should i give him another chance?????

[joanne10]

Im very confused and dont know what to do. I have been split with my bf now for nearly a year, we had an on/off long distance relationship for 5 years. I couldnt trust him he was a womaniser i never had any proof that he had actually slept with anyone but he was in contact with alot of women behind my back (ie) exes,girls off the internet and people he had met online and through his work and they thought he was single, i had got in touch with a few of them.

He was also paranoid himself about me and was also aggressive, He would cause arguments at times with me and get violent there has been a couple of times its been bad, but also we have had a lot of good times together and have really got on and he has been good to me but at times he has disrespected my children in the way he has spoken to them and we have argued about it but hes also been good to them.

We split the last time because i found out he had been chatting to some woman from work and doing favours for her and i was really unappy about it and just thought she was just like the others in the past and i refused to see him. We were arguing for days and he turned round and threatend to come down and kill me and it freaked me out and i went to the police, he was arrested and then let off and since then i havent seen him but hes still in contact with me on the phone and wants me to meet him for a drink. He says that we have both made mistakes in the past and that i have been very disrespectfull with him by the way i have spoken to him and that i called the police on him just to f@@k him up but that is not the case.

after all the things he as done to me in the pass it made me bitter to him when i spoke to him im just so angry at his paranoia and the way he has treated me and spoken to the kids i didnt want to talk to him nasty but that is the way he has made me and i cant help it. Even now when he calls me we will be getting on fine on the phone then when something in the past comes up my anger comes out at him and i start swearing and i dont mean to.

I do miss him and our times together and would like to meet up with him and talk but my problem now is all my friends and family are telling me to stay away from him and also my kids tell me they dont like him either and dont want me to get back with him so i dont know what to do now. plus i cant get rid of him either hes always there and i still love him and if i did say to him thats it im not seeing you again i fear he will turn nasty again. i am scared of his anger i wish he would get it sorted out because he can be a really nice guy and that spoils him but he doesnt thing he has ever done anything wrong so what do i do????

[sparkle_jello]

Your friends and family should have your best interests at heart, trust them.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Yes, i agree with the post above me. His not in ur home now and not with ur kids. So, keep it that way. ya? And go and take self defence class or stay ur family for d time being if ur scared. gl

[Agape]

Im very confused and dont know what to do. I have been split with my bf now for nearly a year, we had an on/off long distance relationship for 5 years. 1) I couldnt trust him he was a womaniser i never had any proof that he had actually slept with anyone but he was in contact with alot of women behind my back (ie) exes,girls off the internet and people he had met online and through his work (/1) 2) and they thought he was single, i had got in touch with a few of them. (/2)

3) He was also paranoid himself about me and was also aggressive, He would cause arguments at times with me and get violent there has been a couple of times its been bad, but also we have had a lot of good times together and have really got on and he has been good to me but at times 4) he has disrespected my children in the way he has spoken to them and we have argued about it but hes also been good to them.

5) We split the last time because i found out he had been chatting to some woman from work and doing favours for her and i was really unappy about it and just thought she was just like the others in the past and i refused to see him. We were arguing for days and he turned round and threatend to come down and kill me and it freaked me out and i went to the police, he was arrested and then let off and since then i havent seen him but hes still in contact with me on the phone and wants me to meet him for a drink. He says that we have both made mistakes in the past and that i have been very disrespectfull with him by the way i have spoken to him and that i called the police on him just to f@@k him up but that is not the case. (/5)

6) after all the things he as done to me in the pass it made me bitter to him when i spoke to him im just so angry at his paranoia and the way he has treated me and spoken to the kids i didnt want to talk to him nasty but that is the way he has made me and i cant help it. Even now when he calls me we will be getting on fine on the phone then when something in the past comes up my anger comes out at him and i start swearing and i dont mean to.

I do miss him and our times together and would like to meet up with him and talk but my problem now is all my friends and family are telling me to stay away from him and also my kids tell me they dont like him either and dont want me to get back with him so i dont know what to do now. plus i cant get rid of him either hes always there and i still love him and if i did say to him thats it im not seeing you again i fear he will turn nasty again. i am scared of his anger i wish he would get it sorted out because he can be a really nice guy and that spoils him but he doesnt thing he has ever done anything wrong so what do i do????

1) No trust . . . he was a womanizer and was flirty with girls behind your back
2) He didn't tell them about you
3) Paranoid, aggressive, violent
4) Disrespected your kids, you argued about that
5) Climax of bad actions . . . you got the police to help you and he was arrested
6) You don't like your current situation because you are basing his possible actions on his previous actions . . .doesn't look good

Don't have a relationship out of fear - if anything call the police on him again, get a restraining order . . .the law is on your side.

And no, he's not a nice guy . . . would a genuinely nice guy do those bad things?

Listen to your friends and family, they can bring some objectivity to your situation.