my ex mrs and i want to get back together HELP!!!

[vashti]

With the way you behaved during her pregnancy, i can't blame her mom at all. You don't sound like a great catch. You knocked up a very young woman who probably should have been going to school instead of raising babies, and this will have a lasting impact on her future. Then abandoned her emotionally when she was pregnant. No mother in her right mind would be happy about that, and very few would be happy about their kid getting married at 20, whether or not you were a nice guy.

If you want to change her family's opinion of you, you need to get to work. You should be seeing that baby on a regular basis and paying regular child support. Also, it isn't called "babysitting" when you are talking about your own child - that is called "parenting". Babysitting is something done by the teenager down the street for money, or by friends as a favor, and this child is your responsibility.

It is going to take a lot of effort to change their opinions, so you need to be patient. You did a lot of damage, and trust is difficult to re-establish.

[stokefan]

With the way you behaved during her pregnancy, i can't blame her mom at all. You don't sound like a great catch. You knocked up a very young woman who probably should have been going to school instead of raising babies, and this will have a lasting impact on her future. Then abandoned her emotionally when she was pregnant. No mother in her right mind would be happy about that, and very few would be happy about their kid getting married at 20, whether or not you were a nice guy.

If you want to change her family's opinion of you, you need to get to work. You should be seeing that baby on a regular basis and paying regular child support. Also, it isn't called "babysitting" when you are talking about your own child - that is called "parenting". Babysitting is something done by the teenager down the street for money, or by friends as a favor, and this child is your responsibility.

It is going to take a lot of effort to change their opinions, so you need to be patient. You did a lot of damage, and trust is difficult to re-establish.

no i know its parenting, dont make out like i aint a parent, and for your information the baby was planned, and her mum knew it, my ex was defo not going to be going school too, and i have already said i have regular access to my daughter, but sunday night was the first time i have been "parenting" at my exs house the point of me saying that was to highlight what her mum was like!!!

[vashti]

Eek. Planning pregnancies at the age of 20, no school, no husband? Honestly, that's every mother's nightmare right there.

Good luck.

[stokefan]

Eek. Planning pregnancies at the age of 20, no school, no husband? Honestly, that's every mother's nightmare right there.

Good luck.

in england we finish school at 16

her mum was really happy about her being pregnant, but just never showed it to us after the initial suprise of telling her

her mum had her first child at 16 years old

we were in a stable relationship and living together before she was pregnant

[Indignant]

in england we finish school at 16

her mum was really happy about her being pregnant, but just never showed it to us after the initial suprise of telling her

her mum had her first child at 16 years old

we were in a stable relationship and living together before she was pregnant

but if her mother was originally "happy" about the baby, what happened that made her change her mind?

[stokefan]

nothing changed, she just hasnt got a nice bone in her body,, you see she is alone and i think doesnt want to see her youngest daughter with anyone, like i have said she has hated all my exs boyfriends prior to me too

[vashti]

It sounds like she has very poor judgement. I'm not sure anyone else in this scenario is any better, though. It sounds like you all are a perfect match. Just hang in there, and her mom should come around eventually.

[Mish]

nothing changed, she just hasnt got a nice bone in her body,, you see she is alone and i think doesnt want to see her youngest daughter with anyone, like i have said she has hated all my exs boyfriends prior to me too

I think you're trying to make her into some kind of an evil witch flying on a broom stick that hates everyone. I find it hard to believe she is as bad as you are trying to make her out to be. Sounds more like an excuse to not try to make amends and fix things between you and her. I think you need less focus on demonizing and more focus on fixing.

[stokefan]

im not making out like she is evil at all. im telling the truth, im trying to focus on fixing, thats why im on here, im a realist and i dont make things up everything i have said is true, there is more but im not going to tell you what else she has done.
i know we would be perfect family if we were able to get back together and all i want to do is make up with her family, (if i didnt love her, i wouldnt be getting back into this mine field, because i know what she will be like), im here for advice on how to bring her family around and how to get my ex to stand up for what she wants

[Mish]

im here for advice on how to bring her family around and how to get my ex to stand up for what she wants

I think you can definitely make it easier for your ex to stand up for what she wants by you making peace with her family.

i know we would be perfect family if we were able to get back together and all i want to do is make up with her family

I agree, so how are you going to do it? How will you make peace with her sister and mother?

[stokefan]

my ex wont let me talk to her family so i have no idea on how to go about this, i dont want to go behind her back because that may cause problems, shes worried ill rock the boat if i talk to them.

im stuck, i dont know what i can do

[Mish]

my ex wont let me talk to her family so i have no idea on how to go about this, i dont want to go behind her back because that may cause problems, shes worried ill rock the boat if i talk to them.

Is that a genuine fear? Are you capable of rocking the boat? In this case you should probably start with her. Tell her that you really want to make peace with her family and ask her for advice on how you can do it. Tell her that you are ready to do whatever is needed to make up with them and see what she says. But you also need to believe it when you say it, that you will not fight when the time comes to make amends and you will simply do what is necessary. I think she will look at this favourably.

[TipsGoda]

Hi me and my ex have been split up for a few months now and have a beautiful daughter together, and anyway she and i want to get back together, the problem being her mum and sister!

they dont like me, and my ex has told them that we are going to try again and take it slow but they have been funny with her, basically saying she has been a shit mum (she is a great mum) and getting involved saying if we get back together i will stop her from going out and stop the family from seeing my daughter (i am not possesiveand would never stop her going out or stop anyone from seeing our daughter).

my ex is worried if we get back together she will lose her mum and sister, she has tried explaining things to them but they just wont listen.

what can she do, i know she is feeling down and i just want to help her through this, and get us back on the correct path

please help, thanks

hey there..looks like you have some deep issues there.What you can do i think is to confront her mum and sis face 2 face..tell them what you wanna say..i think they just want some reassurance..

and tell your ex to hang on and be strong..i think in this case you guys have to be strong for each other..

i wish you all the best..