Time to get some practice asking girls out

[Cbrider]

This is probably the most exciting and suspenseful thread in LF history.

[NeoSeminole]

DoesntMatter says:

"OK, big question. I was under the impression I would ask the girl out to dinner upon first meeting her. Am I supposed to get her number first and then call her? I would actually feel more comfortable just asking her to dinner from the get-go, maybe because I don't like talking on phones."

I dunno, man. It feels rushed if you invite a girl out to dinner upon first meeting her. I'm concerned it would send the vibe that you're desperate and looking for an instant girlfriend. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from a middle-aged playboy who was a client of mine. He told me "girls are like crop plants. You have to cultivate them, some longer than others, but the reward pays off in the end." Nabbing yourself a girl isn't something that happens over a few days. It could take weeks or months of flirting and patience.

"I was going to ask her to dinner. Should I ask if she wants to go skiing instead?"

I don't know how much skiing costs, but I imagine it's pricey to rent all the equipment and use the mountain. Don't invite her to go skiing unless you are prepared to pay for the both of you. Honestly, I wouldn't even ask a girl to dinner on the first date. Too much money to spend on a girl you may never see again.

"I imagine that if I asked her out on the fly, dinner would be most appropriate. If I asked for her number and called her later, I take it asking her if she wanted to go skiing would be more appropriate."

try your idea. It might work for all I know. You said you plan to ask out several girls. See if any of them say "yes." If not, you can always switch strategies. That's the fun of experimenting with approaching many girls.

[vashti]

I dunno, neo. Girls can be impulsive and they can appreciate spontaneity. I think if there's a great connection, it would be nice to be asked out right from the start.

[NeoSeminole]

vashti, I agree but knowing how to recognize the perfect opportunity to ask a girl out right from the start comes with experience. This is DoesntMatter we're talking about. My advice is specifically tailored to him. The suggestions I would give to, say, OV or Primo would be different.

[NeoSeminole]

DoesntMatter says:

"1) What should I wear? Pretty much the only pants I have are khakis, although in quite a few different styles of khakis. I also have 1 pair of dark blue khakis. Most of my long sleeve shirts are hoodies, most of them being a plain solid color. I also have college hoodies."

instead of taking all those girls out for dinner, buy yourself some nice jeans, tops, and dress shoes. I personally like to wear Polo's or design tees that are interesting but not over the top. A good place to start is Buckle. Talk to one of the employees, and ask him or her to find what works best for you. They will find you clothes that compliment your frame. You don't have to buy everything they bring you, but it will give you a good idea of what looks hot and you can even throw your own tastes in there.

[starbuck]

I dunno, neo. Girls can be impulsive and they can appreciate spontaneity. I think if there's a great connection, it would be nice to be asked out right from the start.

This is very true. Although I think some of the younger and shyer girls could be intimidated by someone who comes on too strong. With an outgoing girl, spontaneity would probably be well-received. My guess is that he'll have to gauge this depending on the girl and her body language.

Good plan to go to a mall, DM. Approaching the girls when they're at their most euphoric (shopping) is great!

Also, DM why stop at one number? Rack em up baby!

[IndiReloaded]

DoesntMatter says:

"1) What should I wear? Pretty much the only pants I have are khakis, although in quite a few different styles of khakis. I also have 1 pair of dark blue khakis. Most of my long sleeve shirts are hoodies, most of them being a plain solid color. I also have college hoodies."

instead of taking all those girls out for dinner, buy yourself some nice jeans, tops, and dress shoes. I personally like to wear Polo's or design tees that are interesting but not over the top. A good place to start is Buckle. Talk to one of the employees, and ask him or her to find what works best for you. They will find you clothes that compliment your frame. You don't have to buy everything they bring you, but it will give you a good idea of what looks hot and you can even throw your own tastes in there.

I agree. Save your dinner money and buy some new jeans and a long-sleeve quality cotton shirt.

[vashti]

yeah, and please don't make it a polo or one of those dress shirts with the screen printed designs on them. Buckle has nice sweaters, though.

[Only-virgins]

I was gonna contribute maybe but Neo pretty much wrote the entire date book for guys right on this thread. My advice is, if you are drunk...don't pick up the phone!

Also I personally like Express Men if you are looking for clothing. Never really get complaints.

