I never thought I'd be "the other woman".

[Mish]

This guy is living the life. He found a loophole how to stay married and have lots of sex as well. So what if it takes a bit of acting.

[Junket]

Yeah, I kinda admire him actually.

[zombie_loo89]

**** that.
even being with someone who's married, i wouldn't do it no matter how much i liked the person.

[forget.regret]

Yes. He just needs to make the choice to do so. Custody will definitely be a sticky issue, though.

[forget.regret]

Unfortunately, when divorce takes place, if one of the partners has cheated, they loose many many rights in the divorce. He does have a lot to loose if it ends like that, not just kids but money and possessions as well. It depends on lawyers and judges but cheaters really do never prosper and the law in marriage makes sure of that.

You knew what you were getting yourself into. From the amount of time he spends with you and talking to you, he may really care, but... do you want to be that woman that splits the family up?

Let's say, he does leave her. He has kids. So kids come over to hang with their dad and his mistress who ****ed their family. Sound like a happy picture? Not so much. He has children with this woman, and it sounds like he will choose them over you. Most parents would, don't take it personally. But, this situation can never end well. And there are children involved. It sucks that their marriage sucks, and probably isn't better for the kids necessarily, but putting them through a custody battle would be hell on earth. He would resent you for the headache/heartache. How old are the kids by the way?

I understand. But, lots of people with kids get divorced. I think eventually the situation would work out with the custody issue. One kid is 10 years old and the other is 8 months. So, I'm sure the 10-year-old can see what goes on at home. She's seen her parents seperate and get back together 3 times already. I just don't know. This is a horrible situation.

[Mish]

So you've made a decision to be the woman he's now with in a few years time "if everything works out well" then?

[zombie_loo89]

I'm beginning to think most people have kids just to keep their partner closer to them.

[IndiReloaded]

I understand. But, lots of people with kids get divorced. I think eventually the situation would work out with the custody issue. One kid is 10 years old and the other is 8 months. So, I'm sure the 10-year-old can see what goes on at home. She's seen her parents seperate and get back together 3 times already. I just don't know. This is a horrible situation.

It is horrible. And yes, people w/kids get divorced. But his order of operations is out of whack. He should divorce and get custody sorted out *before* having an affair. Which wouldn't be an affair then, of course.

You need to step away from all this. Do you really want to have contributed to a failed marriage in any way? If you carry on, you are responsible, no buts about it. This karma will come back to bite you, it always does.

Good luck. See if you can't screw up the courage to do what's right. No guy is worth losing your self-respect and morals for.

[misombra]

you're fuked.