Boyfriend cries a lot!!! What does this mean? (I'm suspicous)

[doppelgaenger]

Suspicious of manipulative behavior?

Tell him to wear his big boy pants or you're not going to stay with him anymore.

[Off2College]

yeah, the first time my girlfriend cried to me, I broke up with her.

Probably one of the worst decisions of my life up to now.

[Digit]

Yeah, I'm not suspicious of anything anymore. I just basically felt uneasy about the way he acts. Right now I know he's just needs to get his act together.

I had a talk with him today. I explained how I felt about everything, and that I'm very exhausted and I can't take it anymore. I have some tough classes I'm taking right now, and I have to do about 7 hours a day of homework. Plus I try to balance working out and my job. When I come back to talk to him, and that he's depressed because I couldn't talk to him, it's REALLY depressing and exhausting for me!!! He basically told me that he's sorry and that he does care about what I think, and that he's just doesn't have enough "social experience," because I also explained how he never seems to ask how I'm doing whenever I ask him how he's doing.

Well, he was sad about what I said, and he looked like he was gonna cry, but I wasn't sure. I gave him a hug and said some funny stuff so he could feel better. He was a little bit better after that.

But seriously, I can't take it anymore I don't care if anyone says I'm being heartless, because I do care for my boyfriend, but I think it's best for BOTH OF US to move on.

I broke up with him. I feel better now, but I'm still worried about him. I hope he's okay. I'm sure he will, but I guess I'm just used to being worried about him whenever he's sad. I'm sure he'll find a much better match for him someday. I hope he does, he's a very sweet guy.

[vashti]

Try not to feel too bad, digit. You were never under any obligation to stay with him through thick and thin... you weren't married to the guy - only dating, and dating is all about deciding IF you are a match, not trying to force one. And really, he sounded emotionally draining. It sounds like you have a very full life without needing to caretake his emotions, too.

Good luck!

[Digit]

Thanks Vashti =), I'm okay with it now. I know there will be times when I will probably look back and go, "Awww crap, why did I leave him..." because he was still a nice guy, especially since we've only been together for about a month. However, I can't drop out of school or quit my job in order to be with him.

The only time I really felt bad was when at that moment I dumped him, he cried on my shoulder as I held him in my arms. I dunno, it's so heartbreaking to see him cry like that...

But at least I'm free =)

And I'm sure he'll be fine eventually. He's a big boy. =P

[Cbrider]

Cries when you don't talk to him for 3 hours? Are you serious?

I hate talking on the phone, whether its a girlfriend or my own mother. I have about a 5 minute limit before it starts to become obvious that I am talking on the phone while working on a running riot in Halo.

This kid needs his mother, a canister of creatine and a home gym.

[Digit]

Meh I miss him. ='(

When I told him about how I felt about all this, he said he was probably gonna change, and that "but I don't want to make you feel like you should give me a second chance."

Although, he was *sorta* reluctant to ask me to be his girlfriend again, because he knew how much he made me miserable.
He said, "I want to be with you, but I also want you to be happy."

I don't feel like I should give him a second chance. He was very emotionally draining and *very* lazy, but I wonder if he could in fact change.

What do you think? Should I go back to him and see if he stays true to his word? If I do go back, I'm gonna make sure not to put up with his crap anymore, but I wonder if I should even bother going back. What do you think?

[Only-virgins]

Meh I miss him. ='(

When I told him about how I felt about all this, he said he was probably gonna change, and that "but I don't want to make you feel like you should give me a second chance."

Although, he was *sorta* reluctant to ask me to be his girlfriend again, because he knew how much he made me miserable.
He said, "I want to be with you, but I also want you to be happy."

I don't feel like I should give him a second chance. He was very emotionally draining and *very* lazy, but I wonder if he could in fact change.

What do you think? Should I go back to him and see if he stays true to his word? If I do go back, I'm gonna make sure not to put up with his crap anymore, but I wonder if I should even bother going back. What do you think?

No come on. He is manipulating you again. Stick to your original word.

[Vain]

Sounds like he is extremely sensitive, self-conscious or has somewhat of a low self esteem. Why are you so suspicious of him? And what are you suspicious of?

[Gribble]

He can change, it's possible. He won't change if you go back to him, though. He'll have what he wants without working for it.

If a year from now the two of you bump into each other it's entirely possible he'll have learned from his loss and from other experiences. Don't go back to the guy. You're doing yourself as disservice as well as him. This could be the eye-opening experience he needs to get out of his lazy crybaby rut.

[Junket]

Guys will genuinely, say, feel, think anything they need to, to get a woman back.

A lot of them really aren't lying when they say things like they'll change. It's just a matter of changing their mind once they get in your pussy. Ask Gribble, he knows about that kind of stuff.

In other words, don't waste your time.

[DoesntMatter]

What is pussy

[Junket]

What is pussy

I dunno, I just thought it would sound good there.

[Indus18]

I used to cry a lot during my first relationship, although not nearly as much as it sounds like your boyfriend does. I was young, and (yes) did have a low self-esteem, and in retrospect, I was trying to foster a codependency because it seemed my girlfriend and I were drifting farther and farther apart.

It was not healthy, and I had no business being in a relationship in that kind of emotional state. You cannot help him, and he certainly doesn't sound like he can help you when you're having a rough time, so I would suggest you get out of this. Let him grow up, even if it hurts him, I really believe this needs to end.

Right now he's only making you feel sorry for him so you stay with him. (Is he having family issues, or life-path issues? Do you feel like you're the only one he can count on?) That's not a healthy pattern, nor a winning strategy on his part...

[Digit]

I talked with him the other day. He says his self-esteem isn't as bad as I think it is, and that he doesn't feel that crappy all the time. Also, I think I over exaggerated when I described how much he cries. Yeah, he does cry more often than the average guy, but not as much as I described it.

What bothers me is that why does he say he has a low self-esteem when he says it's not that bad?

I guess it doesn't matter anymore, though. I still have feelings for him, but I don't think it'll do us any good to stay together. We were both kind of getting further and further apart, too, Indus18.

Although, I guess I wasn't as loving as I could have been during the relationship. I hope he does find a girl in the future that can give him the love that he deserves. I'm not trying to sound sad or anything, I really hope he does. I just can't wait until I graduate, get a car, and start my life so I can rule the world. >=)