Afraid of a loss...

[Gigabitch]

You'd better go through with it or it's me and jinx all over you.

[jinx343]

you bet giga! i'm oh so ready for it!

seamaster.. just get it over and done with. the more you think, the more paranoid you get about everything that comes to your mind. and im telling you, it's just YOU making those things up coz that's what and how you wanted to believe it to be.

plus, no matter how much you prepare or rehearse your lines, trust me.. you will forge about all of it when the right time comes.. just be natural. go with the flow.. say what comes in your mind.. it's different when you're in the actual situation already.

if asking her out for dinner is not reason enough to talk to her, i dunno what else could there be.... just go, go, go! dont let your oh-so-negative mind think some more.

else giga and i are gonna box it to the pulp!

[Alex-Meli]

To be the rather sappy guy I guess lol... If you showed her your post in this forum, it'd show so much emotions and gain so much sympathy, it may work that way.. :-p send her a link via Facebook? O.o

[Seamaster]

So...

The rehearsal was today. And... it definitely didn't happen. I think even fate was against me this morning lol, there was no way I could do it.

Lying in bed last night I kind of came up with what I want to say, and have thought it through a couple times in my mind. If I got a minute alone with her I'd say that I really need to tell her something. To summarize, basically, I'd say that I feel like a real bastard for not asking her to the prom, especially after seeing the pictures of her without a date, and that I'd really like to make it up to her sometime...

I liked it because it's, well, true, and it's almost an apology and would be easier for me to say. It's just feels more sincere, and I think I owe her the apology anyway. But the part I liked best about it is that she could come out of it gracefully if she wanted to decline, by just saying that I shouldn't feel bad and that she just wanted to go with her friends anyway, rather than just saying a flat no and come out feeling bad about it. I really don't want to stigmatize her memory of her high school graduation, especially since it's something selfish like this. And I'd like to do it when we had a minute alone, I'd feel terrible embarrassing her in front of her friends, so I had planned on (if I got the chance) casually asking if I could return the favor and give her a lift home.

Woke up this morning, got ready for the rehearsal. Big problem with my plan already. My car's still in the shop from when it was hit, so I had to take my mom's minivan. That's definitely not gonna fly... hahaha

So scratch that, I'll just see if I can catch her alone. I go outside to the car and it's windy as hell, and it blows my hair all over the place. Definitely not my day so far. I get in and drive there and manage to make it in time.

First off, the whole thing was crowded and disorganized so I couldn't even find her. Once everyone sat down I was able to spot her, though she was all the way across the auditorium (our seats are assigned so I couldn't move). And she was busy the whole time, she's going to be saying a few words during the ceremony so she was preparing for that.

The rehearsal was a few hours long, and in the middle they had a little intermission. I went outside the auditorium where there werent too many people, hoping maybe she'd walk by. Though I felt like an idiot just standing there looking at everyone walk by, so I did what everyone else was doing and put my phone to my ear and just listened to my messages... Then she walked by.

She was with a group of 4 or so friends, and she didn't even look up. Admittedly I had my phone to my ear but still... I really think I sent the wrong message when I sent her a thank you message on facebook.

I was already pretty confident she's say no to begin with, now I'm almost certain... Really thinking I should just scrap this whole thing and try to move on, before I just offend her.

Though I've got one more chance. There's that after-party immediately after the graduation ceremony. It's going to be a lock-in (so everyone has to stay the entire time) and it's like 6 hours long. I'll do my best and try and talk to her then, and depending on how things go I'll judge whether to go ahead and ask.

But getting her away from her friends is going to be a bitch. I'll see if I can try giving her a lift home though, now that I've got my car back. I'll wait untill I've got the car stopped and everything before I ask her, so I don't feeling like I'm trapping her in the car...

To be the rather sappy guy I guess lol... If you showed her your post in this forum, it'd show so much emotions and gain so much sympathy, it may work that way.. :-p send her a link via Facebook? O.o

OOH god no. Thanks for the suggestion, but I could never do that...

[Seamaster]

Okay guys...

Graduation's over, the party's in an hour or so. I'll grow some balls and give my best shot...

[Seamaster]

Sorry to triple post, but...

Didn't go through with it.

Saw her at the party, talked a little, but she just didn't seem to act like it mattered whether I was around or not. She hung around mostly with her friends, as I had expected...

At the end I saw her leaving, she didn't have her friends with her. I walked out the doors at the same time but she didn't turn around and say anything... Just walked to her car.

So I guess my mind's pretty settled that she didn't care for me. But I feel even worse than I did before... I can't think of anything but her. I can't get my mind away from it. And just the thought of that being the last time I ever see her...

It's such an enormous weight on my mind. I'm just trying to think of some way I could see her again...