my ex mrs and i want to get back together HELP!!!

[stokefan]

Hi me and my ex have been split up for a few months now and have a beautiful daughter together, and anyway she and i want to get back together, the problem being her mum and sister!

they dont like me, and my ex has told them that we are going to try again and take it slow but they have been funny with her, basically saying she has been a shit mum (she is a great mum) and getting involved saying if we get back together i will stop her from going out and stop the family from seeing my daughter (i am not possesiveand would never stop her going out or stop anyone from seeing our daughter).

my ex is worried if we get back together she will lose her mum and sister, she has tried explaining things to them but they just wont listen.

what can she do, i know she is feeling down and i just want to help her through this, and get us back on the correct path

please help, thanks

[Spring Haze]

If they're as scathing and manipulative as you're making them out to be, she needs to behave like an adult by cutting ties with them.

[stokefan]

If they're as scathing and manipulative as you're making them out to be, she needs to behave like an adult by cutting ties with them.

they are, but the reason we broke up in the first place is because of me and her family picked up the pieces, i dont want her to lose her family as they are good to her, BUT at the same time they have disliked me from day one and we have been going out for 2 years, my ex realises that i am the same person she fell inlove with but i cant understand why her family aint supportive , i baby sat for the little un today why my ex went out, and her mum sent a msg to my ex saying that the baby doesnt know me and i shouldnt be looking after her, (i have had regular access since she was born).

they just like to put a spoke in the works i think.

basically what i did was not treat my ex very well during the pregnancy, i worked away alot to get as much money as i could so we could live comfortable and the baby would have the best, and my ex was lonely all the time(i didnt like it either), but she kept making me feel guilty, and i used to speak to her nasty and basically make her feel horrible, i cant make any excuses i wasnt the best support when she needed me the most and i regret it all the time. since then i have tryed to show her how much i love her and regreted my actions, and now she can see that, her family are putting so much pressure on her, yet her two closest mates are behind her 100%

[lesa]

I was going to say move away but I see you guys have that matrilocal thing going on.

Do you need major improvement? Work on improving yourself and they will respect you more. Remove as much unnecessary drama as possible from your life.

[lesa]

they are, but the reason we broke up in the first place is because of me and her family picked up the pieces, i dont want her to lose her family as they are good to her, BUT at the same time they have disliked me from day one and we have been going out for 2 years, my ex realises that i am the same person she fell inlove with but i cant understand why her family aint supportive , i baby sat for the little un today why my ex went out, and her mum sent a msg to my ex saying that the baby doesnt know me and i shouldnt be looking after her, (i have had regular access since she was born).

they just like to put a spoke in the works i think.

basically what i did was not treat my ex very well during the pregnancy, i worked away alot to get as much money as i could so we could live comfortable and the baby would have the best, and my ex was lonely all the time(i didnt like it either), but she kept making me feel guilty, and i used to speak to her nasty and basically make her feel horrible, i cant make any excuses i wasnt the best support when she needed me the most and i regret it all the time. since then i have tryed to show her how much i love her and regreted my actions, and now she can see that, her family are putting so much pressure on her, yet her two closest mates are behind her 100%

Dude, it's because you are nothing but a sperm donor to them. You are not married AND you neglected a pregnant lover? Me no like that either. I'm rarely dramatic (I think, lol) but times like that I would be. You are a man and your job is to take care emotionally, financially, physically, etc your pregnant lover. If you can't do that then you are not a responsible, loving, and caring partner in anyone's eyes. Basically what I am trying to say is that you ****ed up....real bad.

Did you have a good relationship with them before the pregnancy?

[stokefan]

I was going to say move away but I see you guys have that matrilocal thing going on.

Do you need major improvement? Work on improving yourself and they will respect you more. Remove as much unnecessary drama as possible from your life.

im trying, but my ex wont let me talk to them because it will make it worse, and if im honest if i was jesus in disguise it wouldnt make any differance.

i just want them to support my ex, and i dont mind if they keep a close eye on the relationship, i just want to show them all how wrong they can be

[stokefan]

Dude, it's because you are nothing but a sperm donor to them. You are not married AND you neglected a pregnant lover? Me no like that either. I'm rarely dramatic (I think, lol) but times like that I would be. You are a man and your job is to take care emotionally, financially, physically, etc your pregnant lover. If you can't do that then you are not a responsible, loving, and caring partner in anyone's eyes. Basically what I am trying to say is that you ****ed up....real bad.

