He'll be gone for a week...

[michelle23]

Ya hes showing a lot of red flags and just 4 months in you really should give him the boot and mean it.

My opinion on why guys do long distance: your there when he wants something but hes free to act single when your not around. He cant be trusted, hes an a**hole and you can do better.

I would never, ever do long distance. Not im a million years. Even if i was married to a guy and he wanted long distance for work reasons or whatever at some point in the future-i would tell him if hes working away without me, i want a divorce...

[smackie9]

It's obvious that your expectations are not being fulfilled, stop thinking he will change or things will miraculously be different if you hold out. Stop listening to his bull shit and break up with him.....

[HowdyHar]

So he called the phone I didn't block... He said he has his computer with him and he'd only be turning his phone off some of the time. x.x; that's not what I heard him say this morning. I can't be sure he got my messages or not. It could be he changed his story when he saw how angry I got and how ready I was to dump him. OR I could've misunderstood, or perhaps he just didn't provide enough information. Annoying.

[smackie9]

It just goes to show you how easily you are manipulated.......

[HowdyHar]

It helps if you shed more light on things than that ya know. People don't tend to mince words on here I can see, why hold back?

[HowdyHar]

I guess it's hard for me to care much as to if he's manipulating me or not, so long as I get what I want. How very unhealthy of me. :x

[smackie9]

Ding! Ding! ding! we have a winna!

[basilandthyme]

I'm going to take a different viewpoint to the others....perhaps because I'm old enough to remember when people would go on holidays and we'd be out of contact with them for a few weeks. I remember when my hubby had to go overseas for 3 weeks and I was absolutely thrilled (and satisfied) to receive one call from him. I think it's terrific when a person isn't so addicted to his phone that they can actually turn it off for a week. So, the fact that he's turning off his phone isn't alarming to me at all. Having said that, I think it would be nice to agree to a call on Christmas Day.

My main questions pertain to where he's going, why and with whom? Unless he's going to stay with his family who happen to be out of town, I'd be finding this trip away very odd.

[michelle23]

theres more issues here then just this one week. I went away without my bf once for 3-4 days. I called him each night. Now hotels provide free wifi and you can get free texts/calls etc or download skype. Its so easy to communicate-viber, watsapp etc.. a quick 5min chat each day doesnt kill anybody

[HowdyHar]

theres more issues here then just this one week. I went away without my bf once for 3-4 days. I called him each night. Now hotels provide free wifi and you can get free texts/calls etc or download skype. Its so easy to communicate-viber, watsapp etc.. a quick 5min chat each day doesnt kill anybody

I tend to agree, it's not hard to keep in touch with things as they are now. There isn't a good excuse not to. I'm all for someone enjoying themselves but I know for a fact there is downtime, and it'd be sad to think they didn't think of me at all. :/

I expect certain things and I'm demanding about them, and if the person doesn't try I don't really LIKE to let them go but I can. It's not that hard because I don't think my expectations and what I demand is anything that's not do-able. The kind of people that don't make the cut or stick around just aren't smart enough to realize I'd give em whatever they want from me so long as I get what I want from them. -shrugs-

[basilandthyme]

I tend to agree, it's not hard to keep in touch with things as they are now. There isn't a good excuse not to.

I'm not saying you have to like or agree with what he's saying, but isn't doing something because he wants to the best possible reason for him doing it? Or perhaps you'd rather him invent a lie......

[Wakeup]

I guess it's hard for me to care much as to if he's manipulating me or not, so long as I get what I want. How very unhealthy of me. :x

Oh great... that's like saying its okay that he treats me like shit as long as he gives me some crumbs in return. Its akin to a four year old settling for a spanking for taking a cookie that he wasn't given permision to have. Nothing matters as long as he gets the cookie. O.O

[hatesthis]

But he also said he's turning his phone off. It kind of made me mad to begin with because this vacation was kind of a surprise for him supposedly, and we'd planned to get together the Friday he's leaving. Then he tells me he really wants to go instead. I understood a bit, but I was disappointed because I hadn't seen him for a while. So he came down to where I live the next chance he got before his vacation, and it was really nice to see him... however, right before he goes on this vacation he tells me he will have his phone but he's turning it off, so I could still text him. I wasn't too pleased. I said, I wouldn't be able to contact him? He repeated. I said, it'd be like texting a wall. He said he's taking a vacation not a phone cation. He dropped this on me right before, and he'd told me before that that we could still talk on the phone, as a way to reassure me it would be alright.

What the ****?

My expectations have always been to keep in contact within this relationship, it's not like I expect more than one phone call a day, or at least often enough during the week he's gone to feel connected. What is he thinking? I'm kinda hurt.

Why didn't he invite you to go too, if a couple? If he is staying at a hotel ask him which one and call and ask for his room then, won't matter if his cell is off then. Do you think he didn't want to talk because someone else is going with him, and they don't know about you, or you about them and texting no one can obviously see what he types and no talking to be done. If he won't give you the hotel name, I would find that off too.

[HDBadger]

There may very well be issues in this relationship, but the phone thing isn't one of them.

There was a time --- like, not long ago --- when cellphones didn't exist, and when people went away, they --- gasp! --- didn't talk that much/at all.

If a person wants to get some space for a week or whatever, there is nothing wrong with that.

When I go on my little fishing vacations, I don't answer calls/texts/emails from work/family/gf if I have one, because THE REASON I GO AWAY IS TO GET AWAY FROM THE DIGITAL NONSENSE AND PEOPLE BOTHERING ME.

The last time I went away by myself and had a girlfriend, I gave her one phone call (I think) to tell her I was safe and chat for a few minutes, and sent her maybe one random text when I was leaving, and that was that.

The OP has been with this guy four months. Four. If he wants several days to himself, he's entitled. Often girlfriends want to "keep tabs" on their man when he's away. It shows a lack of trust and respect for his right to have some space. One call to tell her that the travel hasn't been bad and everything is okay is sufficient. No need to check in every day.

This is to say nothing of any other problems the OP and this guy might have. I'm speaking specifically about the phone thing.

[smackie9]

Well fishing is a way different vacation, than a tropical one where drinking and clubbing are on the addenda. To add this isn't the only thing that isn't sitting right in this relationship.