Naked pictures from magazines saved on phone?

[Togoru]

My boyfriend is 17 and I am 18. He had a bunch of pictures on his phone of naked women. Women's breasts, women in thongs, close up shots of their butts, and some full body shots. They were all images from magazines. But the amount of the images was a lot! And before he's never had images like that saved. So I asked my boyfriend about them because it confused me. Of course I know guys look at porn or images like that. He explained to me that he doesn't love me any less or that he doesn't think I'm unattractive either. He explained how he gets "killer urges" and when I am not around he needs something to look at or get him going. He said to me how I'm usually in his fantasies though, like they consist of me and him having sex. He told me he starts with an image of me and then gathers images of other women and quickly pans through them all to pleasure himself quickly. He said he obviously doesn't love those women or wouldn't just by looking at them, and I know this. He then said to me "well at least it's not images of guys. It means I'm straight!" and I know masturbation is healthy and everyone does it. But the fact that he had SO many saved like that all as if they were "ready to go whenever" that confused me. He told me it's because for the past couple weeks he's been really horny. But this confused me too because I see my boyfriend pretty frequently. A few times a week and weekends. And our sex life is great! We have sex 2 or even 3 times sometimes all in one night and every time we are together. So it's not like our sex life is lacking, it's very lively and satisfying. I don't want him to be ashamed of his sexuality or feel bad about it. But the images seemed odd to me because he's never had them like that saved on his phone before so it made me wonder if something was wrong in our relationship or if I haven't been enough lately. He explained it's not the case. But I still don't quite understand it. Is this normal of him to be doing? I don't understand why all the sudden it seems to be as if he's saving images like this. What do you guys think?

[misombra]

I think he's young and dumb.

[Togoru]

He's always been honest with me. I know he masturbates regularly. He tells me when I see him how that morning he either does or doesn't and how sometimes he will "save himself" for me and other mornings he can't help it and just does it really quick. I don't exactly know what to think of it. Because on one hand I know guys look at stuff like that sometimes and hey even some girls do. But this seems to be something he's doing recently, like saving images like that. I know they're just images of girls that he doesn't know or love but it still was odd to me and bothered me a little. He felt bad that I saw the images, he didn't want it to bother me. He deleted the images, even though I did not tell him to do that. I don't want him to be ashamed of anything though. I just don't get why all the sudden there was so many images like that when before there never was.

[elny1]

He's definitely being honest, I guarantee it.

Saying "young and dumb" is just ridiculous. How does liking sex and masturbation make you young and dumb? People are like this at any age.

I like porn a lot more than most guys and have been in the same scenario as him, except at age 21-23. I had the most gorgeous girlfriend for 2 years and it never stopped me from looking at a ton of porn literally all the time. And plus the more sex I'm having the more I'm masturbating. This has not changed his interest in you at all and it has nothing to do with your looks, so hopefully you're not offended. You can relax. Think of it as a hobby of his I guess..

I wouldn't go as far as saying your boyfriend is normal for how much he looks at porn, but it is completely harmless.

Now.. if it is offending you (these feelings can uncontrollably happen) then we can go more into discussion about how to adjust this.

EDIT: And if it makes you feel any better, he probably masturbates to thinking of you a lot too, and there is an emotional connection when he does that. But when you are masturbating a ton you really need a lot of material, if you want to add that logical spin on the topic.

[Togoru]

I know he loves me and he finds me very attractive and has interest in me and my body, all of that. I knew he masturbated before I just never knew exactly how or what he used to get him going. The picture thing is new to me, like he's never seemed to have done that before, but then again I've never known so who knows he could've always had stuff like that. He said when he masturbates I don't remember if he said "usually" or "most of the time" but it was a word that indicated that I'm not always in his fantasies, but he said "When I do it's usually of you and me having sex" so I mean I don't know... But it did make me offended because I wondered why, as in why does he feel the need to look at other women when he has me. But I know I can't always be there, he said to me "looking at a girls head won't make the guy satisfied, he has to look at the whole body". But he had ass shots in his saved images and some full body ones. But I've sent him images before of myself, my face, full body ones, even one in a tight dress. But I've never sent nude or pics of me in my underwear. But he's obviously into that stuff... I know it's normal for him to relieve himself in that way, and I don't want to be offended but I can't help how I feel. But ways to work on adjusting how I see it will perhaps help me to feel better about it. I mean it's not the end of the world. Better images of women rather than finding images of naked men. But still, it makes me almost feel like he'd rather look at other women for pleasure than me, or that he doesn't respect me. I know that's not the case but I need to somehow get over all of that. He didn't want it to make me feel bad or offend me. He made it clear that I am the one he finds the most attractive, but still.

