah i did have a lot of fun with u. If u miss me thats ok with me, i like u. U seem a lot of fun, at the first dancing club we went to, u livened up the dead place, thats cool, and your stuck smile cool too. The second dancing club was great. I like the fact of your school/career ambition, and u keep busy. I'm a busy person and gotta do my own things too. U ask what I'm looking for, well I guess someone I can connect with, gotta be chemistry, and compatible drives and interests, and compatible personalities, someone thats always happy to see me and misses me when I'm away (sounds like my dog, haha), basically a soul mate. The girl does'nt have to be like me, but our differences enhance each other. I have had all the things I'm looking before, just not all in the same girl. I find you attractive and fun to be with. In all reality it takes some time to know someone. One thing that I feel that is my biggest asset is my super ultra positive attitude, my mood is very stable and I dont get depressed. I dont have the ego thing and dont feel I need to impress anybody, I have my own self esteem and dont need to flaunt anything. Sense of humor is important to me cause I love to laugh.

Maybe u could tell me what u r looking for. If u want to just do some casual hang out without any expectations, we could just look for friendship. A soulmate I feel is like your best friend. If anything happens beyond that, so be it, if not i would still find interest in getting to know u. Life is a wonderful journey and its great to enjoy the ride.

---------------

Question: should I still go out with him? It seems that he is not eager to enter a long term relationship at all, right? Is it a waste of my time if I still continue going out with him? (I definitely wanna get a serious bf and get married in the near future)

thanks.

[Aeradalia]

He's interested in a soulmate.. thus he's looking for a long term relationship... he's just unsure if you are... and he doesn't want to make any promises as he doesn't know you very well...

YES... you should go out with him again... he sounds like a great guy...

[idoubtit]

Aeradalia, thanks for your encouragement.
But the thing is, now there are some other guys who seem much more eager to know more about me, and much more active asking me out more frequently.
Actually a guy already made it very clear that he wanted to date with me every weekend regularly and he was constantly asking about my standard for bf, and calls me everyday.
I do like this 43 year old guy, but I am afraid his very lay-back attitude would make it impossible to know better about him before some more aggressive guy (who is likable too) catches me.
I still wanna give the 43 year old a chance, but he is not in a hurry at all.

[Aeradalia]

Just based on what this older guy has said... he is looking for a long term relationship and he is wanting to make certain that he finds the 'right' person... His laid back attitude may be because he doesn't want to chase you away...

The choice is yours... if you're not interested in him.. then it might be time to move on to the next guy...

[CAM]

I'm around his age, so my perspective. He's being very cautious. If he's a trader, then he knows economics: he's looking at the opportunity costs of dating you: in other words, what opportunities for benefit are lost by investing in you? So, if you like him, then you have to show him that the benefit of dating you is worth his time (and I'm not saying that you should get all romantic too quickly). But, probably showing that you are bright and energetic person would be a plus. Have you been curious about his work and his goals? Asking questions and showing an interest in him is key to his age-group. He went to high school in the 1980s--preppy was in, dressing nicely was in, doing your hair nicely was in (compared to the young lumpen I see "dating" these days). Oh, manners were in, too...like eating with your mouth closed, covering your mouth when yawning or sneezing...you know, things that you don't see very often anymore.

[CAM]

Also, keep your eyes open...a lot of traders have cocaine problems...

[idoubtit]

wow, drug? sounds scary

[lesa]

wow, drug? sounds scary

Is that's why you like him?

[idoubtit]

no of course not.
He is a man with too many stories. I might need to give up a guy whom I can not handle

[Aeradalia]

Too many stories?

[idoubtit]

yea he told me some really dramatic stories in his life, I was so shocked , and he told me that's just a tiny part of his adventures

[Aeradalia]

What were the nature of these stories? Why would they shock you?

[CAM]

no of course not.
He is a man with too many stories. I might need to give up a guy whom I can not handle

What does this mean? Like he led a "sailor's life"...basket f--ks and all?

If so, I'm not surprised. Traders are oftentimes bums, real bums.

[idoubtit]

no, why would he tell me about his f--ks? is he crazy?

He told me the stories he had when he was a realtor before becoming a trader. He told me how he forced some very dangerous drug dealers out of a building he wanted to buy，how he helped the SWAT caught the bad guy and how he fought with the guy who tried to kill him on the court and things like that.

He told me since he had multiple properties, and he rents most of them to different people, what interesting tenants he has, and what interesting stories happened in those apartments.

He told me how he liked extreme outdoor sports, and how badly he hurt himself before. He seems to be an accident-prone guy who doesn't feel any physical pain. Maybe he wanted to impress me by describing himself as a "tough" guy?