Almost 5 days in a Long-Distance Relationship

[Wakeup]

Why did that scene from the old 40's movie "Of Mice and Men" just flash before my eyes?

"The rabbits is soft, George"

[Kromat83]

really ? why ?

I'm not making it out to be like this is 100% certain, but it's not like we have
to lose contact because of it, we can still support each other being at this distance.

There's no physical contact at the moment, but i still like hearing from her.

I'm more focused about bettering myself here in Canada,
because that is what I'll need to live with, for the rest of my life ...
love can come and go, but my career will stay with me for a very long time.

[Rowen]

I'm more focused about bettering myself here in Canada,
because that is what I'll need to live with, for the rest of my life ...
love can come and go, but my career will stay with me for a very long time.

^ The reason why your next relationship will fail.

Don't get me wrong; everyone needs to better themselves in their own situation. Nevertheless, you can't be swayed to either side. You can't say screw your entire life and drop everything for one person. At the same time, you can't expect that person to be play dough to mold AROUND your work situation. Not many people put up with their loved ones always putting their job before their lover. You need to have a balance. Work but play too... Don't focus so much on your work life that it defines who you are. But don't focus on your love life so much that it defines who you are either. Let both of them complement your existence as a human being. Work hard like hell, but don't lose sight of those who matter most to you. This is ESPECIALLY applicable if you one day become a father. Believe me; no child wants a father that they never see.

[fearoflove]

really ? why ?

I'm not making it out to be like this is 100% certain, but it's not like we have
to lose contact because of it, we can still support each other being at this distance.

There's no physical contact at the moment, but i still like hearing from her.

I'm more focused about bettering myself here in Canada,
because that is what I'll need to live with, for the rest of my life ...
love can come and go, but my career will stay with me for a very long time.

You can't have that attitude. For long distance relationships, you either decide to make it work or you don't even bother with it. Just hanging around, seeing how things go, putting it in the back burner just means it will fail.

[toknow]

Kromat,

Don't give up on her.

(Nevermind post below - I thought you were from different countries)
Sometimes people from two different parts of the world click better than when they are from the same country. This can be also very intriguing because you are entering a new world, with different ways of thinking, and it could be very interesting an a lot of fun to get to know the person.

[VincenzoG91]

vincenzo, the pie chart is close. But it missed the 'getting your needs met by someone local'. Or, if that comes under the 'other' category, I think the purple pie should be larger.

Maybe "getting your needs met by someone local" falls under resentment.

[Kromat83]

I'm still going to put in the effort, but i also need to better myself.
I am planning to balance both, as I am the one that wants this to work and will try until it just isn't realistic or sense to pursue further.

She's not here with me in Canada and we have limited time to communicate,
so i might as well be comfortable with where I'm at.

I was born in Poland and speak her language, so that's not the problem, it's the physical aspect that I'm missing, but there's nothing i can do about it, and have to see how things turn out in 5 months time.

Why am i being the bad guy here ? she's the one that is having doubts, but i can't go on with my life, just focusing on her 24/7.

I'm not putting my work ahead of her, it's just i want a better career for myself at the moment and want to spend some time on that.

With the time difference, we'll only be able to talk to each other at certain times on Skype through Webcam, and she wants to involve herself with activities as well, so I can't have her on a leash.

There's also daily e-mails, I'm also planning to mail some hand written letters, etc.

Hey Vince, about this quote ...

vincenzo, the pie chart is close. But it missed the 'getting your needs met by someone local'. Or, if that comes under the 'other' category, I think the purple pie should be larger.

I wasn't even looking for a relationship, even when i asked her out.
I wanted to hang out with someone for dancing, and the more we talked, the more connection we got, it all happened naturally, it's not like i planned this.

If i was searching, of course i would go for someone local, but i fell in love with this one, and that is how my life is at the moment.

[michelle23]

Why do a lot of you people see sex as a NEED. How the hell is it a need? Is it not more of a want?? You have a right hand for the NEED! LOL or a dildo...

"getting my needs met locally" sounds fairly selfish and narcissistic to me actually.

No wonder divorce rate is so high. A lot of you people seem to think that sex is much more important than anything else. Dont get me wrong-I do believe it is vital in a relationship but when single... no its not important to me.

[Kromat83]

Why do a lot of you people see sex as a NEED. How the hell is it a need? Is it not more of a want?? You have a right hand for the NEED! LOL or a dildo...

"getting my needs met locally" sounds fairly selfish and narcissistic to me actually.

No wonder divorce rate is so high. A lot of you people seem to think that sex is much more important than anything else. Dont get me wrong-I do believe it is vital in a relationship but when single... no its not important to me.

Who are you responding too ? some of the other posters ?
I don't like some of the responses that i'm getting, because i want to work on my career and better my life .... i can do both, it's not like I've been neglecting her.

I sent her 2 videos already, and a poem today that i read over webcam.
I'm also providing daily e-mails with quotes, and send a message, if i want to know something or what works for the next time we chat.

[Cerby]

Why do a lot of you people see sex as a NEED. How the hell is it a need? Is it not more of a want?? You have a right hand for the NEED! LOL or a dildo...

"getting my needs met locally" sounds fairly selfish and narcissistic to me actually.

No wonder divorce rate is so high. A lot of you people seem to think that sex is much more important than anything else. Dont get me wrong-I do believe it is vital in a relationship but when single... no its not important to me.

For many of us in modern relationships, it comes with the territory. Sex isn't MORE important, but just AS important as the other elements (imo). Unless you're involved in the old fashioned belief of waiting until marriage or something like that, then no sex really means no relationship. You're just really good friends at that point. There are some who subscribe to the thought about it being a want and not a need in this forum, but the concensus among regulars here is that if you're not having some kind of physical intimacy in your relationship, you're probably wasting your time.

[Kromat83]

There are some who subscribe to the thought about it being a want and not a need in this forum, but the concensus among regulars here is that if you're not having some kind of physical intimacy in your relationship, you're probably wasting your time.

Most people when they are older, rarely have sex anymore, does that mean that they love each other less ?

Sex is an expression of 2 persons, sharing their love for each other,
but if it needs to wait for them to be together, time will tell, how much
they truly love each other, or it was just something to pass the time.

I am keeping my hopes up, as my life will go on, with or without her, but would
be a lot nicer, because we could continue what we felt when we were around.

[HeartIsAching]

Most people when they are older, rarely have sex anymore, does that mean that they love each other less ?

Define "older".

[Kromat83]

Like 40s and 50s i might think, after their children have grown up.
I am fine with no sex for a while, if it works out in the long run.

I might to make sure there's still that love for each other, by the time i visit.

[surfhb2]

Like 40s and 50s i might think, after their children have grown up.
I am fine with no sex for a while, if it works out in the long run.

I might to make sure there's still that love for each other, by the time i visit.

HaHa!! Dude....Youre killing me! Once there is no sex, theres no relationship.....thats a general fact...even when you're 90

I think you need to grow up and then you'll see this long distance stuff just doesnt work. But who knows? I hope it works out.

[ashley89]

if you wait around to finally see this chick you'll probably be in your 40s and 50s at that point, lmao