My friend... uhh, "raped me". What now?

[Trishi]

Most decent men would not have used this approach
b/c you enjoyed it cannot be considered rape
it sounds like he has rape fantasies tho
which you need to understand if this relationship is going to change to bf or fwb
so you can say hold it im not comfortable with this no i dont like anal sex or whatever
b/c of his approach element of surpize maybe he knew you would not say no
do you understand what im am saying
most men would have seduced you in to bed
had foreplay let you know what he wants
i would have a talk with him
this does put a whole other dimension to your relationship

No kidding... Well, I'll try have a talk with him later then, see where this goes. *sigh* life just can't be easy, can it? :/ To be young and stupid, I guess...

[MerryH]

If you feel like you were violated, then you were violated. Period. He stepped over some pretty clear boundaries in a really creepy way, and although you didn't say no or fight back harder doesn't make what happened okay. Would I call it rape? I don't know, but you are obviously very uncomfortable with what happened.

It's normal for victims of assault to blame themselves. You're trying to excuse his behavior by thinking that you could have done more to prevent it and that you actually kind of enjoyed it, so you can convince yourself that what happened is okay. It's also common for a victim to start dating the person who violated them, because hey, if he's my boyfriend then it wasn't really a sexual assault, right? What happened to you is not okay and nothing you do now will change that.

You're in school, right? Find out what resources they have for victims of sexual assault and use them. Ignore his existence until you can get some counseling and wrap your head around what happened.

Edit:

b/c you enjoyed it cannot be considered rape

Sorry, but this just isn't true. The body can react to physical stimulus even if you don't want it to. Climax during clear-cut instances of rape are not uncommon.

[qwertz]

This was not rape, you didnt say no and you didnt try and stop him. You also didnt put boundaries in place- like letting him masturbate next to you.

I cant believe you are using the word "rape" its women like you that make it hard for people to believe someone who genuinely has been raped.

Just tell him you are not happy having sexual relations, dont let him jerk himself off next to you and lock the bathroom door. end of.

[Trishi]

If you feel like you were violated, then you were violated. Period. He stepped over some pretty clear boundaries in a really creepy way, and although you didn't say no or fight back harder doesn't make what happened okay. Would I call it rape? I don't know, but you are obviously very uncomfortable with what happened.

It's normal for victims of assault to blame themselves. You're trying to excuse his behavior by thinking that you could have done more to prevent it and that you actually kind of enjoyed it, so you can convince yourself that what happened is okay. It's also common for a victim to start dating the person who violated them, because hey, if he's my boyfriend then it wasn't really a sexual assault, right? What happened to you is not okay and nothing you do now will change that.

You're in school, right? Find out what resources they have for victims of sexual assault and use them. Ignore his existence until you can get some counseling and wrap your head around what happened.

Edit:



Sorry, but this just isn't true. The body can react to physical stimulus even if you don't want it to. Climax during clear-cut instances of rape are not uncommon.

I'll try look into it... just, living together with him makes it hard to ignore him. I'll see how things turn out, and hope for a good resolution... or at least, letting things return to normal, the way it were... Ah, and... I don't exactly have anyone to turn to, either. Someone mentioned my parents / upbringing - Yeah, my parents sucked at that. Grew up with nothing but a drunk father. Not someone I want to return to.

Stop repeating the same thing about my usage of "rape" over and over again, please... I'm aware I didn't resist, and regardless of why I didn't is pretty useless. He can't read my mind, so how would he know what I was thinking? He couldn't. I'm not certain how well it applies to me, but I know for a fact, that some legit rape-victims were so paralysed with fear, that they couldn't resist, despite wanting to. I'm not certain I was "afraid" of him, probably more like... surprised. It happened too fast, and in such an odd way... Either way, it would kill me to lose this guy as a friend, and even more so to get him arrested. On a positive note, he can't have made me pregnant from his... uhh, surprise. Perhaps I should start taking my pills again...

[MerryH]

Stop repeating the same thing about my usage of "rape" over and over again, please..

If you were referring to me when you wrote this, I think you misunderstood my post.

[sweetkissesforu]

If you feel like you were violated, then you were violated. Period. He stepped over some pretty clear boundaries in a really creepy way, and although you didn't say no or fight back harder doesn't make what happened okay. Would I call it rape? I don't know, but you are obviously very uncomfortable with what happened.

It's normal for victims of assault to blame themselves. You're trying to excuse his behavior by thinking that you could have done more to prevent it and that you actually kind of enjoyed it, so you can convince yourself that what happened is okay. It's also common for a victim to start dating the person who violated them, because hey, if he's my boyfriend then it wasn't really a sexual assault, right? What happened to you is not okay and nothing you do now will change that.

You're in school, right? Find out what resources they have for victims of sexual assault and use them. Ignore his existence until you can get some counseling and wrap your head around what happened.

Edit:



Sorry, but this just isn't true. The body can react to physical stimulus even if you don't want it to. Climax during clear-cut instances of rape are not uncommon.

I am sorry to the poster but i never even thought of that very good points

[sweetkissesforu]

I'll try look into it... just, living together with him makes it hard to ignore him. I'll see how things turn out, and hope for a good resolution... or at least, letting things return to normal, the way it were... Ah, and... I don't exactly have anyone to turn to, either. Someone mentioned my parents / upbringing - Yeah, my parents sucked at that. Grew up with nothing but a drunk father. Not someone I want to return to.

