Naked pictures from magazines saved on phone?

[bpem]

I can understand why you're surprised and somewhat uncomfortable. But it seems like both of you are very honest with each other.
I think that you'll be fine after a little bit, as you seem very mature and understanding!

[bulrush]

Some guys have a VERY high sex drive and need to have sex 2-3 times EVERY DAY. So what does he do when you're not there? The images help him. Having a high sex drive can be very annoying, very distracting, and just a pain in the butt. Sometimes guys will have a wank, just so they will stop thinking about sex so they can get homework done or something. It can be painful to have an erection for hours and hours on end, so something needs to be done about it. I'm talking about a case where a high sex drive is beyond inconvenient, it's just plain annoying.

Your boyfriend may be like that but he doesn't want to talk about not getting enough sex from you, because you might feel inadequate and run away.

Don't worry about it. You are making something out of nothing.

[devonbrown]

Him being young and inordinately horny is not that big of a deal. Even him looking at porn images is not that big of a deal. His masterbating so much is not even a huge concern, as long as it doesn't interfere with his real life or his understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality. But him telling you about his masterbation is not a good thing. It seems to only bother you. And he should be concerned with your feelings. I know he is just being honest with you, but some things are meant to be private. I don't think you would really want him knowing about every little thought that runs through your head.

Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that EVERYTHING needs to be disclosed every moment of every day. Tel him you don't need to know about when and how he masterbates, unless is starts interfering with your love life with him.

Good luck.

[surfhb]

Jeesh..... Could the OP just explain, in a couple sentences, what the issue is? Please? Like most girls, you're over thinking all this

[Togoru]

I'm completely open and understanding of it. I knew what my boyfriend liked and that he did masturbate. But to actually see what he used for it is of course different than just knowing haha. Last night he told me how if i had a bunch of pics of guys on my phone he wouldnt care. Although i explained i dont necessarily need images to turn me on or "help" me like that. But we talked about it more. He told me "that's how guys are and thats the kind of stuff i like. I know you dont love me any less because of the images. Well i guess this means now we can send each other sexy pics". Cause i suggested if he likes that kind of stuff then i could do that to spice it up for him when im not around. I cant stop him from looking at other images too though, and i never would stop him. But i at least suggested i could send him images like that of myself if he wanted. Yesterday we "strip wrestled" which he said i was sexy during it and how how its an image in his head that he could use when he does, apparently. But he also said I'm enough for him sexually, that I'm the most attractive and he wants to be with me and no other girl. He said that he gets urges and he just needs images to help stimulate him. I understand it even though it was awkward. I just need some time to pretty much get over it. It's no big deal, I just meant getting over how it made me feel at first.

[Togoru]

I need some more advice! So this doesn’t relate to the magazine images, although I don’t know if it could be related or a potential contributing cause. The last few weeks in my relationship have overall felt a little awkward or had some not so great moments. But we got over all of that and moved on. But certain things still seem not the same in a way. Or will be happy with undertones of still slightly awkward moments every now and then. Well here is to my point, so before my boyfriend and I would have an equal sex drive or be all over each other basically from start to finish when seeing each other. We would have sex basically twice in one day or more when we’d see each other (and we don’t see each other every day). Now it’s dropped to one time when we are together and he seems to have no interest in more than one time lately. The other night when I was curious about the different drop in amount I asked why and said I wouldn’t have had an issue with another time and that I was in the mood. Which he said he was in the mood too but apparently the game we were playing must have been the biggest thing on his mind since he liked the game. But he told me how it was just a “misunderstanding”. Saturday happened. We saw each other again. I said he could come over whenever he wanted but he decided to take his time and did what he wanted first and then came over like an hour and a half later after we planned to hang out. So we watched TV for a little and then we made out and took it upstairs and we had sex. Then since we always wanted to try it, we took a shower together. But he didn’t want to take a condom with him in the bathroom and I jokingly said “awww, bummer” which then he said “what?” I said “well stuff can happen in a shower too” but he was persistent about how pretty much nothing sexual would happen, but how he’d bring one in the bathroom just in case he “got excited”. Well he did get “excited” in the shower but we didn’t do anything sexual. It was just a regular shower which of course was very nice but he said to me “a shower with you was enough”. Today, we planned to see each other at 2 and he again took as long as he wanted to get ready to see me. We hung out, we eventually had sex, but just once again. I didn’t feel like trying for a second time this time, which he didn’t seem interested in any more after that either.
Am I crazy? Or does something seem off here? I can’t tell if my sex drive is higher, or if it’s been the same (cause I’ve always been pretty flirty and stuff with my boyfriend so to me I don’t think I am any different), or if he’s having something going on. Do you think it has potential to ever turn back the way it was in time? Or is it slowly declining?

[tremolo]

Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing that happens in relationships. I've experienced the same thing you're describing with every boyfriend I've had. The first few weeks, there's incessant sex.. 3-5 times a day... then it drops off until it's just one time, which annoys me to no end, because that's not nearly enough for me. That's when I start to get irritated about the idea of my boyfriend's porn habit - if for no other reason, because it deprives me of the sex I'd be liking to have.

