Should I worry about his new friend?

[Twiz]

Keep in mind I am 17 and my boyfriend is 16...
I saw him today, his mother and his aunt were even was telling him that the situation with this other girl was odd and that this girl is interested in him and then I also told him how I felt about it all and how it made me feel and he genuinely seemed sorry and he didn't want me to feel that way and didn't intend for me to feel that way. He also told me he didn't respond to my text the other day because he didn't want me to get the wrong idea and that he just wants to be her friend, WELL HELLO! IT DID GIVE ME THE WRONG IDEA! But then the whole time I was over his house she was texting him and he kept replying. She texted me a couple times when I was there too. But she texted him things like "give her a hug for me" and how she was scared because we had a tornado watch and also how she wasn't feeling well and was laying in bed. Also she asked if she could have/barrow/wear one of his bracelets. So, of course I was uncomfortable he was texting here while I was there. But when I got home he texted me and said "hey" and then the subject of this girl came up again and once again I told him how it made me feel and he said "I am sorry, you are right. I just want you to be happy and if you don't want me to hang out with her I won't and I won't ever talk to her again"... but me being stupid and not wanting to sound like a bitch I told him that I am not controlling and that I am not going to tell him who he can and cant be friends with... so then he replied with something like "yeah, she and I are just friends and I'll keep it that way. and aww, thanks, that's really sweet, I love you.". So I basically for the next few texts we sent to eachother I rambled on about how it still made me uncomfortable and to which he said "well the next time I hang out with her would you want to come? I obviously wouldn't hang out with her as much as I hang out with you because she's just a friend"... So I then told him I'd of course be more comfortable if I was there too but that wasn't the point, I told him regardless of if he told her that she and him would never become anything more than friends because she would obviously still like him and that hanging out with her could give her the wrong impression and make her more interested in him. It's like at first he grasped that it was odd and weird and then he later saw nothing wrong with it.
It got the the point to where I was telling him I wouldn't meet up with random guys I met because I am already in a relationship and wouldn't see the point of doing so. Then he told me that it wouldn't bother him if I did because he said "I wouldn't care if you had guy friends because it's not like you'd be dating us both at the same time"... HE DOESN'T GET IT. And what's even worse is that my persistant attempts to tell him it was odd and that it bothered me I belive pissed him off because he shut his phone off so my last texts didn't even deliver to him. So he clearly didn't care to wait for my response (I didn't reply until maybe 8 minutes later)... But it hurt me because he always will say good night to me... and even if he was tired he would have prior to this situation said "I am tired, I am going to bed good night" even if I hadn't replied "fast" enough to his last text. So now I don't think I did anything wrong in this situation, I actually feel like how I feel is justified... but now I can't help but to feel completely horrible and like I was the one who messed up :/
But then he is the one that isn't getting it... but then my persistant rambling probably wasn't the best either but I was at least being honest and I was at least truly trying to get him to understand what I meant. We have been dating for 4 months and everything has been so wonderful up until the last couple days. I just really hope this works out

[chump4u]

Oh my god. I am unbelieveably mad right now. I am leaving for my boyfriend's in about an hour and she texted me asking me what I was doing today and I told her I was going to his house and then she asked me "can I come?"... Okay, seriously, who the **** asks if they can tag along with someone if they had already made plans to see their boyfriend ALONE!?

I think fi123 has a point in his first post. If this girl was trying to sneak your boyfriend away, she wouldn't text you to tell you he was with her, or ask to go along with you to visit him. I'd say that she's just anxious to make some new friends, including you. Give the whole thing a little time before you decide that it's not right.

[Twiz]

^ My above post pretty much proves it's too late for that >.<

[chump4u]

Eeek! I didn't read that before I posted my comment. Oh, well, that tears it, doesn't it?

Whatever, my advice stands. Let your boyfriend cool down (he will, probably) and take a deep breath yourself. I'm sure you feel this differently than I see it,
but your biggest problem right now is that you're trying to draw a boundary in your relationship, and your boyfriend can't read the map yet. Take your boundary-setting a bit slower...give him time to absorb the new rules. We guys are only a bunch of badly-shaved apes, after all, and it takes a lot of patience to train one of us.

[Twiz]

I didn't want to come across in that way to him but I basically kept repeating myself and I couldn't help it because that's how I felt and I just also felt like he wasn't fully getting what I was trying to say :/ But I can kind of tell it must have made him angry or frustrated.
But thanks, that's actually pretty reassuring. I think that's what's happening too, he just can't see it in the same way I can or at least not yet. I just think he needs to really think about it all. I already know he will get the 2 texts that didn't deliver since he turned his phone off the next time he will turn it on again and hopefully he will get back to me when he's ready.

[IndiReloaded]

I think fi123 has a point in his first post. If this girl was trying to sneak your boyfriend away, she wouldn't text you to tell you he was with her, or ask to go along with you to visit him. I'd say that she's just anxious to make some new friends, including you. Give the whole thing a little time before you decide that it's not right.

She might if she was trying to make you jealous/insecure. But its unlikely at 16 she's that devious.

[hello1]

Now I know both your ages, I think this is typical teen drama. Also all those guys that cheated on you, you are all very young at the moment and you seem a bit too young to have had multiple boyfriends...hmmmm

[Twiz]

I've had 2 other boyfriends prior to my current relationship so it's not like I have dated a ton of men. I am aware I am young but the relationship I am in now has been the longest I have been with someone so far.
Everything is settled though, I talked to my boyfriend. I told him that I realized she may just intend to be his friend and also if she intended to attempt to be more than friends with him that she also wouldn't be talking to me and asking me to come along too. So it just appears as if she wants to make some new friends. Of course I am still keeping an eye out though and of course it still makes me a little uncomfortable but that's also because I've never met her before so I am pre-judging which isn't entirely fair although how I feel about her I think is somewhat justified. Once I get to know this girl my feelings may change.

