I spied on my girlfriend's Yahoo conversation, now she is furious.

[bcgirl]

^ yes love can make anyone go mad. He loves her and its normal when u r in love to not want to face the cold, hard facts. Love is blind and he chooses to close his eyes and forgive her.

[Kirkland]

Tonight she was over at my house. We had a serious talk and eventually she let up and saw things from my point of view. She tried that whole "You shouldn't have looked" when I told her how hurt I was. Throwing that to the side I told her straight up what she did was wrong and we needed to focus on that, because even if I was in the wrong, she was damn wrong.

Everything came out. You guys were right, mostly anyway. She told me that she had contemplated breaking up, but that it would be awkward since we go to school together. She stopped denying the flirting that took place between her and the guy online. Basically she said our relationship hit rock bottom. She felt like we were together because it was convenient. We never really go out on dates because we never have money and when we're together at the house we end up doing our own thing for hours. She says that it felt like I was really her best friend than a boyfriend. It has been 3 years and she feels like we're not going anywhere because of school. She wanted to be married or at least engaged right now and she just doesn't see it happening.

What she said summed up my worst fears and made me feel like I have been a horrible boyfriend to let things slump so badly. She told me that she feels like things are getting better between us. We've been interacting more with each other recently and she says we're not at rock bottom anymore. She apologized for openly flirting with a stranger, adding that she hadn't intended to take things as far as they had gone. She promised to never talk to him again, cold turkey.

Am I being a complete idiot for continuing this relationship? What you guys said was right... I do feel like she had fallen out of love with me. I don't know if she is "in love" when she says she loves me, or if she just has strong friendship feelings. Is it possible to be friendzoned after being in a relationship? And what if I can't give her everything, what if I can't manage to create the kind of passion we've always had in the relationship? Will she end up leaving anyway? God this sucks.

[HeartIsAching]

Tonight she was over at my house. We had a serious talk and eventually she let up and saw things from my point of view. She tried that whole "You shouldn't have looked" when I told her how hurt I was. Throwing that to the side I told her straight up what she did was wrong and we needed to focus on that, because even if I was in the wrong, she was damn wrong.

Everything came out. You guys were right, mostly anyway. She told me that she had contemplated breaking up, but that it would be awkward since we go to school together. She stopped denying the flirting that took place between her and the guy online. Basically she said our relationship hit rock bottom. She felt like we were together because it was convenient. We never really go out on dates because we never have money and when we're together at the house we end up doing our own thing for hours. She says that it felt like I was really her best friend than a boyfriend. It has been 3 years and she feels like we're not going anywhere because of school. She wanted to be married or at least engaged right now and she just doesn't see it happening.

What she said summed up my worst fears and made me feel like I have been a horrible boyfriend to let things slump so badly. She told me that she feels like things are getting better between us. We've been interacting more with each other recently and she says we're not at rock bottom anymore. She apologized for openly flirting with a stranger, adding that she hadn't intended to take things as far as they had gone. She promised to never talk to him again, cold turkey.

Am I being a complete idiot for continuing this relationship? What you guys said was right... I do feel like she had fallen out of love with me. I don't know if she is "in love" when she says she loves me, or if she just has strong friendship feelings. Is it possible to be friendzoned after being in a relationship? And what if I can't give her everything, what if I can't manage to create the kind of passion we've always had in the relationship? Will she end up leaving anyway? God this sucks.

Yes, you're an idiot. If you even contemplate marriage, you're a world-class idiot. I could go into a lot more depth with your post, but I'm not going to unless you want me to.

[bcgirl]

Am I being a complete idiot for continuing this relationship? What you guys said was right... I do feel like she had fallen out of love with me. I don't know if she is "in love" when she says she loves me, or if she just has strong friendship feelings. Is it possible to be friendzoned after being in a relationship? And what if I can't give her everything, what if I can't manage to create the kind of passion we've always had in the relationship? Will she end up leaving anyway? God this sucks.

She is expecting Prince Charming to come and swipe her off her feet. Life doesn't work this way and she needs to snap into reality, but it is normal for someone to think the grass is greener on the other side if she doesn't have anything to compare with relationship wise. She needs to know how to communicate, how the hell were u supposed to read her mind in what she wants? Does she want a good college education? Or does she want to make money working at Wal-mart? Cuz u can't just leave your studies to make money so u can bring her on fancy dates. Great dates don't have to cost a lot. There are plenty on ways to spice up the romance, but it takes two to tango. It's probably a good time to move on from each other, being friends no. Would u wanna hear all about your ex gfs new bfs?

[Kirkland]

It's probably a good time to move on from each other, being friends no. Would u wanna hear all about your ex gfs new bfs?

Jesus Christ, absolutely no. I would kill myself first. We started dating I told her that I really liked her and that I could not ever think of her as just a friend. When she told me that she felt we were more like friends, with benefits on occasion, that was a very hard hit. If she is already on that level, maybe it is time to move on...

Thanks everyone.

[bcgirl]

Yes definitely time to move on.

[IndiReloaded]

Why don't you do the classic female "I want a break". It may shock her into meeting you partway. Worse case, it starts to get you on your way to a full split.

Good luck. Sometimes two nice people just don't work out. Don't beat yourself up over it, nor over the yahoo thing. This issue has been festering for a while.

Love your wrong, damned wrong filter btw.