issue with communication

[skrat28]

And nobody is here to make you feel like crap, they are stating their opinions whether it be wrong or right! Sometimes they are just blunt!
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Pompous @sshole.
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Maybe you should try dating someone you don't feel is inferior to you. Besides, you are probably boring her to death.
...
???

[Rosebud]

What? Like I said they have their own opinions. Ignore them if you dont like what they say.

So what do you think about my comments earlier???

[whaywardj]

Consider the idea you chose her to be with BECAUSE she's less expressive verbally than you. Such a partner presents one who has a facility with the language a great many opportunities...not all of which are for the good of either of you. I suspect the real issue has nothing at all to do with communication. Or, maybe it does. But in a manner opposite than that you imagine. Or have made yourself believe.

[misombra]

maybe she just doesn't want to talk to you because of your condescending tone. you assume that you are so smart and can see things on more levels than just one, or whatever, and she thinks you'll judge her and/or think she's stupid. girls don't like to be hounded about their feelings all the time.

guy: what's wrong.
girl: nothing.
guy: no, i can see something's wrong what is it?
girl: seriously, nothing.
guy: you just don't like you talk about your feelings. if you had the vocabulary i do maybe you can articulate what you're thinking and feeling right now...
girl: ugh, shut up.

u see?

[shh!]

And nobody is here to make you feel like crap, they are stating their opinions whether it be wrong or right! Sometimes they are just blunt!
....
Pompous @sshole.
....
Maybe you should try dating someone you don't feel is inferior to you. Besides, you are probably boring her to death.
...
???

Sorry, skrat, but this is the impression you give off. I hope it doesn't carry over into your real life. Maybe your girlfriend hasn't noticed these qualities.

You ought to consider what it really means to communicate. It is the use of words to effectively impart information or ideas. If your girlfriend is having a hard time understanding the words you use, perhaps it is YOU that has a problem, and not her.

[whaywardj]

You ought to consider what it really means to communicate. It is the use of words to effectively impart information or ideas. If your girlfriend is having a hard time understanding the words you use, perhaps it is YOU that has a problem, and not her.

Yeah. You being so smart and able to see so many different levels, and all, this shouldn't even be an issue. You should be able to easily adjust to accomodate her. But I don't think you want that. I think you WANT her to be subordinate you in this regard. At least. Perhaps, in other regards, as well. It reinforces your self-perception.

Try this: Start hanging out with people who have a GREATER facility with language than you. Start with polyglots and work you way up to those who write or speak professionally in a SECOND language. Translators or interpreters, say. See what comes to mind about your gf after a few weeks or months of that.

[misombra]

yeah.
______

[skrat28]

rosebud u have had some great things to say and i thank you. this really is my fault because now im not explaining enough. we have a long distance relationship, everything is based on talking. we get together often but not so much that we see each other even every week. thats why communication is so important. thanks for all of you who are honestly trying to help.

[whaywardj]

And yet another one cringes away from the unwavering gaze of LF!

[misombra]

some people have thick skulls.

[whaywardj]

How transparent. He involves himself with person who is less verbal than he in such a way as to make talking the ONLY available means of communicating. He's doomed her to fail. His confirmation had at the expense if her self-esteem. I could easily strangle guys like that.

[skrat28]

How transparent. He involves himself with person who is less verbal than he in such a way as to make talking the ONLY available means of communicating. He's doomed her to fail. His confirmation had at the expense if her self-esteem. I could easily strangle guys like that.

so tell me whaywardj (the all knower) are you such a genius that you can talk in a way that not only has nothing to do with the situation but also talk to people reading this not to me, the one who is actually in the situation. im pretty sure if you have comments about who i am as a person and my choices outside of this there is a more appropiate place to say it. go put it in random comments that skrat28 is a jackass if you so desire. but please im serious about this relationship and i would like actual ADVICE on how to make it survive, not reasons why it wont. thank you.

[whaywardj]

You've all the advice you need, jerk. LOOK TO YOURSELF. It's not my problem you're too dense to accept it. Nor am I going to sit here and reinforce your delusions of grandeur by saying shit like "maybe, if you this, she'd that," confirming your presumption SHE has the problem. Wake the **** up.

[Rosebud]

To be honest, I think you have high expectations of her. You want her to be the same way you are but she's not. I know you love her and I know you think it's all good but communictaion is the key here. If you try to hard to communicate with her while using the words you have used on here you will only push her away by telling her she needs to open up more, only because it's not the way you speak your mind. If this is really what you want and it bothers you this much, then maybe you should find someone who understands where you come from better.

IMO, people who use large words in certain areas are only trying to hide something. I'm not saying this is you.. I'm saying this is what I have come accross before. And without even knowing it, they make other people feel inferior.

[whaywardj]

God, you're soo patient, RB. I'm envious.