My boyfriend wants an open relationship but I don't.

[Cbrider]

Keep in mind that if you don't agree to it, that he will still see other women.

Honestly, when this question comes up in a relationship, its over. Its a formal way of asking permission to cheat as far as I am concerned.

He sounds like a manipulative douche bag to me.

[aimeetron]

I respect all of your opinions and I have taken them into consideration.

I personally disagree in regards to the fact that he will cheat if I disagree with him doing this. Will he break up with me? Maybe. Cheat? No.

[Heratriumphant]

I gotta say everytime I've seen this issue come up the person seeking an open relationship already has someone on the hook, or at the very least in mind.

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, he's put you in the impossible position of putting up with his shit or forcing you to break up with him. Either is probably fine from his perspective. What an emotional coward.

Don't even break up with him. Just mentally distance yourself and amuse yourself in the time remaining by subtly tormenting him. Be passive-aggressive and send mixed messages. Just like him. Say you aren't sure this open thing is working for you... you want more time to think it over. Meantime, go out and party with your friends. See other guys. When you've had enough, just stop answering his calls altogether and let him figure out that the other shoe dropped ages ago. Or not, he just might be that dumb.

[RonHH]

Listen to all post above mine and you will be better off !!!!
Everything I wanted to say has been said.

[flea]

I respect all of your opinions and I have taken them into consideration.

I personally disagree in regards to the fact that he will cheat if I disagree with him doing this. Will he break up with me? Maybe. Cheat? No.

sorry aimee, but you're being naive...he WILL cheat on you. no matter how well you think you know your man, if he's talking like this (at least he's being honest about what he wants, I suppose) he's already starting to let his attentions wander. I don't think he'll break up with you though, because it'll be good for him to have a girl in reserve when he needs it.

oh, and in response to what you said before....if you're so sure, try what I suggested.

[qwertz]

ok, maybe he wont cheat if you say no, but he will finish it to **** other women.

Both are just as bad.

[QuanSai]

... I haven't agreed I have come up with some conditions. Here they are:

. All outside sex follows safer sex guidelines
. No sex with mutual friends or anyone who lives in your dorm room
. Sexual encounters may only take place when you are at college without me and must not interfere with our customary or planned time together (such as a scheduled time to talk online)
. Sexual encounters are not spoken of.
. No emotional involvement with outside sex partners what-so-ever. If you sleep with anyone else, it’s just supposed to be a fling, a one night stand. You can’t get emotionally attached, and if you do, you have to cut off the chord immediately with that person.
. You need to be beyond honest and clear with anyone you are with. Expressing fully that you are in a serious relationship and that there will be nothing beyond that night.
. You may not have sex with a girl more then one time.
. You must get tested after every partner or before we sleep together
. If at any point I ever become uncomfortable with the open relationship just stop.
. If you learn something new that you like, share it/show it to me. I don’t want you to think that you can only experience new things with someone else. If you want to try something new with me that's fine and if there is something you like let me know.

Although this is an ideal set of guidelines and circumstances to follow, this is unrealistic and will not work. It disregards common patterns in human social dynamics, and it also overlooks the volatility of human emotional interests.

You should consider what might interest him more than you, or what might interest you more than him. This criteria does not push forth consideration of such possible phenomena.

I hope this helps.

[RomantiGoth]

although I am all in for open relationships (or at least non monogamious), I would not advice you to be in a open relationship... especially when you are not living together... I think that it is very good of you to have thought of "rules" and possible issues, which are nessisary in an open relationship... it is healthy to consider... but I would not go there, under these circomstances...

just.. no...

[davidtorres]

I respect all of your opinions and I have taken them into consideration.

I personally disagree in regards to the fact that he will cheat if I disagree with him doing this. Will he break up with me? Maybe. Cheat? No.

stop being a dumbass and dump your guy. theres tons of guys. find a guy that will appreciate you and your exclusiveness in a relationship. if he wants to be a manwhore then let him be but let him drag you along.

[girl68]

Agree with all others.

I do believe open relationships can work if that's what both parties want. This isn't you, you don't want this- he does.

Set him free I doubt he will remain faithful and if he does he will be bitter that he is missing out.