Please give me some peace of mind

[seingold]

Well I don't think I should say anything today, she was very sick and throwing up all Saturday and last night, and she still feels terrible. I should probably hold in my urge and wait.

[carpflounder]

She should be worried he's about to go Bunny Boiler on her, not be defending him.

Exactly, Gigabitch, that is just the inconsistency I wanted to show Seingold. If she is into you then there should be no room in her life for some guy who wants to get with her. A totally platonic guy friend; not a problem. But this guy is on to her and she is not pushing him away!

Seingold see her in person. And before you ask her, lay it all out. About how she is your first real girlfriend your first real love, how important all this is too you, how delicate it is and the care you have given in thinking about how to ask her this..etc... all your concerns (which should matter immensely to her).

THEN
]
BOOM ask her. She should tell you no. It should be a straight emphatic "no". If she responds by saying something like "God, seingold, you always ask me this shit." Then she is bullshitting you. If she squints her eyebrows and thinks for a second then says "NO" then she is bullshitting you.

Trust your intstincts and do it in person.

[seingold]

Well, I went to her college and straight up asked her. And she said no, definately not, and "how many times do you have to ask that before you believe me?" In reality i've asked 3 times. Once when she was in New Zealand, once when that guy sent her the roses, and then once yesterday. So she's upset that after all this time I still don't trust her. I think I had every right to ask, and I really do believe her.