Ex just broke up with me after 7 months out

[geejay78]

She isn't a ****ed up person no 0- she's wonderful and very intelligent actually but she's just very confused and complicated and it's just a a total head**** for me to try and understand

[searock]

No, she just isn't the right partner for you. You really need to move on.

[smackie9]

She isn't a ****ed up person no 0- she's wonderful and very intelligent actually but she's just very confused and complicated and it's just a a total head**** for me to try and understand

No it's you that continues to be confused because you deluded yourself into thinking she would change. "How could she not change? she is in love with me so it has to be!" NOT! You need to accept the fact she doesn't want to marry you or anyone else...she doesn't want to your babies...nadda. It's only been 7 months, it's not like she dragged it on for 2 years. She's sad yes but she knows what she wants, so leave her be so she can move on.

[smiling100]

She isn't a ****ed up person no 0- she's wonderful and very intelligent actually but she's just very confused and complicated and it's just a a total head**** for me to try and understand

If you can handle the emotional roller coaster/head f**k involved with her then go for it.

Doesn't sound like fun to me if deep down you want to be exclusive with her?

How would you feel if she told you that she found a really nice guy who she wants to have an exclusive relationship with?

Just because she doesn't want a relationship with you & says she prefers to be single says to me she hasn't found the right guy yet?

[geejay78]

I agree - it's not necessarily that she's bad news, she just isn't the right woman for OP.

How do you know that? The thing that is strange is that when you meet her she is beautiful, confident, on-the-ball, funny etc..ticks all the boxes but she has been seeing a therapist nearly 2 years and goes twice a week which is very worrying. Quite often she goes to see her therapist on a Monday then comes over to mine but NEVER talks about her problems or what how the therapist is helping her. I've never seen her panic attacks or bad bouts of anxiety but she tells me she gets them all the time.

It's a real shame cos she's a lovely girl and I do have strong feelings for her but since Monday when she broke up with me, I've started to get over her quicker than expected and am 50/50 I could ever get back with her now. It's funny - when you break-up, the hazu cloud of love and lust that you become consumed by goes and then you start to look more at your ex's bad points and realise why you didn't address them so much at the time.

I guess it's because we both needed someone, had amazing sex and ultimately became good friends. I just worry at my age (35) that I'll have to play the whole 'single and dating' game again and wish I could just stay with one woman..I thought it would be her and then this happened. I don't get much luck with keeping women.

It's the third time in 3 years I've broken up with a girl (been dumped twice and dumped someone once) so sometimes it gets a bit much and I wonder if it's me or I'm just choosing the wrong girls and being unlucky

[searock]

Well, I don't know about the other times but this time you could have avoided yourself the pain of this break up if you had just listened to what she told you at the beginning, i.e. that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

[smiling100]

How do you know that? The thing that is strange is that when you meet her she is beautiful, confident, on-the-ball, funny etc..ticks all the boxes but she has been seeing a therapist nearly 2 years and goes twice a week which is very worrying. Quite often she goes to see her therapist on a Monday then comes over to mine but NEVER talks about her problems or what how the therapist is helping her. I've never seen her panic attacks or bad bouts of anxiety but she tells me she gets them all the time.

It's a real shame cos she's a lovely girl and I do have strong feelings for her but since Monday when she broke up with me, I've started to get over her quicker than expected and am 50/50 I could ever get back with her now. It's funny - when you break-up, the hazu cloud of love and lust that you become consumed by goes and then you start to look more at your ex's bad points and realise why you didn't address them so much at the time.

I guess it's because we both needed someone, had amazing sex and ultimately became good friends. I just worry at my age (35) that I'll have to play the whole 'single and dating' game again and wish I could just stay with one woman..I thought it would be her and then this happened. I don't get much luck with keeping women.

It's the third time in 3 years I've broken up with a girl (been dumped twice and dumped someone once) so sometimes it gets a bit much and I wonder if it's me or I'm just choosing the wrong girls and being unlucky

I'm sure in time you will come to terms that she probably had to much baggage.

This is the third time in 5 years i've gone through a break up myself.

Once you recover focus on yourself & don't rush into anything new. The last thing on my mind right now is to want to jump into another relationship

[geejay78]

So a week after she dumps me, I send her an email saying that I enjoyed my time with her but respect her decision to end it...if she wants to see me she know where I am etc..and we can be friends. Then she calls me and leaves a message on my answerphone saying she wants to meet me for coffee after she gets her hair done. I don't call her back but she texts me within an hour saying she's...and I quote..

'really shit at emailing and thought it would be better to maybe meet. I think it would be nicer to see one another and chat and I could also give you your birthday card. I don't want us not being friends. I can wait around until you finish work.'

Should I meet her? I'd like to stay friends with benefits but am not sure she will and can't take any further rejection from her or drama. Should I just meet her and be all happy, play it cool, keep it short then say I have to go? I'm a bit worried

[searock]

We all know that you're going to go ahead and meet her no matter what we say, so why bother asking us? We already told you repeatedly that you should go no contact with her and move on with your life.

[smiling100]

Should I meet her? I'd like to stay friends with benefits but am not sure she will and can't take any further rejection from her or drama. Should I just meet her and be all happy, play it cool, keep it short then say I have to go? I'm a bit worried

If you can you handle emotional roller coaster ride sure do it?


Other than that I agree with Searock

[smackie9]

If you go I think it will be more for closure rather than working it out. Maybe she would like to just button things up and send you off properly.