Boyfriend is moving

[Naive]

Well my boyfriend is moving house soon, its only about 40 mins away and we both have cars. We've talked before about the distance (even though its not THAT far) and maybe it wouldn't work but he put my mind at rest that we'd visit eachother and he wouldn't just disappear. Afterall, he has friends in another city and regualarly visits them.

However yesterday he completely changed his mind, he said he was happy with me and enjoyed my company but it wouldn't work out and split up with me "for the time being" because I had to go to work.

We spoke about it today when we had time and got back together but only til he moves (which is before the end of the month). It's really upset me because I think he's giving up a good relationship for nothing and I'm dreading when the time comes for him to move. It might not work but I think its atleast worth trying, what should I say to him? or should I just move on?

[graeme]

right my advice to you is this you say he is breaking up with you ebcause of a 40 min drive that really aint anything if he truley loved you then he wouldent mind traveling the distance regularly if i were you i would ask him straight if he wants to be with you period and if he says no u have your answer it aint a long distance its not like its 3hour drive away in which u might only ebable to see on weekends just ask him if he wants a relationship with you because if he doesent your wasting time trying to stay with someone when tehre is someone which will love you forever out there .

you can disagree if uw ant to but thats my opinion good luck

[nyc123]

first of all, i don't think 40 minutes counts as "long distance" at all... some cities in which people work/thrive are 40 minutes away from the suburbs in which they live, etc. etc. sounds fishy to me.

then again, if he's never tried a "long distance" thing before, it can be scary, and sometimes it's easier just to break it off ahead of time before it gets hard. i remember when my high school boyfriend went to college, i was scared that one of us would cheat on the other, so i suggested an "open relationship" type thing. it turned out, neither of us were interested in that when it came down to it, so that ended after a few weeks of his being gone.

chances are (especially since he came back to you after breaking up with you) that he's just scared and doesn't want to hurt you if he can't handle being in a "long distance" relationship. (or maybe he's scared you'll hurt him?) if this is the case, and you two really love each other/it's meant to be/etc., once he moves, he will realize after a while that he doesn't want to be broken up with you...

[Jimmy1218]

right my advice to you is this you say he is breaking up with you ebcause of a 40 min drive that really aint anything if he truley loved you then he wouldent mind traveling the distance regularly if i were you i would ask him straight if he wants to be with you period and if he says no u have your answer it aint a long distance its not like its 3hour drive away in which u might only ebable to see on weekends just ask him if he wants a relationship with you because if he doesent your wasting time trying to stay with someone when tehre is someone which will love you forever out there .

you can disagree if uw ant to but thats my opinion good luck

Dude, punktuations.

[Gigabitch]

I think getting back together until he moves is ridiculous. If you have no future, the present is pretty well ruined. Just break up with him. You've already had the good part. Everything from now on will be slow torture because he can't handle the distance.

Either it will shock him to his senses and he'll come back to you without the bullshit or it won't, but either way you won't have to go through the agonizing month + of the yo-yo treatment.

[Jimmy1218]

But distance is a huge incovenience, cause its harder for you to see eachother, and harder to contact. I'd rather have friends live next door.

[Gigabitch]

But distance is a huge incovenience, cause its harder for you to see eachother, and harder to contact. I'd rather have friends live next door.

That's because you're not old enough to drive. Does the bus even go down Cunnilingus Avenue?

[Jimmy1218]

Ok, i just made my location up as i wrote. don't pay any attention to it.

[Naive]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

chances are (especially since he came back to you after breaking up with you) that he's just scared and doesn't want to hurt you if he can't handle being in a "long distance" relationship. (or maybe he's scared you'll hurt him?) if this is the case, and you two really love each other/it's meant to be/etc., once he moves, he will realize after a while that he doesn't want to be broken up with you...

Well, see its not that easy. He's grown up with his parents in the army, he was born overseas when his parents were stationed there and has been taught by his dad to be "a man" and tough and not feel anything or talk about feelings so I doubt he's scared of getting hurt.
I dunno, he's got a soft side. He's not really one for words but thats ok because he shows me how much he cares through his actions towards me. In the past he's told me he misses me when he's been away but when I asked today if he'd be lonely without me he firmly said "no, its part of life isn't it?".
It's never really been a problem before, we're both pretty chilled out and very similar so we don't really have have problems, none that can't be sorted in 5 mins anyway. This is the first thing thats caused a bit of tension and raised voices between us because I can't get a straight answer from him and I think I deserve one.