moving in with my boyfriend

[Wakeup]

I live with my girlfriend in the house I have purchased before we started dating. I had a contract written up that she will pay me rent (no more than she paid at her studio apartment) and that she has no legal standing in the ownership of the house until the time we choose to get married, at which point I will sign her into partial ownership. She had no problem with this and stated she would feel bad asking to own part of a house which she can't afford, and hasn't put any money into.

I think it is fair, she can't afford to pay even half of my mortgage payment, so she has no entitlement to the house, and it works. I think you shouldn't ask to be signed into something you can't afford, I think you should wait until you either choose to get married, or can afford to put your name on the deed. Nothing in life is free, and even though you're not a gold digger, you're asking for 1/2 of a house without putting in 1/2 of the cash.

Yikes! Did you look into the legality of your 'agreement' Cerby? Particularily did she have separate representation (if you did get legal advice?) In Canada after living together for more than (last time I checked) two years you are considered common law spouses and if she's been paying any money to you, then that means she's contributed to the house expenses and MAY be entitled to half of the increased value of your home from the time she moved in until the time you guys separate (if you ever do). I could be wrong there but common-law laws are very, very similar to marital laws here in equal rights, Oh Canada.

[iamaninnocentma]

I dont think the law applies to imaginary gfs in any country.

[smackie9]

The prenup laws in British Columbia are different from the rest of Canada Wakeup.

Cerby hats off to you and what you have done. I'm anti share too. My common law husband and I do not share bank accounts, credit cards or investments. If he leaves he gets back what he has put into my house except for food and living expenses and whatever he has purchased with his money he takes. I keep my dept, he keeps his. We have never fought over money ever. He makes more money than I do, but you won't see me holding my frickin hand out for extra. He can purchase whatever he wants....a Harley, a TV, whatever I don't care. If I want a new car, I'm on my own, and I don't expect him to buy it or help pay for it. What his is his and what mine is mine.

So I don't blame the guy for protecting his asset. He IS smart to know that there is always a possibility for a relationship to go south. You gotta be pretty damn stupid to to let an unemployed, broke GF to be on that deed. **** that love shit.....love doesn't pay the mortgage.

[iamaninnocentma]

Your stupid country is backwards. In a proper country it doesnt matter who owned what at the start, the ****ing woman gets it all in the end. If all cerby can get is a skanky unemployed bitch from the street, then quite frankly, he deserves everything he gets.

[smackie9]

I don't care what you say....British Columbia is the best place on earth.....stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

[iamaninnocentma]

You must care a little bit, otherwise you wouldnt reply.

The clue is in the name "British" colombia. The problem with canada, is it has no history, and is good for nothing in the world. Its like a retarded version of america. Which is quite an insult.

Anyway, none of this changes the fact that cerby talks a load of shite.

[smackie9]

We are more civilized and not so over taken by military and religious goop. iamaninnocentma you can freely marry your gay lover here too

[Maple1714]

In the U.S. common law marriage is determined by each state...in the state I live in there is no common law marriage determined by the amount of time you live with someone I spoke with a lawyer about my situation and my BF is only entitled to half of whatever we acquired together once we were in a relationship. Anything I had before we were together is mine. The only way we can be considered common law in our state is if we go around telling people we are husband and wife and everyone in our life thinks we are married...weird I know. That would be determined in a court of law. Soooo, I think that it's fair to give my BF back the $$ he has paid me in rent over the years if we break up. B/c when you go to sell a house you typically (hopefully) have made some $$$ and whoever owns the house gets to keep that profit...so it's only fair to give your significant other back some of the $$ they have put into the house...including the rent they have paid.

The OP should not get her name on the house title...that isn't fair. But, if she will be paying half the mortgage and bills...then she should get that $$ back if they split. My friend just bought a house on her own with her babies daddy...he didn't have any money to contribute (loser) so his name is not on the title.

If 2 people decide to be together forever and also choose not to become legally married..then that creates issues when $$ is concern and they should come to whatever agreement they both feel comfortable with.

[Maple1714]

you can freely marry your gay lover here too

I didn't know that...that's nice! That is also determined by each state here in the U.S....our states are more like little countries...but our federal government has the final say...which stinks and that is a big issue right now with our upcoming election for a new president. Ahhhh...

[Wakeup]

The prenup laws in British Columbia are different from the rest of Canada Wakeup.

How so? I'm Interested in the differences. I thought Family Law was the same across the country. In any event... If there's a chance that a judge thought she was paying to help with his mortgage and they are sleeping in the same bed then, It wouldn't hurt to find out for sure. Even the best pre-nup can be broken if the proper conditions haven't been met and if she should go batshit vindictive on him..

BTW: I don't think even married couples should only have joint accounts. It's smart to have something of your own ~ In case someone wants/has to ever do a midnight run. :o)

[Cerby]

How so? I'm Interested in the differences. I thought Family Law was the same across the country. In any event... If there's a chance that a judge thought she was paying to help with his mortgage and they are sleeping in the same bed then, It wouldn't hurt to find out for sure. Even the best pre-nup can be broken if the proper conditions haven't been met and if she should go batshit vindictive on him..