[Togoru]

And that's how I feel. Natural declination seems to just happen but one time for me is not enough. I'd like to see if it ever goes back to more frequent again. I'd also like to think it's been less frequent due to the past couple weeks not being the best. I'll see if it returns but if not I can try to initiate it too but to me it's not the same if he isn't totally into it. Like a couple times this weekend we had tried again for a second time the one night he was too tired and didn't seem totally into it and it mentally put me off so when he was ready I wasn't. Then Saturday we tried a second time. He seemed in the mood after a while of laying down together but again he was tired and it took him forever to get ready and it felt so awkward and again he wasn't totally into it. So last night I didn't even bother after the first time we did. I'll give him some space maybe and see how it is the next time I see him.

[tremolo]

It could be because things 'haven't been the best' lately, but I think it's also just a novelty thing. I hate to say it, but if you were a new girlfriend, he would be shagging your brains out relentlessly. Once the newness wears off, guys will start to masturbate more and look at other women more and generally act less interested in sex with you. Or at least, that has been my experience. It doesn't really matter how interesting you try to keep things, or whether you try to get him in the mood or not... It's hugely frustrating, and I don't really have a great solution for you. Maybe someone on here can offer some advice to us both on that one.

[Togoru]

A few months ago he mentioned to me something like we shouldn't have sex as much. Like he'd rather do other things with me and have sex "sometimes but not all the time". I told him I never thought sex got in the way of anything or was too much and I said something like "fine we don't have to do it at all then if you think it's getting in the way" which then he was all "no! I never said we shouldn't at all" but despite him saying it should be less a few months ago we still were pretty frequent with it and still had like multiple times in a day. But the past few weeks have been a slow decline in amount and passion. And the picture thing didn't contribute to it in a good way. It's like since then it's been less. Lately I just feel like he's doing things how he wants and not even just with sex just with what we do altogether. Like yesterday we had his house all to ourselves he insisted we play Xbox. Then when we were done that he started getting in the mood but he said "I'm afraid if we do here now my parents will come home" cause technically we weren't supposed to be there when no one was home but he spent the time we did have alone playing Xbox. But what makes no sense is how he suggested bringing condoms with him to his grandmother's since we were going there since we wanted to leave his house before anyone got back. He suggested we have sex at his grandmother's rather than in his home where we could've been alone. Then he insisted how we would do it, only one certain position, and one where I couldn't even kiss or look at him. Which when we were done I was just generally saying how I like kissing him and looking at him when we have sex and he got all offended and said "what? Like I don't look at you enough?". He takes everything I say so personally lately or in the wrong way and will get defensive.*I don't really understand.

[Togoru]

So a month ago there was the pornographic type images on my boyfriend's phone. It's happening again, which I assumed it would. I know it's normal and most guys do, but it's the fact that I tell him how it makes me feel and yet he tells me anyway... I brought up again tonight how that situation happened last month and I actually told him how it made me feel, which was uncomfortable. I send him sexy stuff all the time and flirt with him, our sex life is even great and frequent, yet he still looks at images like that. And I know guys will do that, it's just a matter that I know about it, and he keeps telling me how he does this or "will" because tonight he told me "Sexy pics and flirty stuff is great from you, but guys like to look at women. and I am still going to look at other women in this relationship. if you looked at images of naked men I wouldn't care. It means I'm straight"... I just can't believe he told me that despite me saying and showing how knowing about it makes me upset. And now he is pissed at me? I asked why and he said because he felt "attacked" by me all day from other little things that happened and which I wasn't angry earlier but now "this" situation too and how he "needs to recover". I was just trying to speak my mind and looking for some reassurance that I am good enough sexually for him and then he flat out said he's still going to look at other women. I know most guys do that, but I don't want to know about it, especially from my boyfriend, and I've told him that because it personally makes me uncomfortable. Like I felt like that was totally unnecessary for him to tell me especially since I elaborated on how it made me feel bad or not good enough. But he went to sleep and stopped replying. What should I do or how should I further approach this?

[sadie_genie]

What a great idea. This way, he doesn't have to bring out that flashy porno magazine spread out everywhere in public.

[Togoru]

Or scattered all over the bedroom!
It's just the fact that he keeps telling me that he does makes me uncomfortable. I know it happens, most guys look at that stuff, but I keep telling him I'd rather not know yet he keeps telling me about it or how he will continue doing so. He doesn't understand how what he said about "... I'll look at other women even in this relationship" made me uncomfortable.

[sadie_genie]

Does he have an addiction? If he has an addiction...that can be a problem.

[Togoru]

I don't think it is? I mean we don't live together so I don't know if he watches porn when I am not there or how often he masturbates to images like that. Although he has told me before that it can be up to 3 times a day and that some days he's more horny than others. He's 17 and I just turned 19. I'd assume he's just a horny teenager? He seems in the mood a lot, even when we aren't together something "sexy" or flirty will be said through text at some point. His masturbation doesn't affect our sex life though. I know he finds me attractive too. It's just I know guys look at stuff like that but to me I would rather not know about it and I LOVE honesty, but some things are not always necessary to say.