Why is love so complicated

[King Zarathu]

Love is NOTHING but a chemical reaction that goes in your brain. Guess who triggered that reaction? You did. Your thoughts did it.

He is cute, smart, sensitive, just.. perfect.

Hmmm... what did that trigger? Love, probably.

That ****er is so gay! Ugh! I wish he would die

Hmmm... what did that trigger? Hate, probably.



Your thoughts do so much. It has been scientifically proven that your thoughts affect the molecular shape of water. If that's what they do to WATER that is around you, imagine what they can do to yourself.

[val]

Thanks for nice words Sparkey, but i am so sad every evening, and specially now when living alone, every morning waking up is so sad. :-(

[blackiesharley]

What Sparky said, but let me share something that happened to me lately....

On one of my rare excursions into the 'real world' one recent night, I decided to drop by my favorite resturant/nightclub for a drink. I've been going there for 20 years so I'm comfortable walking in alone, always somebody I know there.

Sure enough the owner, an 85 year old man (Think Don Corelone. When I was having a problem getting a home loan a few years ago, he said 'don't worry about it, I'll make a call. I got the loan the next day.) who works every night ("it ain't work if you enjoy it") was sitting on the patio and invited me to join him. "Have some wine and a cigar, kid, on the house. So I heard you're diviorced. any kids?" No. "That's good, then f**k it, plenty of girls here. Next month, I'm celebrating my 60 year anniversary with (his wifes name) and I love her as much now as I did the day we met." I saw him tearing up a bit.

I had to ask "How the hell do you do it? 60 years? My parents were together for fifty years until my Dad passed." He was happy to answer. "It's all too easy now for people your age. Everything, even people are disposible these days. I serve quailty food here on china and silverware at a reasonable price but most people would rather go to McDonalds. Same thing in relationships." He went on to say that he had to sweep streets in Chicago during the depression to put soup on the table for their three kids. Fought in WWII. Came home to his wife and worked hard together to build a small empire of clubs and resturants. "You commit kid, and (slamming his fist on the table) you HONOR that commitment. But nobody takes the bad with the good anymore, it ain't like the old days, people are too fast to run when the going gets tough. Hell, most people your age don't know what tough is. Nothing at all wrong with you, you were just born at the wrong time. Now finish your wine and go inside and find yourself a girl."

60 years.... 50 years... He's right, we were born at the wrong time.

[val]

This scares me. Worst that it is probably truth.

[blackiesharley]

And Val...

I coundn't agree more. I have a great place in a fun part of town as well as the means to go out often, but I don't have the motivation. Living alone, it's really weird and it sucks. No one to share a movie or music with, talk about news events, order deliverly food for dinner, have a glass of wine, etc. I feel like I'm in a void.

I've lived in this new place for two months now and still haven't even set up the kitchen. Who am I gonna cook for? Stauffers Frozen Food stock has gone up. LOL.

And the bed? Cold and lonely, especially on a rainy night or morning. I'm not refering to sex, 'making love' can be something as gentle as hearing your partner snore knowing they're there or feeling their foot against your leg at 3am.

It IS sad. I'm a great guy with a lot of love to give but ???? The only thing that keeps me going is knowing, in my heart of hearts, that there's a girl for me, probably within a ten mile radius of my home that's sitting alone like me, longing for the same thing. I just haven't met her quite yet.....

Thanks for nice words Sparkey, but i am so sad every evening, and specially now when living alone, every morning waking up is so sad. :-(

[val]

I know i am not only sad human on this planet, that is sad.
would you drop me mail sometimes?

[Fishy]

Your thoughts do so much. It has been scientifically proven that your thoughts affect the molecular shape of water. If that's what they do to WATER that is around you, imagine what they can do to yourself.

Care to support that claim?

[FemmeFatale]

So many people claim to be in love, then when things start to change at about 6 months, they claim they are falling out of love. Sorry, but that is when LOVE is first starting to build. Unfortunately most people quit at that point, looking for the passionate feelings, the lusting and longing, the "everything is great, he/she is perfect fantasy."

I think you're right and wrong about this. If it's true love, then people won't fall out of love at around 6 months. I'm just as in love with my fiance as I was at the very beginning... even moreso. And that was over 2 years ago. It's not quite what you describe as 'lusting' but the longing and the attitude that 'he is pefect' is still there. Yes, there have been tough times, but that's just the normal part of a relationship.

Val, I've always found that it's easier to find love when you can be perfectly happy single.

[sparkey]

I think you're right and wrong about this. If it's true love, then people won't fall out of love at around 6 months. I'm just as in love with my fiance as I was at the very beginning... even moreso. And that was over 2 years ago. It's not quite what you describe as 'lusting' but the longing and the attitude that 'he is pefect' is still there. Yes, there have been tough times, but that's just the normal part of a relationship.

Val, I've always found that it's easier to find love when you can be perfectly happy single.

There is the "he/she is perfect for me" when you know he might lay clothes lay around sometimes or she might snore or etc., etc. The other perfect is the "He/SHe is PERFECT and has no faults" That is the dangerous perfect because that perfect does not exist. Also, I agree, when you are perfectly happy being single, that is when you meet someone.

WHat is the most unattractive quality a person can portray ?

NEEDINESS. When you think that another person NEEDS you to make them happy, that is a huge burden and is scary.

cartoonsilly is my yahoo ID. Feel free to drop in if you want to chat.

[val]

FemmeFatale: but i cannot be happy alone :-(

[Junket]

FemmeFatale: but i cannot be happy alone :-(

I hear that, but I've gotten by these 18 years...I'm sure I could last the rest of my life if it came to that. For me, there's more to life than just love.

[FemmeFatale]

FemmeFatale: but i cannot be happy alone :-(

Well you'll have to learn to. Go out and do things you enjoy. Sitting around moping won't get you anywhere. Having your happiness depend completely on another person is quite a burden. I have never found someone when I was depressed being single.

[val]

You are maybe right, but now with vision of sad x-mass i have no mood to do anything. I will try to.

[Jenrick285]

Xmas isn't ment to be sad....
Love will prolly hit you like a truck when you least expect it Val.

[val]

Thanks for the comment. Now i can stay in my flat and be sad alone, or i can go to my parents house and look how everybody is happy except me. Maybe i will go to another holiday and take some photos, drive that cute wrangler and sleeping on balcony.