long distance secret-keeping...please help!

[VincenzoG91]

Your math is off. Using your numbers, he should have $265 per month left over for random expenses.

Still, $400 a month for groceries for one human being seems like a lot. Is he shopping at Whole (paycheck) Foods and buying lots of meat?

[reeba]

you missed

car insurance,
health insurance,
i wish my water/sewer/trash was only $30/month,
$100 in taxes is probably just state taxes - where is federal/SSN/medicare,
clothes, shoes, socks
some sort of entertainment - hobby, bars, movies......
misc expenses - car repair, doc/dentist, car registration/emmissions, internet/cable
and lets not forget the cost of the visits

Everyone on this site is telling you that HE IS BROKE!!!! And all you keep saying is....he is irresponsible, and there is no way he can be broke.

Before you go talking to him, you need to OPEN your mind and write down YOUR expenses. I'm assuming you don't live at home and/or the rents aren't picking up your tab still, thus have anl idea what the real world is like. Now out of your expenses, what can you cross off to make it possible for you to live on $30,000?

I'm starting to believe either you -
are mathematically challenged and probably pretty irresponsible yourself when it comes to finances (since you can't grasp what we are telling you, that $30,000 is not enough)
are very stubborn (everyone is telling you that $30,000 is not much money, and you keep saying we are all wrong)
and you are just going to piss him off when you start giving him suggestions on how to correct it (first you need to understand he is BROKE because he isn't making enough $, NOT because he is irresponsible)

[VincenzoG91]

Reeba, don't you find $100 a week just for groceries to be a excessive for one person? With some effort, I could feed a family of four on $100 a week.

[reeba]

I probalby spend $40 a week on groceries, hit a fast food place once a week, and have an inexpensive sit down once a week. Add it together I'm probably at around $60 a week.

It all depends on how often someone eats out and what they eat (organic, meat, fish, deli prepared foods.......)

If I had to, I probably can feed myself on less than $40/week, but eating right/healthy is not a cheap endevor. And eating a great meal make me very very content.

My guess that she came up with $400/month for groceries is that she still lives at home OR she eats out alot.

[reeba]

I probalby spend $40 a week on groceries, hit a fast food place once a week, and have an inexpensive sit down once a week. Add it together I'm probably at around $60 a week.

It all depends on how often someone eats out and what they eat (organic, meat, fish, deli prepared foods.......)

If I had to, I probably can feed myself on less than $40/week, but eating right/healthy is not a cheap endevor. And eating a great meal make me very very content. And eating poorly makes me depressed.

My guess that she came up with $400/month for groceries is that she still lives at home OR she eats out alot.

[sixlets0706]

Ok...from the start, the money was one of many details in this problem. I was kinda hoping people here might help with some of the other things mentioned, but perhaps people didn't notice those things, or just got sidetracked on fixing the immediate future problem of money.
for the record, reeba, i actually do have my expenses written down as i'm not so immature as to not have a budget for myself. i also at one point helped him set up his budget a few months back, which is how I know most of his approximate expenses. many of the things you listed i did not miss, as his family still pays a number of insurance costs, etc.
however, these things are kind of pointless now, as i finally figured out what is going on. there was indeed another girl involved - it would be her who sent me the strange email. shes VERY possessive apparently, and pretty tech savvy to know about temporary emails, finding me and tracing the IP of my posts, etc. She knew about my existence from him, but was wanting to split us up. So, he and I are taking a nice, LONG break (**coughcough** we're through), and hopefully he'll figure out exactly what he wants, or already has. I'll just sit here and ponder why men have to be so stupid most of the time, and string along girls unnecessarily.
I thank all of you for your advice, even if it was mostly sidetracked into solely monetary concerns.