Girl I'm dating ex wants back with her, and she's hearing him out...

[leight69]

Since the time of my last post, there has been little contact, but some interesting contact. We have only chatted online, but its all been flirty. She has continued to try to reach me, and in fact got "upset" that I havn`t been responding...(Ive just been away when she messaged me)

anyway - any suggestions on how to seduce her? I`d like to, but don`t know how. -(im thinking this regardless of her trying to work things out with him...)

[sfalexi]

She's just being friendly. You're in the "friend-zone". Friends often flirt with other friends. ESPECIALLY over the net. In person, when she sees you trying to flirt with her too much and you start to make her uncomfortable, she'll back off never quite letting you get close enough to become "more" than friends.

Sorry pal. This battle's lost.

[Pretender]

I agree with Sfalexi. Dont try and seduce her, Even if she is flirting with you, you would be kind of cheating with her on the current infatuation. So uh I would just back off and play it cool.

[leight69]

hear me out...


1) the last time i saw her, we were kissing each other good night. my assumption is that i am not yet in the friends category, but could easily be placed into that category if i allow myself to be.

2) therefore I want to avoid being in the friends category, and want to figure out how to stay in the category i am currently in.

3) i am aware that she would be cheating on the other guy, but i dont really care - (for a multitude of reasons)

4)I'm not looking for a relationship with her (anymore -particularly if she actually does go for me).....so scratch that off my intentions list.

I'm going for it all or nothing here.

5) this is more to see if I "can do it" - im tired of being the nice guy, who`s told he could be aplayer if he wanted to be, now i actually want to see if i can be player...but need help to figure out how. - this seems like a good place to start.

[squirrley]

no its not. Do you really want to ruin a friendship?

Man-if youre tired of being the nice guy and just want to "play" go to the bars. Dont make that kinda crap with people you know and care about. Thats just wrong.

WHY would you even want to continue going after HER? She made her decision-whether you like it or not-and frankly telling her so might have just thrown your ass to the curb. You shouldve just told her goodluck and you wished her well. Its her mistake to make.

Let this one go.

[leight69]

no its not. Do you really want to ruin a friendship?
Man-if youre tired of being the nice guy and just want to "play" go to the bars. Dont make that kinda crap with people you know and care about. Thats just wrong.

WHY would you even want to continue going after HER?

Reasons being, I don't really "know" her all that well - we are only recently acquinted. Also I know right now that I won't really be happy around her as just her "friend". We don't know each other well enough that if we dont talk for a while we'll be able to reconnect like old friends...'cause we aren't. And just being friends for now, I don't really have all that much interest. (Not saying she isn't a cool girl...) just saying I wanted her before on two levels, now that I've been shut out on one, why am I so evil to want to try to see if she'll still fall for me on the other?

Or is this a lost cause asking you guys? Cause I have the sneeking suspicion you aren't going to help my cause any.

[sfalexi]

Well it's your choice what you want to do. In this case you REALLY have to try hard to seduce her. But less "talking" and more "action" at this point. Talking is being nice. And will put you in the friendzone VERY quickly. At this point you have to be very touchy feely. Smoothing hair away from her face, etc. "kino" her a lot (do a search. I think it might be under MVPlaya's journal too) Don't be her crutch. Or, if you're GOING to be her crutch, make sure you're there in person to hug her and make her feel good. Over the phone or internet conversations aren't going to help you at this point at all. You have to use body contact to get her. And lots of looking into her eyes, and keeping your face close to hers, but don't try to kiss her. It'll make her WANT you to kiss her until she can barely stand it anymore.

Alexi

Not the thing that I would do, even in your case though. Chances are if you wanted her on one level before, you'll still want her on that level this time. And even if you DO manage to get her away from her boyfriend and into your bed for one night, you'll end up being pissed when she goes back to him or want to make it a relationship thing anyway. So I really don't see why you're doing this.

If you want to play, play. But why play with a past object of desire? Go to a club/bar and pick up some girl THERE who just wants to play too.