BTW: I don't think even married couples should only have joint accounts. It's smart to have something of your own ~ In case someone wants/has to ever do a midnight run. :o)

I'll take the correction, if and when we do fall under the common-law marriage clause we will be legally classified as married, and as per our agreement, she will have claim to the housing situation, this is known and accepted. The difference is that she isn't with me for my house, and contrary to innocentman's jealous rant, her paying me "rent" is established because she still needs to pay for housing somehow, nothing is free. If she decides to go batshit crazy, then she will and shit will fly no matter how bullet proof the agreement is.

My entire financial life went into my housing investment, so taking at least some precautions to protect it were necessary, and anyone who believes it to be stupid obviously haven't been in a situation where a huge portion of your financial assets are on the line.

Innocentman, get off the internet and get a real job, buy a house, get some responsibility, and you'll figure out how life works. If you'd like I can find a nice pastor to marry you and your boyfriend so that you don't have to be in this situation As for calling her a skanky unemployed bitch, I'll bet you she makes more money than you do

[smackie9]

How so? I'm Interested in the differences. I thought Family Law was the same across the country. In any event... If there's a chance that a judge thought she was paying to help with his mortgage and they are sleeping in the same bed then, It wouldn't hurt to find out for sure. Even the best pre-nup can be broken if the proper conditions haven't been met and if she should go batshit vindictive on him..

BTW: I don't think even married couples should only have joint accounts. It's smart to have something of your own ~ In case someone wants/has to ever do a midnight run. :o)

Even laws about estate and writing wills are different too.

[Wakeup]

I'll take the correction, if and when we do fall under the common-law marriage clause we will be legally classified as married, and as per our agreement, she will have claim to the housing situation, this is known and accepted.

Seems you know the dealio, then.

The difference is that she isn't with me for my house,

I agree with what you did 100% but It wasn't clear that you knew what could happen.

Even laws about estate and writing wills is different

I think the only difference (in established common law marriage) would be when common law marriage becomes in effect. I think here it's two years of living together at the moment? Whats the time period for it to click in as a marriage (sans the document) in BC?

[iamaninnocentma]

I'll take the correction, if and when we do fall under the common-law marriage clause we will be legally classified as married, and as per our agreement, she will have claim to the housing situation, this is known and accepted. The difference is that she isn't with me for my house, and contrary to innocentman's jealous rant, her paying me "rent" is established because she still needs to pay for housing somehow, nothing is free. If she decides to go batshit crazy, then she will and shit will fly no matter how bullet proof the agreement is.

My entire financial life went into my housing investment, so taking at least some precautions to protect it were necessary, and anyone who believes it to be stupid obviously haven't been in a situation where a huge portion of your financial assets are on the line.

Innocentman, get off the internet and get a real job, buy a house, get some responsibility, and you'll figure out how life works. If you'd like I can find a nice pastor to marry you and your boyfriend so that you don't have to be in this situation As for calling her a skanky unemployed bitch, I'll bet you she makes more money than you do

lol

My house is bought and paid for. I retired 15 years ago and have enough to last me until death. My gf who is 12 years my junior has sucked me off so much that im actually ****ing bored of it, hence why i come on the internets purely for my own amusement. As for your skanky ho of a gf making more money than me, i dont have to live with a repressed canadian homosexual, so i doubt she does. I hope that clears up some real life issues that were concerning you. Faggot.

[Lynda]

Well Smackie,

You always seem to have a very negative out look on life. No wonder why couples don't last anymore or can't communicate and don't know how to compromise , to share their life nor have the ability to not be selfish. Life is about growing old together and treating the other with respect and love and as an equal no matter what.

People want the best of both world today by living in two seperate houses yet say that they are a true couple , I say they are not, they only want the benefits of having someone permanent to have sex with and for the good times and as soon as things get rough, they hit the road because no one in this generation knows the real meaning of LOVE. partenership etc....

Remember how it was in the 50 s women stayed home and didn't work outside the home but she was included.

I would like to add that I do have a job, I,m in a new domaine, and my salary isn't the same for the moment, I have a lot of sacrificies to make for a while but it's insulting to hear you judge so easily someone you don't know anything about and you automaticaly think I'm out to get his money. I could care less of the money he put in to the house, he can keep it all. it comes down to the fact that it's a life you are creating with someone both people should feel equally important and a part of all the process.

today everyone wants to think about themselves, me, myself and I. no wonder why people can't get along anymore. they cannot commit to a true relationship.

The prenup laws in British Columbia are different from the rest of Canada Wakeup.

Cerby hats off to you and what you have done. I'm anti share too. My common law husband and I do not share bank accounts, credit cards or investments. If he leaves he gets back what he has put into my house except for food and living expenses and whatever he has purchased with his money he takes. I keep my dept, he keeps his. We have never fought over money ever. He makes more money than I do, but you won't see me holding my frickin hand out for extra. He can purchase whatever he wants....a Harley, a TV, whatever I don't care. If I want a new car, I'm on my own, and I don't expect him to buy it or help pay for it. What his is his and what mine is mine.

So I don't blame the guy for protecting his asset. He IS smart to know that there is always a possibility for a relationship to go south. You gotta be pretty damn stupid to to let an unemployed, broke GF to be on that deed. **** that love shit.....love doesn't pay the mortgage.