Did you have a good relationship with them before the pregnancy?

not her family no, but me and my ex got on like an house on fire, i know i ****ed up, but im trying to make up for it, my ex can see that im the same person, my exs family have never really got on with her former boyfriends either!

she is 20 by the way im 24

[lesa]

im trying, but my ex wont let me talk to them because it will make it worse, and if im honest if i was jesus in disguise it wouldnt make any differance.

i just want them to support my ex, and i dont mind if they keep a close eye on the relationship, i just want to show them all how wrong they can be

It is not your job to show them how wrong they can be. Your job is to be a great man for your woman and child. The rest will show from that. Treat her very good and they will come around in time.

not her family no, but me and my ex got on like an house on fire, i know i ****ed up, but im trying to make up for it, my ex can see that im the same person, my exs family have never really got on with her former boyfriends either!

she is 20 by the way im 24

Yeah, saying that you ****ed up over and over is not going to do anything. And saying that you are trying to make up for is it not going to do anything. Become a better man than even before the pregnancy. Here is your chance to shine dude. Isn't it wonderful that we can do that? Despite our pasts we have time to shine in the present which will affect our future. You are trying to change the future before working on the present.

Enjoy this time with the girlfriend. Life is meant to be enjoyed in the present time. You may be dead tomorrow. So get off your chair and visit the woman and child and have a wonderful evening together as family.

[stokefan]

It is not your job to show them how wrong they can be. Your job is to be a great man for your woman and child. The rest will show from that. Treat her very good and they will come around in time.



Yeah, saying that you ****ed up over and over is not going to do anything. And saying that you are trying to make up for is it not going to do anything. Become a better man than even before the pregnancy. Here is your chance to shine dude. Isn't it wonderful that we can do that? Despite our pasts we have time to shine in the present which will affect our future. You are trying to change the future before working on the present.

Enjoy this time with the girlfriend. Life is meant to be enjoyed in the present time. You may be dead tomorrow. So get off your chair and visit the woman and child and have a wonderful evening together as family.

sorry you miss understand me, my ex says she cant get back with me even though she wants too, because of upsetting her family, we spent friday night together and were back together on sunday morning but when she spoke to her mum and sister we were back off (sunday afternoon), i dont know what i can do to make her see that being with me aint a risk, i want my family i would give up verything for them

[lesa]

Does she live with her parents?

Dude you got with the child for a woman so now you must deal with the consequences. It's not like you will never have a chance. You two have a child together. If she doesn't find a better man, she will come back to you.

Right now you need to be a father. Are you telling me that you cannot spend time with your child?

[Mish]

sorry you miss understand me, my ex says she cant get back with me even though she wants too, because of upsetting her family, we spent friday night together and were back together on sunday morning but when she spoke to her mum and sister we were back off (sunday afternoon), i dont know what i can do to make her see that being with me aint a risk, i want my family i would give up verything for them

You would give up everything for a family? Well, in that case maybe it's time to make amends and make peace with her family? Since if you do manage to get back together they will be your family too. How about scheduling some type of a meeting with her mum and sister where you can apologize where necessary for any past wrongs and ask of them what can you do to make amends so you can re-form the relationship? Her family will always hold a big sway and be a huge influence on any of her decisions, you need to be in their favour.

[stokefan]

no i can sped time with the child and i do, i love her to bits that aint the problem, my ex wants me now, but she feels like she cant let her family down, she definatly wants me back, but is petrified of her mum and sister. i have tryed to give her advice and her friends have told her to do what she wants but she feels like she will lose themif she comes back with me, i just dont know what to say to her, or how to tell her things will get easier

EDIT

I would speak to her family but she wont let me do it, if you knew her mum you would know why!
she is the type of person who will send txt msgs to my ex telling her i dont love her or my unborn child(when she was pregnant)
and the same woman never congratulated us when we found out about being pregnant or when we got engaged, she cried when me and my ex told her we didnt want her at the birth as its an intermit thing between mother and father.

[Mish]

I would speak to her family but she wont let me do it, if you knew her mum you would know why!
she is the type of person who will send txt msgs to my ex telling her i dont love her or my unborn child(when she was pregnant)
and the same woman never congratulated us when we found out about being pregnant or when we got engaged

And what's her reason for doing that? There must be a reason

[Gigabitch]

What you should do is establish a home for them. With the way her family is acting, it won't be too long before she arrives, suitcase in hand, baby in tow, but you have to give her a stable, loving place to go. It's not clear to me what you have to offer her that would make the risk of losing her family worth it.

Be the man she deserves. Her mom and sister are so rotten it's only a matter of time before she comes back to you.

[stokefan]

And what's her reason for doing that? There must be a reason

the reason is, she is jus point scoring, she knew my ex would tell me because we have no secrets, and she knew i would react badly, futher pushig her in to her mums arms, i used to get uptight and blame my ex for not sticking up for me,, not truely realising what a position she was in!

and i have got my own house but so has my ex, we have said that we wont move in together for a few months and just see how things go, take them slow and let them develop