Is it me

[bcgirl]

LOL i know, but is that something that one can typically turn on and off at their whim?

no, it can't just happen over night. And also with the OP's suggestion of using viagra, only a proper diagnostic examination with a doctor will determine whether he needs viagra or not. I don't think any of us are qualified physicians who are capable of diagnosing him.

I told him on the weekend I was stressing about motherhood and that ive never felt so fat and ugly, he laughed and told me not to be stupid and thats what happens when you are preg, just and be happy and that he is sure ill loose the weight after the baby is born.

If my husband told me that, i'd feel upset. The right answer would have been...."you're not fat, you look so sexy and you'll be a sexy mother"

[Elliej]

Do you think I should raise the sex issue with him directly, again...?

I'm not sure if this puts pressure on him which I don't want but also makes me feel like I have to beg for pity sex...

If I ask if there is someone else he will get angry. Having said all this he does say I love you reguarly and is affectionate when we are out... And we spend nearly all out free time together.

I'm not sure if it's best left to see what happens or speaking up is the answer...

[bcgirl]

why not make things simple and just talk to him. Tell him that you've noticed certain problems in your sex life and let him know and understand that sex is important to you. You love him, but need to have regular sex or you will be unhappy in your sex life with him. Offer that you two see a doctor for his condition or a therapist to find out the root of the issue. You are a young, reproductive female that needs sex with your loved one. It is selfish for him to deprive that from you. Just the same way as it would be if the issue was reversed.

[Elliej]

Ok.... I might try that, timing though will be everything....

I can understand, that although it hasn't been discussed for a long time, it has been brought up many times over 2.5 years and he may be sick of it or it may make him feel pressured...

I'll just have to wait for the right moment I think...

[bcgirl]

Ok.... I might try that, timing though will be everything....

I can understand, that although it hasn't been discussed for a long time, it has been brought up many times over 2.5 years and he may be sick of it or it may make him feel pressured...

I'll just have to wait for the right moment I think...

he should be understanding when you bring up your needs of sex. It's not like your being selfish.....but he is depriving you of the basics in a relationship.

[Elliej]

We had a great night out last night, first sleep in for a few weeks... Still nothing.

I'm starting to think there may be someone else in some degree.
I've started showering with the door closed, I'm going to start wearing clothes to bed... He is a great guy I think maybe I am just not the right girl for him.
He will never admit to not be attracted to me, unless he says something like "you could be hot but you're not" yes he said that once... Because I don't dress sexy... And he would rather cut off his little finger then ever admit to even thinking about another girl.

I think I'm at my wits end, I'm tired of feeling like shit.

[alwaystryin]

lGirl you go!!! I'm proud of you. Don't settle. You've obvioisly put up with enough, given him more than the benefit of the doubt. And I know it probably wasn't easy to say on here hurtful things he has said. I'm sure there's probably more. We're always the last that want to accept the situatiom for what it is. I don't mean to come off as a hater, but having had my fair share recognizing the signs has come naturally. PM me if you'd like someone to talk to.

[HeartIsAching]

It's probably not you.

It might be porn, or an affair.

If you're sure it's not porn or an affair, get his blood pressure checked. If his blood pressure is fine, maybe his hormones are out of whack.

[HeartIsAching]

We had a great night out last night, first sleep in for a few weeks... Still nothing.

I'm starting to think there may be someone else in some degree.
I've started showering with the door closed, I'm going to start wearing clothes to bed... He is a great guy I think maybe I am just not the right girl for him.
He will never admit to not be attracted to me, unless he says something like "you could be hot but you're not" yes he said that once... Because I don't dress sexy... And he would rather cut off his little finger then ever admit to even thinking about another girl.

I think I'm at my wits end, I'm tired of feeling like shit.

Oh jesus... quit with the passive-aggressive game playing and TALK to the guy!