[DoesntMatter]

Alright guys, in about an hour when my dad gets home from work I'll get going out and try my luck!

These last few days I've been looking after my personal hygiene, including brushing my teeth and douching my asshole in case I become suddenly receptive to homosexuals while out and about

I'm also feeling pretty good. I got a great GPA this semester taking 5 math and science classes and doing research. I also confirmed that I am going to be able to shadow my uncle who teaches surgery at one of the best medical schools

I'll be back and tell you how it went in about 6 or so hours

[misombra]

good luck dm! you'll do just fine. you're a good guy and you deserve a good girl.

[lastwish]

Smile. Always smile. It is very attractive.

[DoesntMatter]

Well, I'm back. I didn't get around to as many girls as I planned on. The mall was fuccking hectic, which made it unhelpful to my cause. Anyways, without further ado here are the results-

0/2

1)The first girl I approached was working at a kiosk in the mall for some kind of health club. As I walked toward her, I made eye contact and smiled and asked what she was offering. She started talking about it being some kind of fitness or health club for women, and I just nodded along to what she said. Then I said "Well this doesn't really apply to me then does it? What I really just wanted to know was if you would want to go out to dinner with me sometime this weekend?" I probably turned as red as a tomato when I asked her that. As painful to admit as it is. I wish I had physical control over blushing

Her eyes opened up a little more and so did her mouth, and then she kind of smiled. Her eyes looked away from mine after the question. Then she looked back and said sorry, she has a boyfriend, with kind of a half smile. I used vashti's closing idea of "Well, you can't blame me for trying. Take care."

Then I just left

Truth be told, everything I thought about prior to this, everything I read here, most of it went right out the fuccking window when I made my approach. Not all of it though, I kept full eye contact for instance

----

Next, I was going to ask the girl at the coffee place after I bought something from her for a second time that evening, but I fuccked up before I had the chance when I said "No thank you" to the question of "Is your coffee maker drip or automatic" or some shit like that, and ended up looking like an idiot

----

2) I went to a pharmacy, and spent some time looking over the random shit they sell. Apparently biotin, a particular quinone (Q), a handful of amino acids, and a fuccking acetylated carnitine are sold by the place under the dietary supplements section. Anyways behind the counter is a pharmacist who is a probably 35 year old guy, and a younger girl who is probably a pre-pharmacy student or something

I strike up conversation with the guy because the girl was working in the back behind the counter for the entire fuccking time I was "browsing" their products. I ask him about how much filler shit they put in the pills, asked him about pharmacy school, about some of the random crap they sell, etc. The girl is in the back the whole time. When we are done talking I ask him how old that girl was, and he says around 19. I ask if she is single and he says I can ask her that. I wish I could have been talking to the girl that whole time and not the guy, he should have been stocking the shelves or whatever the fucck it was she was doing

So then I walk to the other side of the counter and ask her if they have any ipecac. She turned to the guy and I say "I already asked him, I thought maybe you knew something he doesn't." Smooth, I know Then she says she isn't sure, and I fumble around saying something I can't even remember and eventually out popped "Yeah I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend." Once it registered what I meant she laughed and smiled and avoided eye contact, and I asked again "Like you want to get dinner sometime this weekend?" She replies that she has a wedding to go to this weekend, and I say something else I can't exactly remember to give her another second for thought (little eye contact from her), and then I again use vashtis line "Well, you can't blame me for trying"

--------------------

It felt good once I asked the first girl, because I had not asked a girl out since like junior year of high school. Although after the second girl, I didn't feel particularly bad right away, just felt like a clumsy idiot because I acted like one

I am going to be participating in a lot of stupid ass activities this break to pad my med school resume. I think spending more time talking to a girl first would be a more workable approach for a social oaf like myself

[starbuck]

DM, kudos for trying man! It was pretty darn gutsy of you to try this, and I'm proud of you.

I am going to be participating in a lot of stupid ass activities this break to pad my med school resume. I think spending more time talking to a girl first would be a more workable approach for a social oaf like myself

I think you really hit on something here (not the social oaf part, but you catch my drift). Do you have any female friends you can practice on? And if you don't, maybe you can make some this semester?

[lastwish]

You would probably have more luck asking girls out in parties, friend's social events, etc than randomly at the mall. But it is still good practice to build confidence even if most girls will say no.