is she just confused? I am too :(

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 01:26 AM

hence the dilemma.... like i said i dont think shes hung up on him, but she loves his kid and the fact that she went from being engaged to not in the matter of a few weeks... she was gonna marry this guy and im sure she dreamed of a future that will never happen... shes in a bad place and is im sure confused and vulnerable.. and like she said needs space..

I think this situation is a unique one, hence the issues with dealing with it.
If she said I dont have feelings for you or I just like you as a friend, I would be able to just let it go.. But the fact that she does have feelings for me but cant handle all the crap shes had to go through is what makes this sooooooo hard.

**deepika_16** · 13-05-11, 01:55 AM

7 years of relationship is not a joke. Though she is dating you but there is still some feelings left for her ex. It is not so easy to forget someone with whom you had a relationship for 7 years. Give her some time and ask her what does she want to do . If she wants to be with you then tell her to forget her past because the more she will remember her past the more there will be distance between both of you.

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 02:01 AM

7 months not years.. and we are no longer dating....

**smackie9** · 13-05-11, 03:10 AM

Don't always believe what they tell you. When someone is freshly out of a relatiohsip like hers, she is vulnerable, in shock, hurt, lonely and sticken with fear or uncertainty.....they seek out comfort and a escape, YOU. She may have feels but not the right ones. This a rebound you will have to face. She pushed away because she is questioning her feelings......she in not in a good place and doesn't know what she wants.

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 03:54 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

Don't always believe what they tell you. When someone is freshly out of a relatiohsip like hers, she is vulnerable, in shock, hurt, lonely and sticken with fear or uncertainty.....they seek out comfort and a escape, YOU. She may have feels but not the right ones. This a rebound you will have to face. She pushed away because she is questioning her feelings......she in not in a good place and doesn't know what she wants.

I agree.. but like you said she doesnt know what she wants.. she will have to come to the realization on her own.. me begging or pleading gets me nowhere.

**IndiReloaded** · 13-05-11, 05:53 AM

Send her a card congratulating her on her graduation. Don't go unless you've been explicitly asked AFTER your breakup. She will contact you if she is ready.

Frankly, tho, her ex sounds like a loser so I don't really believe she is rebounding from him. Which again, is why I advise to send a polite card and then see what happens.

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 05:59 AM

well i mentioned when we were talking about the breakup.. i made a joke of it and said "i guess im not going to your graduation huh." lol im not gonna get her a card.. if anything ill send her a text.. but i dont think im gonna do that either.

**IndiReloaded** · 13-05-11, 06:02 AM

Send the card. Its classy and will keep the door open for future interactions. Why burn bridges you don't need to? Neither of you are horrible, evil people are you?

This is just as true for personal relationships as other kinds (work, etc.)

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 06:29 AM

yeah but I dont want to make myself look clingy/needy/desperate... Wouldnt anything more than a "congrats on your graduation" text do that? Neither of us are horrible no.. but I want to get back with her, not be friends.. at least right now.

**IndiReloaded** · 13-05-11, 06:32 AM

Possibly. I guess I'm from a different generation. IMO, a text would be for an acquaintance or a casual date. If I had actually been in a relationship for several months, I would think I could extend myself enough to get an actual card.

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 06:33 AM

I contemplated flowers... but thats just me being a hopeless romantic... and i tend to find nobody appreciates them (she would.. but its too much no?) Now i have no idea what im gonna do.. lol

**IndiReloaded** · 13-05-11, 06:33 AM

Flowers are too overtly romantic. How long were you together for, I couldn't see it in your OP.

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 06:43 AM

not that long. couple months... yeah flowers are a bad idea, i think a card may be too much too

**IndiReloaded** · 13-05-11, 06:52 AM

Well, that's really just a few weeks. So, you are probably right about the txt. All you are really trying to do is keep the door open in any case. Its not like you two are hugely attached at this point (I hope).

**DarkHelmet82** · 13-05-11, 07:00 AM

theres more to this than was posted as it is rather long, im not sure if you read all the threads or not... but I just dont want her to think i JUST want to be friends.. thats all... thanks for your help too

to be honest im afraid I wont get a positive response... thats all.. she did text me the day after the breakup look for a shirt i didnt have.. i could very well be reading waaay too much into that tho

Thread: is she just confused? I am too :(

Thread Tools

Similar Threads

Personal dilemma..shes confused and now im confused.

Posting Permissions