Four Months After EX-Broke Up with me and i still cant get over them

[FrogStomp1995]

Four Month ago my-ex girlfriend broke up with me after coming back from a 10 week charity trip to Borneo. Before she went on this trip we were together for three month, but everything was fine and we both agreed to do things together when she got back, like go on holiday and travel with each other. Whilst she was out in Borneo i sent her letters and blog messages, but she never replied to any of them, so i thought that she could be busy doing the charity work, so i let it be (even though i did worry about her safety while she was there). So the day that she landed back in the UK, she didnt get in contact with me to let me know that she was home and the only way i found out that she was home was through a Facebook status. Seeing this i tried to get in contact with her, phoning her and texting her, but i had no reply at all from her and she wasnt picking her phone up. This really hurt me as I wondered what the hell was going on.

The day after i tried again, rang her mobile to no answer and then phoned her house number and managed to get through to her. However while she was on phone she seemed to be abit distant, but i put it down to her still being jetlagged from the flight home and she said to me to give her a few days to herself, so I did as she asked. However the morning after she text me saying that she needed to tell me something and that i woudnt like it..i knew then that she was breaking up with me, but i didnt want to do it over a text so i asked her to meet me.

When we met she said to me that we should break up, so i asked her why and she said that she wanted to go travelling on her own and make plans with no one, and that we should just be friends. I said to her that i coudnt be friends at the current time, but in time i will be, however though when i got back home, i saw some photos of her and this other guy she met out in Borneo, so i text her asking if she met someone else out there and she said no and it was only as friends.

A few week after we broke up and having no contact from her, i decided to send her a message on facebook just to see how she was and to see if we could talk about what happened with us and had no reply from that, but while i was on her profile i saw somethings posted on her wall that were from this guy in them photos, but i didnt think much of it as it wasnt anything pointing towards her being with him.

During last three month after sending that message, i would get in touch with her to see how she is and to ask if she wanted to catch up to have a chat, but everytime i sent a message i never got a reply, bar one time when she said "i think we need to give it more time before we do catch up", i was fine with this reply, and said to her to get in touch with me when she wants to talk.

However over the past few week ive been thinking about her alot and been realising how much i cared and loved (know its daft after being together for only three month, but she is someone who i thought was wonderful). So with this in mind i decided to get in contact with her again, asking if we could meet up and talk about things and to see if we could have a friendship again but once again i got no reply and i started to get really upset by this..i had no idea why she wasnt bothered about talking to me.

But recently ive found out that she is seeing the guy in them photos and its killing me to see her with him, for one it hurts that she lied to me saying that she didnt meet anyone she liked other than a friend and two for lying about being on her own for awhile..trouble is though I still cant get over her, and being friends with her could just make it worse for me, as i care about alot..I just dont know what to do about it all.

Any Advice people can give me would be helpful

Thanks Steve

[Gratedwasabi]

Sorry to break this to you but your ex had a fling in Borneo and/or probably felt suffocated by repeated attempts to contact her when she was not responding for a reason.

You need to respect that she ended it and move on. You don't need to nor should you be friends with her. Cut off all contact. Erase her phone number, take her off your facebook, get rid of all your photos of her.

She's made her decision, she's moved on, she's over you. It hurts to hear but it's true. You're only making it worse for yourself by continuing to try and contact her and facebook stalk her.

You did nothing wrong but it's over. Remove her completely from your life; she doesn't want to be friends.

[Boisdevie]

Sorry but your relationship is now ancient history. It happens. To all of us.

[ammi00]

I agree with ^^.
Excuse me, but 3 months is nothing. She was gone in that trip for 10 weeks, almost as much as your relationship lasted. I think it was obvious since then that she has moved on. In a relationship you just don't cut off communication while being apart. She was already annoyed by you trying to contact her (probably she thought that by not answering to you, while she was gone, it will be obvious that you 'broke up"?), that's why she never answered and she nedded "some days" after she came back.
I don't even think that you've loved her, or REALLY cared about her. You kept thinking about her, about her reasons for doing this, whether she wants something or not & so on - and her being on your mind all day long, made you believe you loved her.
Gratedwasabi said everything you have to do. Remove her from your life and mind and move on.