Should i give my girlfriend another chance?

[HeartIsAching]

Thats all i really needed to know, if she should've lied to me or not, i hate LIES and LIARS

you don't lie to someone you love

You don't treat someone you love the way you treat her. She's not a possession, she's a human being. I pity her.

[HeartIsAching]

Piece of advice - most emotional abusers eventually resort to physical violence. You're going to wind up in jail, and have to do domestic violence intervention classes anyway... I tell you this from personal experience. I've been there to some degree, though I was NEVER as bad off as you, and jail ISN'T fun.

So why not launch a pre-emptive strike and get help before that happens?

[Alan Guillermo]

Get help. Now. This reaction is not normal, how you are is not normal, and you are hurting this poor girl.

You do NOT do that to someone YOU love. You're much, much, much worse in this scenario, and you keep concentrating on her. Stop.

I just can't believe she LIED to me, thats why. after 2 years.. i just honestly picture all the times weve cuddled in bed and all the times shes told me "i would never lie to you babe" "

But if you guys agree and feel like she really didn't make a huge mistake by lying to me.. then i accept that. And i think you guys have a point.. and i really do need help.. but just being on these boards really calm down, you guys really knocked some sense into me..

Sometimes people tell very serious lies to cover up really bad behavior, like cheating on a boyfriend.

Sometimes people tell little white lies that help smooth over slightly awkward situations. "No, that dress doesn't make you look fat."

Sometimes people tell lies to avoid dealing with a problem. The lies aren't serious, but they really aren't ready to face the problem yet. I think that's the situation here. The problem is that your jealousy is so bad that it's going to be constantly interfere with your happiness in any relationship. From what you have described, I seriously doubt that she was doing anything shady with these guys, she just wanted to do something sociable with a group of people that included her sister and some male friends. But she is so worried about your extreme jealousy that she would rather lie about it than confront your irrational outlook. This will eventually lead to trouble anyway, because it's not going to work out for you two. She is a woman who has some male friends, and you're a jealous guy. One of you will either need to change a lot, or there will be trouble, and since you're the unreasonable one, it should be you.

I belive my Gf when she says she has never cheated on me..

But i totally get your point, She has a LIFE, she has friends, male friends, and i know its normal and natural..
I just wished i could get that in my head, i think its from my previous EX who ended being a HUGE liar.. and i MEAN HUGE!!! from lying about her virginity to what she was doing and stuff.. after that i really find it impossible to trust anyone.. i feel like most girls are the same and it sucks

I know i need to change, for the better, or i wont ever be happy

i mean i will admit when i hang out with my guy friends hanging out their are girls there, and for the most part their my friends and i do talk to them...

Im sure she had no harm in lying, she just wanted to keep me happy and keep me from getting out of control and what not

but im sure weve all been there with the lying... it just SUCKS being lied to, to me the worst thing is having the one you love MOST lie to you. Its tragic. seriously... its the worst pain i feel i can go through, i honestly rather break my damn arm again then to be lied to by my love.. but i guess i forced it upon myself, treating her how i did, and being controlling...

You don't treat someone you love the way you treat her. She's not a possession, she's a human being. I pity her.

The only time were fighting is if its about guys seriously, other than that then were always happy together, i know shes not a possession, but i just want her all to myself. I love her

[HeartIsAching]

I just can't believe she LIED to me, thats why. after 2 years.. i just honestly picture all the times weve cuddled in bed and all the times shes told me "i would never lie to you babe" "

But if you guys agree and feel like she really didn't make a huge mistake by lying to me.. then i accept that. And i think you guys have a point.. and i really do need help.. but just being on these boards really calm down, you guys really knocked some sense into me..




I belive my Gf when she says she has never cheated on me..

But i totally get your point, She has a LIFE, she has friends, male friends, and i know its normal and natural..
I just wished i could get that in my head, i think its from my previous EX who ended being a HUGE liar.. and i MEAN HUGE!!! from lying about her virginity to what she was doing and stuff.. after that i really find it impossible to trust anyone.. i feel like most girls are the same and it sucks

I know i need to change, for the better, or i wont ever be happy

i mean i will admit when i hang out with my guy friends hanging out their are girls there, and for the most part their my friends and i do talk to them...

