Does a woman not respect herself if she pays for a trip to meet a guy?

[lovemuffin]

I had been talking to a guy online every day for about 7 months. He had been quite waelthy and very successful until he lost his business in a series of unfortunate events about 2 years prior. He would tell me about the new types of businesses he was looking into but was pretty depressed about the whole thing. He lives in the UK and I did not know at the time the UK does not give limit to unemployment benefits (although Ive heard the want to start) and some people have never worked since they were even young.

Anyway... we developed this online friendship/romance that was mostly friendship in large part because at the time I was living with roommates that were driving me crazy and I ended up just staying in my room on my computer alot. There were some other situations in my life at the time that were also driving me crazy I would talk to the online guy about. One day I realized I just really needed to get away... far away. I asked friends and family if they could join me in a trip in a few weeks but no one had the time oir money. I wanted to go far away and somewhere I had never been before and decided to visit the country the guy was living and also meet him. He said he would pay for my trip in entirety or at least half if he had more $ but he didnt at the time. I didnt really care anymore as I just wanted to get away. So I paid the $2000 and went there for a week. It was great to be with him because he used to have a very successful business in the hospitality field so he was like a personal tour guide the whole week. We met and liked each other a lot but it didnt last after I came back.. which was fine.. I hadnt had my hopes up too much.

Would you think a woman who paid for the whole trip in this scenario doesnt respect herself?

[IndiReloaded]

Sounds like you wanted to get away and enjoyed the trip to the UK, and that seeing him was a nice side benefit.

But its not a trivial amount of money. I wouldn't make a habit of this. Be careful of him expecting this kind of thing in future (i.e. don't offer to pay his way to see you). Assuming you didn't do something irresponsible to pay for the trip, I don't think it should anyway affect your self-respect. You wanted to go, you did and you paid for it w/your own money.

[lovemuffin]

It didnt work out between he and I.. but I hadnt been banking on it anyway and things just kind of faded eventually.

[cheekxs]

Why do you ask us such a question? Do you feel like that??

Normaly people ask us other type of things.

I dont think really about respect.I think more like its some kind of stupid and desperate and dangerous .

If you want to meet someone from the internet, you need to let him come over when you are a woman.

In your case you payed so much cash just for a week for some internet dude.
I guess you have to much money to spent on crap. And maybe you are to lonely.
MAYBE some kind of low self esteem

[lovemuffin]

I'm guessing you didnt read my whole post... but as I stated I had some very trying situations going on in my life at the time and felt I just needed to get far away somewhere for a while. That was what propelled me more than anything.

[IndiReloaded]

In your case you payed so much cash just for a week for some internet dude.
I guess you have to much money to spent on crap. And maybe you are to lonely.
MAYBE some kind of low self esteem

Cheekxs, even if she did spend the money to go see this guy, its really not any different from someone booking a trip to Jamaica/Thailand/Las Vegas to get laid. Men and women do this all the time. Self-indulgent, perhaps, but not necessarily a sign of low self-esteem by itself, I think.

[lovemuffin]

I didnt feel like it was low self-esteem at all. I felt like I was on the breaking point between my roommates craziness and another situation via another band that almost required me to call the police.

[IndiReloaded]

Right then. Issue solved. I like these threads!

[lovemuffin]

Dude who came onto me WANTED to think it was something else.. I guess so he could blame me after. Absolute slimeball. I feel worse for his gf than what he did to me. I asked him once: "How would you feel if you found out your gf is hooking up with some other guy when you're not aruond". He says "Id be pissed!" I said "Oh but its ok for you to do that to her?" His response in a kind of whiny voice "Its differnt.. I'm a guy."

He wasnt so cocky later when I had sent an email that actually reached her (she has a very popular in Asia). But he appears to be his old cocky self aagain now including hitting on a woman at the club bug time.

[lovemuffin]

what do you think about this email I'm thinking to send him?

Hey Jim,

Still cheating on your girlfriend these days? Its fun to read your posts on facebook about how people should be treated and ethics regarding business and politics etc... in light of how you tried to take advantage of a woman you thought didnt value themselves and your cheating on and lying to a woman that has been keeping your business afloat for years and helping accrue your retirement. But it wouldnt suprise me you're probably just more than likely using her for your business.

But hey... whatever works for you, right?

[cheekxs]

I think it have something to do with self esteem.cause if you love yourself
you will not put yourself in such unkown situation. That could have end very bad.
And I dont bbelieve the whole story.cause pple that do things like this running to strangers
Do it often in the hope that it may be love.I think u added that other reason to not sound deseratw.

[lovemuffin]

I talked to him every day for 7 months.. a lot of it on webcam. I felt 50/50 about the possibility of a love connection and he said the same. Neither of us were totally banking on anything. In all honesty... had a sister or friend been able to go on a trip with me I would have just gone with one of them... btu no one could go on the short notice espeically. I decided to go to the UK since Id never been there and had a connection who I did want to meet and we actually got along really well.. but it didnt develop into a romance.

[IndiReloaded]

what do you think about this email I'm thinking to send him?

Hey Jim,

Still cheating on your girlfriend these days? Its fun to read your posts on facebook about how people should be treated and ethics regarding business and politics etc... in light of how you tried to take advantage of a woman you thought didnt value themselves and your cheating on and lying to a woman that has been keeping your business afloat for years and helping accrue your retirement. But it wouldnt suprise me you're probably just more than likely using her for your business.

But hey... whatever works for you, right?

I think that if you want to bring yourself down to his level you're doing an excellent job of it.

Why are you still putting energy into this idiot? Is this the best you can do? Really, you need a different hobby. Karma IS; he'll get his and without you needling the situation to make it happen. All that will do is get you covered in shit too.

[lovemuffin]

I guess its on my mind lately because I've been seeing quite a bit again lately... but I think I realized the other night I'm just going to have to leave when I see him.

[smackie9]

If I had 2000 beans to spend on a trip "to get away from my roommates" I would have used that money to find a new place to live instead, so I could be happier.