What do these things mean?

[DarkHelmet82]

if she had anymore baggage she would be booted off the airline for taking up the whole cargo bay

[Wakeup]

Ok I'm in need of some more opinions. I'm dying to talk to her, I mean when we do talk we get along great. But I don't think I should be the one to text/call her first... esp if it's because she's not feelin it.

how long should i continue this?

Not one second longer.
Why would you? She's not interested in a romantic relationship but she "feels calm around you."

Let her contact you after she's "had time to be single and concentrate on herself."

Don't be her emotional tampon where she feels so calm around you that she fails to see that you're a man and not her girlfriend.

[smackie9]

Yes pull out the emotional tampon card....love it!

[James89]

Ok Wakeup, just to verify since it your advice seems to contradict with most of the other people here, you're saying she possibly IS feelin it, and I should give her time? And by not one second longer, you mean I should Not wait for her to contact me first?

[Wakeup]

No... completely opposite of everything you said. Do not contact her again, let her contact you. I say that because you seem to be in a one sided crush here where you're doing all the crushing and she's just giving you excuses why she shouldn't get romantically involved with you. So I say, don't put up with the fact that you are doing all the pursuing and let her come to you if she want ANYTHING from you. She doesn't even sound like she puts much effort into being your friend for that matter. She gives you mind fk statements that for some reason she thinks you'll understand.

I think her saying that you make her feel calm is to be taken at face value. You are the type of person that, for her she is able to unstress around. That doesn't necessarily mean that she has romantic feelings for you though. She's come right out and told you (without actually using the words) that she does not want a romantic relationship with you when she said "I need time to be single and concentrate on myself." Take it a face value. She.needs.time.to.be.single.and.concentrate.on.her self.

Now that she's not contacted in two weeks, that would tell me that she is giving you the space YOU need to get over your crush on her. You've been friend zoned and you'll have a hard time climbing out of that pit and being transferred over onto the potential ladder now. Particularily if you continue to be her emotional catch like you're her girlfriend with dangly bits.

Thats how I see it just from the little bit that you've written.

Me, I'd not call her until she called me and while I wasn't waiting for that to happen, I'd get on with my life and hanging with my friends and doing things to make me the best me that I could be. Her loss.

Google "Ladder Theory" I think you'll find it a good read.

[haventaclue]

Hey if she wanted you, she would not wait over a week to contact you, thats just plain cruel. By all means contact her, meet her face to face, tell her how you feel, ask how she feels. but I dont hold out much hope for a happy ending.

[James89]

Ha, i just read that ladder theory site, pretty interesting stuff. According to him i am on the real ladder, due to friends w benefits kind of thing. Still doesnt look like im in a good situation though.

[Wakeup]

Ha, i just read that ladder theory site, pretty interesting stuff. According to him i am on the real ladder, due to friends w benefits kind of thing. Still doesnt look like im in a good situation though.

Oh, Are you saying that you and her are/have been Friends with benefits? I (wrongly?) assumed that you had not yet been sexually intimate. If you have been having sex I'd say that she's definately backing off because she doesn't want anything committed and she can see that you're catching some emotions for her. (???)

[James89]

You seem confused haha, but im pretty damn confused myself. I actually posted a more detailed story of this same dilemna in the reg love advice board but i dont expect you to read that. But yea thats what im sayin , that weve been intimate on several occasions. but at the same time its only been like lightweight fwb, the instances happened on good circumstances, i cant just booty call as i please. Shes aware i want more cause i told her. Maybe, in the case that she is for it, she is hesitant cause her last two relationships failed miserably. Nevertheless im still kinda over it.. tryin to just move on as of now.

[MaidenMinx]

Dude, she liked your dick and your friendship but doesn't consider you relationship material. Simple.

[James89]

but aren't those basic components for relationship material.. i mean i also have a car, job, prospects, im in school, and not on drugs. we share interests and values. i dont know what else i should be doing.

[MaidenMinx]

Looking for someone else.

What is so hard to understand? There is something about you (I have no idea what) that makes you not bf material for her. Rather than waste time trying to figure out what, let it go and move on.

Enjoy the fact that you got to hit that and leave it at that.

[Wakeup]

You seem confused haha, but im pretty damn confused myself. I actually posted a more detailed story of this same dilemna in the reg love advice board but i dont expect you to read that. But yea thats what im sayin , that weve been intimate on several occasions. but at the same time its only been like lightweight fwb, the instances happened on good circumstances, i cant just booty call as i please. Shes aware i want more cause i told her. Maybe, in the case that she is for it, she is hesitant cause her last two relationships failed miserably. Nevertheless im still kinda over it.. tryin to just move on as of now.

In that case I repeat:

If you have been having sex I'd say that she's definately backing off because she doesn't want anything committed and she can see that you're catching some emotions for her.

. You scratch an itch for her and that's it. Let her contact you for the next booty and then turn her down. You MIGHT have a chance for something more if you're not always available at her beck and call.

You'd be better off just letting it all fade away but I doubt you'll do that.

[James89]

In that case I repeat: . You scratch an itch for her and that's it. Let her contact you for the next booty and then turn her down. You MIGHT have a chance for something more if you're not always available at her beck and call.

You'd be better off just letting it all fade away but I doubt you'll do that.

yeah i realize i should just end everything, i like her too much to risk being hurt again, my main reason for tryin to find some answers is to make sure i dont make a mistake again with someone else in the future. as far is this girl goes, it would be ideal if i could just revert back to fwb if anything.. without emphasis on the friends part (seein how that's when things get tricky), i just wonder if that kind of maneuver is possible?

[Wakeup]

I think it's possible if you let enough time pass and then you just see her for booty and stop all bonding rituals with her such as, sleeping over, sharing a bed for more than sex, long conversations that occur without sex, no vacations together, no being her (or her your's) emotional listening board where she expects you to be her white knight. Keep it strictly sex in which case you would then call her your FB and not a FWB.

Let some time pass (likes a couple of months) and in the meantime, stop pining for her and get out there and keep busy and do lots of things with your friends that will help you to get over her.. who knows you may even meet someone and never have to worry about her and her non-committal ever again.

JMO