My friend...

[the_robot]

Don't make us all hold you down and kiss you.

lol What? I don't even know how to take that haha

[Incognito]

No one man or woman can speak for an entire gender. With that said I'll relay my feelings, which are pretty much in line with what Vashti and dono01 said. I have never been friends with a woman who I wouldn't have dated. I certainly didn't date all of them, but I would have dated any of them if I got the feeling that they were interested.

Perhaps his breakup made him realize how wonderful of a woman you are. Breakups can be emotinal for all involved (yes even men.....we are human too after all), so maybe he decided to test the limits of your emotional attactment in his "moment of weakness". You might be the only positive influence in his life right now AND you're a woman. I've often said that the only difference between good friends and a relationship is sex, and I firmly believe that. If that's not what you want just tell him and state that you want to forget about it and move on. Hopefully you'll both be able to do that and stay friends. Him being shot down like that will probably discourage him from showing interest in the future, and if you express to him that you are willing to overlook that THIS ONE TIME and are willing to move on he might be comfortable enough to move on too. I'm assuming that he is the kind of guy who can swallow his pride though, if not you may have a problem.

[Gigabitch]

The way I see it, your friendship is permanently compromised. Friends don't ****. He wants to. He's crossed a line.

[dewilliams2]

^^^I have had sex with a few of my friends and thats all we are.

I agree with incognito though I haven't ever been friends with a woman I wouldn't have sex with...but that doesn't mean I have had sex with all of them.

It doesn't have to be weird if you don't want it to be...just tell him straight up you don't want to give up the friendship you have with him.

[Gigabitch]

^^^I have had sex with a few of my friends and thats all we are.

That's what you call it. I maintain that those are NOT friends, those are lovers.

It's very simple: Friends. Don't. ****.

[qwertz]

The way I see it, your friendship is permanently compromised. Friends don't ****. He wants to. He's crossed a line.

I have always said that to friends IRL and people on here.
I really wish he hadnt done it, even if he says it was a mistake i am gonna be self conscious of my actions and things i say around him in the future wondering whether he is reading too much into things i say.
Saying that though, i really hope we can salvage something from this- he means the world to me, i really dont want to lose him from my life.

[qwertz]

And yeh, i dont think he has spent the last 10 years wanting to **** me. There have been PLENTY of opportunities for things to get heated over the years, but it has never happened- because neither of us wanted it to.

[Incognito]

It seems that it is mostly up to you then. If you can/are willing to move past this he probably can/will too. You just have to be crystal clear about what can and cannot be. If he can swallow his pride by staying friends with you even though you refused his advances then there is hope. If all goes will you can simply never mention it again and things will slowly go back to the way they were.

[dewilliams2]

And yeh, i dont think he has spent the last 10 years wanting to **** me. There have been PLENTY of opportunities for things to get heated over the years, but it has never happened- because neither of us wanted it to.

Just cause there have been opportunities doesn't mean he didn't take em cause he didn't want to...there was just something stopping him at the time....probably its cause he knew you just wanted to be friends.

Sounds to me like he finally ballsed up and ya shot him down...I'm guessin he will get over it though.

[Asip4u]

Sorry qwerty but i think this friendship is done. Even if you can somehow go back and be friends again he'll think about the fact he can't have you and it'll be too hard to continue.

[asdfg789]

I just want my friend back

my guess is the messy breakup is affecting him badly. i did some stupid things too when i was trying to deal with a failed relationship. but that phase passed in a few months and i was back to normal. maybe you need to give him a bit of time and he'll come back to his normal self.

i disagree with several posts here though, i think guys CAN be friends with the opposite sex without wanting to get in their pants.

Good luck !!

[Incognito]

Lets not make up the guy's mind for him Asip4u. He may very well be able to move on. Lets let him decide what will or won't be too hard to deal with.

@ Qwerty: All you can do is talk about it to him and try to move on as I said or just dump the friendship as Asip4u proposes. Seeing that you would like to salvage the friendship I see no reason for you not to try to save it and move on.

[Asip4u]

You're right Incognito she knows him best so she should talk to him and he can decide. Knowing the fact most guys will say yes to a friendship in hopes something develops later on is why i said above. Most never really move on they just try to hide it that's all...but yes you're right, it's up to him.

[qwertz]

lol, dm.

Well i spoke to him- he said he was sorry but confused and he wants us to meet tomorrow to 'sort it out'

[Incognito]

Confused? What could possibly be confusing about "I don't want you as anything other than a friend"? I am only assuming that you said something to that effect though. Well see what happens at the "sort out". I hope you can still salvage your friendship since that is what you want.