[elny1]

You need to understand that at least 90% of guys will still look and masturbate to porn even when they are in exclusive relationships and are 100% committed to their girlfriend. It's not just going to be this one guy. The next guy you date and the next guy and the next guy ect. ect. will all do the same thing.

[elny1]

But it did make me offended because I wondered why, as in why does he feel the need to look at other women when he has me.

You are going to have to significantly narrow your selection of boyfriends down if you want a guy to only masturbate to you. Ask any guy. You have to understand that this is the way it is.

If you're concerned that he does it too much... Perhaps a psychologist can help? Telling your boyfriend not to look at porn so much isn't a great answer to your problem unfortunately in my opinion. Others can speak up on that aspect.

[Togoru]

I figured that and knew guys do. Other guys I know do. Even married men I know do! So it's not like a rare few or like my boyfriend is the only one. Not all guys do though, but most seem to. I'm not a guy so I don't quite understand the whole aspect of it or exactly why there seems to be a need to so often or in that way. But I really do try to understand it. I get that guys need visual stimulation it's just the fact that I knew my boyfriend masturbated, but finding what he actually used is what affected me (even though I figured there had to be something of that sort like videos, etc). It's pretty much that fact that I came across it that made me feel a little uncomfortable at first. Because at first I thought "what are all these images! Why so many? Am I enough for him lately?" but once my boyfriend described why I felt a little better about it. I am all for embracing sexuality, and he shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed because it's normal to have urges. But It was just like finding something out that's super personal about him and that I never exactly knew. I can't help how it made me feel to find that out. But I can work on ways to not let it bother me.

[Togoru]

You are going to have to significantly narrow your selection of boyfriends down if you want a guy to only masturbate to you. Ask any guy. You have to understand that this is the way it is.

If you're concerned that he does it too much... Perhaps a psychologist can help? Telling your boyfriend not to look at porn so much isn't a great answer to your problem unfortunately in my opinion. Others can speak up on that aspect.

I would never tell him to not look at the images or not look at anything of that sort. I am not controlling. I just wanted a better understanding of why. And also how I can not let it bother me.

[elny1]

I can understand how it could be weird to see your boyfriends porn. I'm sure you learned a lot about guys by stumbling upon it. You sound quite smart and logical. You'll be alright

[Togoru]

I actually felt more concerned about how he was embarrassed and how HE felt bad about it. Because I didn't want him to feel that way about it or as if I was disgusted, because I wasn't. Although I was confused at first, but he explained it and how he uses it and what he likes the most (which is me) and how when I am not around (since we can't be together all the time) that he needs something. But yes, it was awkward and weird to come across. Well I always knew my boyfriend liked boobs and asses, that validated it haha. I know I'll get over it. It wasn't exactly a shock but of course at the same time I wasn't expecting to see or find any of that, ever, nor did I want to. But it happened, it's over. I can accept it and move on.

[Atnamas]

My boyfriend is 46 and has an enormous porn collection, both on his phone and on his computer. I don’t mind about the computer part but I don’t quite understand why he needs so much mobile porn.

[Togoru]

It's probably easier to hold and look at? Rather than sitting at a desk it's possibly easier and more convenient to just click into the photo section and have the ability to whenever and wherever.

[Illusional]

...nothing.... i got a better collection of porn on my hardrive. and yes, i am married. and yes, she knows about it... and yes, we watch it together.


raverboy

[Togoru]

I remembered another thing my boyfriend said... It was "when you're 12 and 13 you don't really need to look at anything. But as you get older you do" So I could assume it's been a few years that he's been doing that (images and other visual aids) but of course in my 1 and a half years of dating him never saw or found out til now.