Yesterday she asked if I wanted to go swimming tomorrow (which is now today) and she said she also asked my boyfriend. She said that she really hoped that I could make it. So yesterday my boyfriend figured out what time we would all hang out and I was going to go over his house an hour or so before we went to her house so I could leave with him and we planned to go to her house at 12:30. Later that night she texted me and asked me if it would be okay if she and my boyfriend saw a movie together. And I appreciate that she asked me but I replied and said that I would honestly feel more comfortable if I was there too. And then she replied saying "even knowing we are just friends?" so then I figured if I trust my boyfriend enough that if she wants to see a movie with him alone I should trust him not to do anything, I mean of course it wouldn't stop her from trying anything if she intended to but I trust him enough that he would stop talking to her or see that it was wrong and end the "friendship" with her. Plus I have a friend that's a guy and my boyfriend has never met him but then again I have known this friend since I was 9 years old but my boyfriend has said before that he wouldn't mind if I hung out with my friend since I've known him for so long. So it's apparent he trusts me so even if my circumstance is different with how long I've known my guy friend and how he just met this girl I still should give my boyfriend my complete trust. We intended to hang out with this girl today but my boyfriend wasn't feeling well because he has a cold so we all have to figure out another time, which I think is this weekend because he asked if I wanted to hang out with her and him this weekend. But my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go over to his house tomorrow so if he's feeling better I will probably see him.

[IndiReloaded]

Later that night she texted me and asked me if it would be okay if she and my boyfriend saw a movie together. And I appreciate that she asked me but I replied and said that I would honestly feel more comfortable if I was there too. And then she replied saying "even knowing we are just friends?" so then I figured if I trust my boyfriend enough that if she wants to see a movie with him alone I should trust him not to do anything

Don't you think its weird that she is the one texting and asking this and not your BF?

Sorry, but if they went alone together to see a movie then I think this girl does like your BF. Up to you what you want to do about it tho. You should really meet her asap and figure out if she's after him. Its much easier to tell in person.

There's trust and then there's asking for trouble. You should have said yes when she asked the 'just friends' question. That it is inappropriate for them to be going alone (with a group okay).

Anyway, you are young. You'll learn. Good luck.

[Twiz]

I was thinking the same. As much as I trust him and as nice as this girl seems there's still something odd about it. And not just on her behalf but somewhat on his too. I am still uncomfortable about the fact that he never told me he was going to her house when he went there Saturday even if he just wants to make new friends and even if his reasoning was because he didn't want me to get the wrong idea, well... I did get the wrong idea. I think what made that worse is that a few months ago another girl wanted to meet him and he had never met her before either but the first time he met her he told me he was going to hang out with her and he brought me too and told me that he'd never want to hang out with her unless I was there with them (the girl from a couple months ago, not this new one he just met). So to me that was kind of unusual.

And today my boyfriend didn't tell me if she had asked him because he had already gone to bed when she had texted me and asked. My boyfriend has been texting me since this morning and he hasn't mentioned it. I guess I could talk to him personally when I see him next. And I am sure his mother is going to chime in on this all again because she thinks it's all odd. I keep getting confused because I know I can trust him but then on the other hand it's still odd to me but then it's like it seems like she may just lack friends and wants to make more but then seeing how she wants to be alone with my boyfriend regardless if I trust him still makes me REALLY uncomfortable. It'd be different if I had known her before or if I had met her or if he and her had known eachother for a while or prior to being in a relationship with me.
And when I am with him it doesn't seem at all like he is losing interest or doesn't care about me or that it's going down hill between us, he just doesn't have a lot of friends and I am thinking he means well but at the same time I also want him to respect how it's all making me feel.

[hello1]

This is pathetic. They want to go swimming together? see each other bodies. Watch a film alone together! all nice and cosy. No wonder you get cheated on, you ignore all the red flags along the way. Just tell him to not see her again or it is over. Say it makes you feel uncomfortable, you know what girls are like and she's trying to worm her way to your boyfriend. Grow a backbone or you deserve to be cheated on.

[Twiz]

The whole situation is just messed up. She texted me yesterday and asked me if I have any single guy friends that would want to date her. So she's clearly looking for a boyfriend and I think she's one of those girls who doesn't care if someone is in a relationship or not she will just go for them anyway. So she probably is trying to move in on my boyfriend and as much as I trust him I still really need to tell him how it is and that it's weird and makes me uncomfortable regardless if he wants to make new friends. And if he can't understand it or especially still wants to hang out with her after I talk to him in person then I have to consider ending it.

[alwaystryin]

You say a girl added him on facebook, does he not have to send a friend request in order for her to do that? Why did he do that in the first place?

My advice? This is weird, go with your gut, it won't fail you.

[fi123]

The whole situation is just messed up. She texted me yesterday and asked me if I have any single guy friends that would want to date her. So she's clearly looking for a boyfriend and I think she's one of those girls who doesn't care if someone is in a relationship or not she will just go for them anyway. So she probably is trying to move in on my boyfriend and as much as I trust him I still really need to tell him how it is and that it's weird and makes me uncomfortable regardless if he wants to make new friends. And if he can't understand it or especially still wants to hang out with her after I talk to him in person then I have to consider ending it.

I thought this girl had a boyfriend already?

[girl68]

this is what I'd say to my boyfriend whom accepted a friend request from a total random chick: "delete her, I'll watch."