Is he only interested in sex?

[ShellyZ]

No, but most people don't have a definate timeline as to when it could end (graduation) either.

Actually, a lot of people have this. Like, all the people who date while they're in high school, college, or grad school. This is when a lot of relationships take place. They just figure it out when graduation comes along and they have to make a decision.

[Wakeup]

I'm not arguing or, I don't mean to seem argumentative with you, but in high school, people live in the same district.

In University, many come from different countries never mind towns. I myself would not expect a relationship with someone at Uni to be anything more than at most a 4/5 year fling simply becuase I have never had any desire to live anywhere else except my birth place and if dude didn't want to live anywhere else but his birthplace.. well, then it's at most a 4/5 year fling. Thats my point.

Op can certainly have a 4/5 year fling without him just after her for the sex. I suppose it depends on what she determins "just about sex" to mean to her.

[ShellyZ]

in high school, people live in the same district

Yes, but then they usually go off to college in different states/provinces.

I myself would not expect a relationship with someone at Uni to be anything more than at most a 4/5 year fling

4-5 years is a fling?! That sounds like a serious long-term relationship to me! Isn't a fling usually a few weeks?

[sadie_genie]

Wow. Just, wow! I thought the vagina bartering system went the way of unequal pay for equal work between the sexes.

I am not following. What does what I said have to do with getting equal pay? I am not making any statement about gender politics. I was simply saying the women needs to feel valued before she wants to/should put out. If she doesn't feel satisfied before she does so, she will regret it and resent the guy. That is a lose-lose for both sides.

[Wakeup]

A "fling" is not about the time.. imo.. it's more about the potential for a life mate or not. If I know that it's not going to go any further then my graduation date, then that is a fling. It's spending time with an exclusive lover until I finish school.

Of course all this is hypothetical because I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 4 decades now. Now, that's long term. .. and we waited and we got to know each other before we had sex.

I was simply saying the women needs to feel valued before she wants to/should put out.

You said:

Make sure you have everything you need before you put out whether that means something monetary or emotional.

That's gold digger talk and using your vagina to get stuff whether you realize it or not.

[Mathias]

I'm not arguing or, I don't mean to seem argumentative with you, but in high school, people live in the same district.

In University, many come from different countries never mind towns. I myself would not expect a relationship with someone at Uni to be anything more than at most a 4/5 year fling simply becuase I have never had any desire to live anywhere else except my birth place and if dude didn't want to live anywhere else but his birthplace.. well, then it's at most a 4/5 year fling. Thats my point.

Op can certainly have a 4/5 year fling without him just after her for the sex. I suppose it depends on what she determins "just about sex" to mean to her.

You are one weird dude.

[Wakeup]

You are one weird dude.

Thank you... change that to "one wierd chick" and you'd not be taling out of your ass quite so much.

[bulrush]

Why not date the guy and get to know him? You have to take a chance with someone, why not him?

You don't have to have sex on the first date, just get to know him, see if you like him. Take things one step at a time.

I really can't tell much about the guy from your post.

[ShellyZ]

A "fling" is not about the time.. imo.. it's more about the potential for a life mate or not. If I know that it's not going to go any further then my graduation date, then that is a fling. It's spending time with an exclusive lover until I finish school.

So any relationship that doesn't end in marriage is a fling? That doesn't make sense. Plenty of serious, long-term relationships don't result in marriage. That doesn't mean they were just flings. A fling is not serious, it's usually just a quick thing that's all about sex and doesn't involve any kind of emotional attachment.

Besides, not everyone wants to marry every person they date. I don't start dating a guy because I expect to marry him someday. I start dating a guy if I like him and we have feelings for each other now, in the present. I don't even think about the possibility of marriage unless I've been dating the guy for at least 2 years! I would never want to marry my high school sweetheart, lol. People who aim to do that are usually people who view any relationship that doesn't end in marriage as a failure. I don't see it that way. Like, dating is just a means to an end for them. They don't enjoy the experience of relationships, they just want to find someone to marry as fast as possible.

[Wakeup]

So any relationship that doesn't end in marriage is a fling?

No, I didn't say that. If I know when it IS GOING TO END and i agree to become sexual with that man.. knowing very well that it will end in one week, one month, one year, etc. then it is a fling. I'm indulging while knowing without a doubt that there is a difinate ending. That is a fling in my books.

That doesn't make sense.

No because you've not understood so the rest of your post doesn't apply to what I've actually said. (which btw sounds like the musings of a serial monogamist.) Just because YOU wouldn't marry your High School sweetheart it doesn't' mean that those that would or have cannot have enjoyed the experience of relationships. We just got it right the early on is all.. ;0)

[HeartIsAching]

That's gold digger talk and using your vagina to get stuff whether you realize it or not.

True enough, but more women still do than don't. At least, that's been my experience. Thank god my wife's not like that.

[Wakeup]

True enough, but more women still do than don't. At least, that's been my experience. Thank god my wife's not like that.

Trust me.. I hate gold-digging women or women who barter with the vagina. They give women in general a bad name because any man who has had the displeasure of dating (or being stupid enough to marry) one often ends up one bitter douche with a load of baggage against women in general.

[Junket]

Men have a natural knack for buttering women up to shoot their semen in their vaginas.

[Wakeup]

Oooookaaaay O_o

[sadie_genie]

That's gold digger talk and using your vagina to get stuff whether you realize it or not.

If a guy needs sex to feel like a man/to feel valued then there shouldn't be a double standard to a woman voicing what she wants. This is 21st century, women shouldn't be subjected to control of her sexuality and the suppression of voicing what she wants. By giving bad names to women who is only strong enough to voice what she wants, you are contributing to the oppression of your own sex. Final word is that women can do whatever they want. They can have sex with men without any agreements to commit IF she wants. She can also put out only if the man satisfies her needs and wants whatever those needs and wants are.