Found the girl I want to spend my life with. Should I move on or keep trying?

[havermoutpap]

She broke up with her boyfriend for various reasons this weekend. I expressed my feelings immediately after and she said she might feel the same way. We decided to slowly start dating beginning this friday!

[searock]

Yay ! Keep us updated, remember to keep it very slow and don't expect anything... after all she has just broken up with her long-term boyfriend, give her time. Also, don't give up if she seems sad or nostalgic sometimes... give her all the space and time she needs, but don't give up unless she explicitly tells you that she doesn't have romantic feelings for you and never will.

[Katrina4114]

I say go for it !

[HDBadger]

Dating a woman who literally just broke up with a long term boyfriend? You're probably going to be in for a ride. She hasn't even had a week to think about anything. Good luck.

[havermoutpap]

Dating a woman who literally just broke up with a long term boyfriend? You're probably going to be in for a ride. She hasn't even had a week to think about anything. Good luck.

Well actually she has thought about it for a while now, which is why things weren't going well with her current BF. She just put off the actual break-up cause she didn't want to create awkwardness between her and, what she sees him now as, her friend.

And besides that she wasn't 100% sure how I felt about, and now she does!

Thank you all for the feedback. I will post back on this thread in about a month or so to keep you updated!

[TheEvilJester]

From what you have shared with us, it definitely sounds like she likes you as well. But, that is really hard to tell without being closer to the situation. However, she is currently in a relationship. I have always felt that you DO NOT mess with that. Doesn't matter that she says she doesn't think it will last. That needs to be her decision.

Think of it like this: It is definitely okay if she happens to break up of her own accord, and then you ask her out. It is also okay for you to be the REASON her relationship ends, but not to be the CAUSE. What do I mean by that? If you are the reason she breaks up, this means you were 100% not in control. It means she wasn't happy in her current relationship, found that she likes you, and decided to end a relationship that wasn't happy anyway in hopes of being with you. Honestly, even that is somewhere where you have to be careful. After all, was it truly just an unhappy relationship that she should have ended anyway, or is she the type of person who always does this? Always gets bored and looks for "the next big thing?"

However, conversely if you are the CAUSE of her break-up, this means you specifically did something to make it happen or help push it along. By that I don't mean being there for her as a friend if things start going bad in her relationship. If it is something you would have said/done if you were just friends and nothing more, then no harm in saying/doing it as a guy sort of hoping she becomes available. However, if you actually go out of your way to try to cause her to leave him for you, then you are the cause. Not only does that mean you broke up a relationship (maybe it would have anyway, or maybe they'd have suddenly realize they were meant to be, you don't know and that is none of your business), but it also lends doubt to her character. If she is willing to dump one guy just to be with you, who is to say she won't later dump you for some other guy?

Right now, I would say the best thing you can do is remain close friends. If things do not seem to move along with her, then maybe it is time you move along yourself. But, no harm in keeping her as a friend either way. Certainly sounds like that relationship is on its last leg anyway. So, maybe it will just be a matter of time before you can safely make a move. If not, you owe it to yourself not to wait around forever. Though, if you can handle just being friends, that is fine too. Then, you still never know. But, if you find it too hard to be just friends, and it does not seem like it will become an option any time soon, best to move along.

[FlaCooln]

I had a realationship that started like this somewhat...

Met a girl in my college course on the first day, she became my buddy, and we had to do quite a few projects together. I was attracted to her instantly and her to me as well. Well, a few weeks in we started hanging out more, watching a movie after studying, me staying for dinner, etc.

After dinner/watching a movie w/her one night we were sitting right next to each other and she was kindo of leaning on me (cuddling a little bit), so I told her that I liked her and wanted to kiss her. She said she had a BF (which I didn't know at the time) and was in a LDR that was not going well. Funny enough not 5 minutes later the BF called, she went upstairs to talk, argument ensued and she broke up with him on the spot. She came downstairs said she broke up with her BF and gave me a big kiss. She then told me that she had been wanting to break up with him since she met me.

So, IMHO tell her how you feel and see how it goes. You can always make more friends.

[DalM0m]

I'm happy for you, that she picked you but go slow. She may need more time than she thinks to process the end of that relationship. You don't want to be rebound guy.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's good she chose you, but all the "madly in love" talk needs to stop for now.

[TheEvilJester]

Wow. Sorry I missed your update! That is really cool! Good for you. I would agree with DalM0m. Take things slow. Now that you know you two are together, you can relax a bit and enjoy each other. Whether or not she felt over it even without you in the picture, she still just broke up with a long term boyfriend. She may need a little time to deal with that. Ideally, that should have come before you got together, but since she really did seem mostly over it, no harm done. Still, take your time. If this turns out to be the real thing, you two have all the time in the world. Good luck!

[FAndrews]

Best of luck, and take it slow and steady ; its nice to hear a good result on here