I know I should hate him even more now...

**michelle23** · 12-02-13, 07:37 PM

No I agree with you OP. If he cant wait 3 months to start dating again while you are living together and he knows how hurt you are then he is cruel. It is wrong to discard someone like a used tissue after 3 years. Just do not give him any satisfaction. Pretend you don't care. When college is over you can get away from him and never have to see him again.

Your family/friends at home will be a great support to you and you can start to focus on you.

**smackie9** · 12-02-13, 10:19 PM

You know just grow a spine and tell him to shut the f uck up. You can turn this around and make life difficult for him too. Stop letting him push you around.

**smackie9** · 12-02-13, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by brokenhearted91

If I wanted to leave I would have to find someone who would take over the contract. My part of it. Seeing as that would involve living and sharing a bed with someone, presumably new, then I doubt either party would want that.

It's the fact he's rubbing it in my face, when he knows I still love him, I just think its cruel. What I don't know doesn't hurt type thing. I care about him enough to know if I ended it, I wouldn't flaunt new people etc in his face because I wouldn't wanna hurt someone further. Not wanting to be with someone doesn't mean you have to instantaneously turn on them and make them feel 10x worse. Maybe that's just me and I have more morals.

This has nothing to do with morals....this is insecurity. Insecurity is weakness, and he sees your weakness and taking advantage of that. You need to stand up for yourself.

**HeartIsAching** · 12-02-13, 10:31 PM

Exactly. If he's doing this, why is it YOUR responsibility to pay the rent?

**Wakeup** · 12-02-13, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by brokenhearted91

If I wanted to leave I would have to find someone who would take over the contract. My part of it. Seeing as that would involve living and sharing a bed with someone, presumably new, then I doubt either party would want that.

It's the fact he's rubbing it in my face, when he knows I still love him, I just think its cruel. What I don't know doesn't hurt type thing. I care about him enough to know if I ended it, I wouldn't flaunt new people etc in his face because I wouldn't wanna hurt someone further. Not wanting to be with someone doesn't mean you have to instantaneously turn on them and make them feel 10x worse. Maybe that's just me and I have more morals.

You are throwing your own pity party and its making you stagnate in your dispair. If you don't want him to tell you about his newest conquest then bloody well tell him that you don't want to hear about it. Start being a little more assertive and a lot less like a doormat.

You NEED to take back your personal power and the first step to doing that is accepting that people can do what you wouldn't dare do... it has nothing to do with "morals" in the least. He has broken up with you and he is living his life the way he feels is best for him. The only cruelity here is you being cruel to yourself by allowing him to dictate how you handle this breakup.

Stop talking to him, stop being his platonic emotional sounding board, stop hoping he'll love you again. Stop, stop, stop being cruel to yourself in this manner.

Get the book the Five Stages of Grief, pretend the boy you knew when you were a couple is dead and this new, unfeeling boy you're now with is someone you don't like much and will be soon rid of.

Your very own pity party isn't helping you. We all have empathy for your sadness, but there comes a time when you need to make the best out of a shitty situation instead of wallowing. Now is the time.

**basilandthyme** · 14-02-13, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by brokenhearted91

If I wanted to leave I would have to find someone who would take over the contract. My part of it. Seeing as that would involve living and sharing a bed with someone, presumably new, then I doubt either party would want that.

I am sure the contract doesn't stipulate that TWO people must live in the flat the whole time. Negotiate an out with your ex - pay him a decent amount towards what you'd owe for the rest of the contract and move out. Or pay the whole lot you'd owe.

Also, I don't believe that the contract doesn't have an exit clause of some description. Sure, you may both have to give adequate notice or pay a penalty, but I'm still not buying that you're trapped there.

If it's bad enough, you'll find a way. Seek legal advice if your ex won't negotiate.

**HeartIsAching** · 14-02-13, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by basilandthyme

Negotiate an out with your ex - pay him a decent amount towards what you'd owe for the rest of the contract and move out. Or pay the whole lot you'd owe.

Why? He broke up with her. He's using his new freedom to mess with her head. Let him eat it and come after her in court if he wants to.

**basilandthyme** · 14-02-13, 09:31 AM

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching

Why? He broke up with her. He's using his new freedom to mess with her head. Let him eat it and come after her in court if he wants to.

Yes, that's an option too. I'd probably seek legal advice before taking that route though. I'd be concerned that him chasing her for owed rent could end up costing more time and money than what she currently owes.

**toknow** · 14-02-13, 06:02 PM

It's funny on the guys' side you read titles like:
"Would she take me back"
"How can I get her back"
"What can I do to get her back", etc.

On the girls' side: "I know I should hate him even more now" AHAHHAHAH...

I little less vindictive there girls... Remember you used to love(?) that person...lol.

**michelle23** · 14-02-13, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by toknow

I little less vindictive there girls... Remember you used to love(?) that person...lol.

He treated her badly toknow and is still treating her badly now.

**toknow** · 14-02-13, 06:44 PM

Then she should leave. Not stay there and hate him for it.

**michelle23** · 14-02-13, 07:14 PM

She is trying to leave lol. That is why we are giving her advice.

**kskts6115** · 14-02-13, 08:38 PM

I think wakeup said it perfectly in her last post. Reread that a couple times. I think it's easy to blame yourself and torture yourself over these things but she's right you need to start making a better situation for yourself. You need to get out of your living situation. Where there is a will there is a way. I know that you don't want to leave him behind but I think it's time for you to start being better to yourself and get out of there. It will be like taking a band-aid off fast and it will hurt a whole lot moving out and cutting off ties with him, but right now you are peeling it off slowly and it is not helping you. Believe me I totally empathize with you and know how you are feeling, but I also know the only way to get better is to get out of there. You don't deserve to be around some asshole that is dating girls and telling you about it, which is ultimately making you feel worse. So be good to yourself and find out some way to get out of there. Good luck

**basilandthyme** · 15-02-13, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by michelle23

She is trying to leave lol. That is why we are giving her advice.

No she's not. She's making excuses as to why she can't leave. I don't believe for one moment that the rental contract stipulates that two people have to live there...or that there's no method for ending the contract early.

**basilandthyme** · 15-02-13, 04:01 AM

Originally Posted by michelle23

He treated her badly toknow and is still treating her badly now.

You're conveniently forgetting that he dumped her because she was behaving badly to him. She's not 100% victim here.

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