Does a woman not respect herself if she pays for a trip to meet a guy?

[lovemuffin]

it wasnt just my roommates... there were other situations driving me crazy as I mentioned above. I just felt I needed to go far away. I also wanted to get an idea of Europe as I have been thinking of relocating somewhere outside the US.

[smackie9]

Australia is nice.

[IndiReloaded]

If I had 2000 beans to spend on a trip "to get away from my roommates" I would have used that money to find a new place to live instead, so I could be happier.

Again, its her money to spend as she pleases. Shrug.

Australia is nice.

Australia is awesome. I lived there for a while. But $2000 barely gets you there (depending where you are flying from).

[Wakeup]

Would you think a woman who paid for the whole trip in this scenario doesnt respect herself?

No, but I think that a woman that used the excuse that "she needed to get way" and so she chose to go to the country of a guy that she'd been having an emotional affair with was bein disengenuous to herself.. playing her own mind games and was being slightly desparate.

As for your email. Why don't you just get over this guy by going zero contact so that he quits having this emotional hold over you. You're still playing mind games with yourself because he doesn't care what you think and you're thinking that he does.

Forgive yourself for wasting the money to go see someone who was not real with you. Once you've done that, along with zero contact you'll be able to slowly withdrawl from the habit of him. The email is just immature stuff that nah, nah, nahna, nahna is made of.

[Wakeup]

Further to above:

I didnt feel like it was low self-esteem at all. I felt like I was on the breaking point between my roommates craziness and another situation via another band that almost required me to call the police.

Then why did you ask if we thought a woman that would do this had low self-esteem? What would even make you ask such a thing if you didn't think it made you lack in someway? Who put that 'bug' in your brain?

[IndiReloaded]

The idiot guy did. Anyway, we are beating a dead horse. LOL, lack of other threads in this place.

[Wakeup]

More dead horse flogging ahead:

I've read your posting history so you can ignore the posted question Op. I still believe that you need to forget about the TWO turds you've managed to associate yourself with and that you need to quit fking with your own head, though.

[IndiReloaded]

Poor Wakeup. LOL. You think too much and don't know how to turn back the rheostat.

[Wakeup]

bzzzzzzzz *swat* Indie: WHY do you care so much

[lovemuffin]

Further to above: Then why did you ask if we thought a woman that would do this had low self-esteem? What would even make you ask such a thing if you didn't think it made you lack in someway? Who put that 'bug' in your brain?

The guy I used to work with that told me he thought I didnt value myself because I paid for the trip and tried to get a NSA with me behind his gf's back as result. I posted about it in another post as someone commented they thought they should be two dofferent questions.

[lovemuffin]

No, but I think that a woman that used the excuse that "she needed to get way" and so she chose to go to the country of a guy that she'd been having an emotional affair with was bein disengenuous to herself.. playing her own mind games and was being slightly desparate.

I was under immense stress. My roomates were driving me crazy and I had another situation that got to the point I wanted to get the police involved. The only person I felt supported by and understood me and was a light was the guy I had been talking to online. We both agreed we weren't sure about the romantic aspect working out before I even left... but both wanted to meet each other anyway. I had a very nice time with him actually and he was like a provate tour guide for me.

[smackie9]

Again, its her money to spend as she pleases. Shrug.



Australia is awesome. I lived there for a while. But $2000 barely gets you there (depending where you are flying from).

Hey I didn't say she should have....just said if it were me....comment in passing.


Australia...just another misc comment.

[Wakeup]

I was under immense stress. My roomates were driving me crazy and I had another situation that got to the point I wanted to get the police involved. The only person I felt supported by and understood me and was a light was the guy I had been talking to online. We both agreed we weren't sure about the romantic aspect working out before I even left... but both wanted to meet each other anyway. I had a very nice time with him actually and he was like a provate tour guide for me.

The bolded part is what makes me think you may be lacking in the self-worth department. Not the fact that you went on paid-for-with-your-own-money trip. It's the fact you felt that he was the only person in your life who could make you feel safe and sane. That you were relying on him ~ someone you didn't even know, really.

I, like Smackie wonder why if you had room-mates that were driving you insane that you wouldn't just use the money for first and last months rent (priorities after all) on a new place and then, when you'd re-cooped that expense, gone on a nice Vay-kay to a resort to unwind. It's not about who paid for the trip (as the dude without morals and integrity suggests) but rather about the reasons why you went on your trip that make me wonder if you're okay.

Anyway, I'd still never give a shit what some asshole who would ask you for meaningless sex while in a committed relationship would think ~ He's just fluff after all... as was your internet friend overseas.

Forget the two of them and learn to be more discerning in who you keep company with and invest your money, time and emotions on. Even if the commodity you're investing in is only friendship... value yourself enough to be able to distance yourself from fluff is all I'm getting at.

Glad you had fun, now as most have said here, next this which is not even worth pondering anymore.

[smackie9]

With the 3 threads that were started I sense some sensitivity from you (trouble coping)......who cares what others think. You are an adult, you are responsible for your own choices and you don't need to go to others to find confirmation. Your reasons for doing so is really no ones business but your own. Just put his comments on ignore.....move on.

[smackie9]

Tip: next time when a guy asks you out...friend or otherwise, if you have no interest in dating them, you make sure you bring it up or ask if it's a date or not....never just "assume".


I bet money on it that he really didn't think you were easy bc you went off to visit some guy....he didn't like being rejected by you and he was such a sore loser about it he just turned on you for doing it. His comment was just pulled out of his ass to belittle you.