Im sure she had no harm in lying, she just wanted to keep me happy and keep me from getting out of control and what not

but im sure weve all been there with the lying... it just SUCKS being lied to, to me the worst thing is having the one you love MOST lie to you. Its tragic. seriously... its the worst pain i feel i can go through, i honestly rather break my damn arm again then to be lied to by my love.. but i guess i forced it upon myself, treating her how i did, and being controlling...





The only time were fighting is if its about guys seriously, other than that then were always happy together, i know shes not a possession, but i just want her all to myself. I love her

No you don't. You believe you possess her. You believe you have the right to control her. You believe that your insecurities are a reason to mistreat her. You DON'T love her, you possess her.

[HeartIsAching]

The only time were fighting is if its about guys seriously, other than that then were always happy together, i know shes not a possession, but i just want her all to myself. I love her

Do you even hear yourself? That sentence right there translates as "See what you made me do?"

[Alan Guillermo]

Do you even hear yourself? That sentence right there translates as "See what you made me do?"

Okay i get it. so I need to learn to let her be with guy friends and associate with them, because its normal

and no i don't believe i possess her, if i possessed her i would be telling her what to do everytime! its not like i tell her what to eat, what to wear, what music to listen to, none of that. my only problem is dealing with other guys, and i am working on that

i mistreated her a few times because she lied to me

[HeartIsAching]

Okay i get it. so I need to learn to let her be with guy friends and associate with them, because its normal

and no i don't believe i possess her, if i possessed her i would be telling her what to do everytime! its not like i tell her what to eat, what to wear, what music to listen to, none of that. my only problem is dealing with other guys, and i am working on that

i mistreated her a few times because she lied to me

You mistreated her because you're an abusive asshole. Stop blaming her.

Your every sentence highlights your belief in your ownership of her. You believe you have the right to go through her phone, her email and her facebook. You continually deny you're abusive, blame your abuse on her, and minimize your abuse of her. **** me, I can't say it any clearer, YOU NEED HELP.

[Alan Guillermo]

How can i stop blaming her honestly when she lied to me. Im trying to but its hard. It takes time, and its only been about a week, 2 tops..

[IndiReloaded]

You should break up with her. Not because she did anything wrong, but because you are not yet capable of handling a relationship. Apologize and let her go.

Can't have love without trust, and you have some serious trust issues.

This. You are out of control. I'm amazed she hasn't broken off with you yet. Don't freak out and stalk her when she does, okay?

[HeartIsAching]

How can i stop blaming her honestly when she lied to me. Im trying to but its hard. It takes time, and its only been about a week, 2 tops..

She MADE YOU do nothing. Your abusive behavior is in no way shape or form HER FAULT. It's yours. Own that. What she did is irrelevant to the wrong reaction you had.

[Alan Guillermo]

I mean are there no guys here who have remorse for me? she lied to me. Twice. Once in my Face even after she swore on her baby brothers life ( probably crossed her fingers shit.)

I have never acted like this in front of her until i caught her lying in person!!

i told her to tell me everything the truth and all, but she didnt until afterwards.. after she got caught..

[IndiReloaded]

Well, the lying sucks. Its wrong, yes. Do you feel your response was appropriate to the situation?

[HeartIsAching]

I mean are there no guys here who have remorse for me? she lied to me. Twice. Once in my Face even after she swore on her baby brothers life ( probably crossed her fingers shit.)

I have never acted like this in front of her until i caught her lying in person!!

i told her to tell me everything the truth and all, but she didnt until afterwards.. after she got caught..

Are you stoned, or just stupid?

[Alan Guillermo]

Well a few days before that like i said i made her swear she was telling me the truth i just wanted to know everything at once and it would be just so much better if she told me the truth.. But she didn't it might have been because she knew that i knew that they went out for about a week or so a long time ago and they kissed once.. And she thought i would get even more mad since hed like her before..

or maybe she just lied because is just a liar overall and lies to cover up lies


or she lies to keep me from getting mad and what not

i dont know

its hard to decide

i guess ill never know..

[Alan Guillermo]

Are you stoned, or just stupid?

I don't even know why you responding your not being much help, you refuse to put yours self in my shoes for one second.. just think all that over reacting and cussing and punching the wall started after i found out she lied ok!

she went on HER OWN WILL to delete her damn facebook ok it was not even my idea, i wasn't even aware she deleted until she told me, same thing for deleting all her male contacts, that was all her choice, i never told her to do that once..

how would you react if you caught your loved one lying to you again after you begged them for the complete truth.. even if she had no intentions in hurting me.. it still sucks