Stop repeating the same thing about my usage of "rape" over and over again, please... I'm aware I didn't resist, and regardless of why I didn't is pretty useless. He can't read my mind, so how would he know what I was thinking? He couldn't. I'm not certain how well it applies to me, but I know for a fact, that some legit rape-victims were so paralysed with fear, that they couldn't resist, despite wanting to. I'm not certain I was "afraid" of him, probably more like... surprised. It happened too fast, and in such an odd way... Either way, it would kill me to lose this guy as a friend, and even more so to get him arrested. On a positive note, he can't have made me pregnant from his... uhh, surprise. Perhaps I should start taking my pills again...

like i sais this is why the talk is sooooooo very important that he does not get away with this and this could stem from your up bringing the inability to say no

[Trishi]

If you were referring to me when you wrote this, I think you misunderstood my post.

Not at all. Qwerts.

Other than that, thanks for the responses people... I'm grateful for it, I really am. Thanks a lot. I'll look into it, and try talking to him, and possibly some of the counselors at school, and hope to see if I can figure something out here... Once again, thanks.

[Kaius]

I hope this is not a troll because it's just too good! No this is not a rape, but is it possible that you can cum during an attack due to biological response? I've seen porn where the girl is absolutely fighting for her life, and eventually enjoying the intercourse because it was so good. She would have multiple orgasms, and then swallow his cum. I guess if the rapist were skilled enough, he can get free sex anywhere.
Now I have to ask, did he use a condom, or did he cum inside your ass? This is important because if he had a condom, it was pre-planned. If he was bareback, that means he was totally into the moment without thinking.
Either way, this is mighty hot stuff. You guys Japanese? What kind of Hentai manga do you enjoy?

[MerryH]

Kaius? Are you getting off on this girl's traumatic experience? Kindly **** off back to your own thread where you take it up the ass from your girlfriend.

[Dan555]

Well, it is certainly distasteful to start sex in that way. . . But I see it this way: Attending to his "dominant male" attitude, I'd say that watching excessive pornography on the internet caused him to have some strangely perverted fantasies, and obviously he thought that the best option for carrying his fantasies was his lifetime long friend. And since you have such a strong bond with him, you didn't even attempt to stop him since you'd probably already subconsciously developed feelings towards him, and therefore no rape was involved. I believe that he would agree going into a serious relationship with you, even if it were initially for the sexual benefits, and parting from there develop serious emotions towards you. If you believe you feel something for him, enjoyed the lovemaking and see yourself in a relationship with him, then I'd say go for it.

[sookie6]

I hope this is not a troll because it's just too good! No this is not a rape, but is it possible that you can cum during an attack due to biological response? I've seen porn where the girl is absolutely fighting for her life, and eventually enjoying the intercourse because it was so good. She would have multiple orgasms, and then swallow his cum. I guess if the rapist were skilled enough, he can get free sex anywhere.
Now I have to ask, did he use a condom, or did he cum inside your ass? This is important because if he had a condom, it was pre-planned. If he was bareback, that means he was totally into the moment without thinking.
Either way, this is mighty hot stuff. You guys Japanese? What kind of Hentai manga do you enjoy?

Kaius I'll break it to you okay?

Your fiancee would not mind anal sex...but she is saving herself for marriage because she knows perfectly well that if she gives you everything you want now you might back off on the wedding issue...it's like she is still an anal virgin and it's turning you on to think about this forbidden territory of hers...

My bet is she's already had anal ex in the past...not with you of course...

Apart from that I'm beginning to dislike you Kaius...you and your obsession over anal sex and your sinister presence on this thread...let's assume for a minute that the OP's situation is genuine and that she is genuinely confused and uneasy about what's happened...what business have you got being here and asking these dirty questions...should you not be busy giving a facial to your fiancee???

[sweetkissesforu]

Kaius I'll break it to you okay?

Your fiancee would not mind anal sex...but she is saving herself for marriage because she knows perfectly well that if she gives you everything you want now you might back off on the wedding issue...it's like she is still an anal virgin and it's turning you on to think about this forbidden territory of hers...

My bet is she's already had anal ex in the past...not with you of course...

Apart from that I'm beginning to dislike you Kaius...you and your obsession over anal sex and your sinister presence on this thread...let's assume for a minute that the OP's situation is genuine and that she is genuinely confused and uneasy about what's happened...what business have you got being here and asking these dirty questions...should you not be busy giving a facial to your fiancee???

Ps make sure you have your credit card in hand

[Kaius]

Kaius I'll break it to you okay?

Your fiancee would not mind anal sex...but she is saving herself for marriage because she knows perfectly well that if she gives you everything you want now you might back off on the wedding issue...it's like she is still an anal virgin and it's turning you on to think about this forbidden territory of hers...

My bet is she's already had anal ex in the past...not with you of course...

Apart from that I'm beginning to dislike you Kaius...you and your obsession over anal sex and your sinister presence on this thread...let's assume for a minute that the OP's situation is genuine and that she is genuinely confused and uneasy about what's happened...what business have you got being here and asking these dirty questions...should you not be busy giving a facial to your fiancee???

Oh gosh why are you guys so mean about everything? What's with the personal attacks???? If this were a traumatic situation, the Op would have contacted police instead of feeling sexually satisfied after the incident.
No I am not obsessed over the anal thing. To me it's not a big deal. My fiancee doesn't want anal because she has a phobia against anything butt-related. So no, she has never had anal sex...that is for certain.
Now why would she think I would back out of wedding if I got anal? It has nothing to do with anything. It's not like I would lose interest after I conquered her. That's what young boys do, not men.

[MerryH]

Oh gosh why are you guys so mean about everything? What's with the personal attacks???? If this were a traumatic situation, the Op would have contacted police instead of feeling sexually satisfied after the incident.

Your comments in this thread were so perverse and inappropriate that you deserve whatever backlash you get.

Edit: I mean, look at this:

Either way, this is mighty hot stuff. You guys Japanese? What kind of Hentai manga do you enjoy?

Sexual assault? SO HOT! Tell me more about the manga.

You're disgusting.