Guys whats your reasons for pulling away in the past?

[Boisdevie]

Ok so what if you already have had sex? And they acted normally afterwards but slowly started to fade? Normally I wouldnt have sex so soon but we spent a lot of time together so it felt natural, plus we are in our mid thirties so not about playing games.

Perhaps you're crap in bed. Or you look a bit porky when naked.

[dickriculous]

Being in your 30's doesn't make you immune to playing games, it just means that the ones who do play games are generally going to be a bit more sophisticated and subtle about it.

If I ****ed her and then left her shortly afterward...I know this isn't what you want to hear but the sex would have to be pretty damn shitty to make me do that. Like, I'd have to go down on her and smell trichomoniasis or something.

[cherryblossom20]

Ha I'm an ex dancer and size 8 (uk) and never had any complaints in the bedroom, plus he came back for more and when he left messaged me to say he had a great time with me. Yet didnt want to come and meet me and my mate for a drink (despite saying he would) he even said he woukd give me my coat back which I forgot in his car. Makes so sense to me.

[dickriculous]

1) A guy isn't actually going to tell you that you can't **** worth shit.

2) Even if you're generally good in bed and generally sexy, compatibility is a factor. You can still bore the **** out of a man in the bedroom if he's not genetically wired to respond to your specific pheromone profile or he's not personally into your style of boning.

3) They might just be looking for a **** or two and then move on. If you're a stripper then they might be assuming that you're just easy pussy that they can smash and then get their kicks elsewhere - in fact they might even conclude based on that alone that you are not relationship material. Not saying that's right but a lot of people still think that way.

[Brent29]

Perhaps you're crap in bed. Or you look a bit porky when naked.

Being porky when naked can be a turn off if its not well balanced to the point of just looking, well fat. Although I doubt that's the reason.

I don't think I've ever had any "bad" sex. Pussy is normally just good. I've been with women and it wasn't extremely exciting and sort of let me do all of the work the first time but it still felt good. If you're a man like me and know what you're doing, then you can get her to open up unless of course, she is just a prude or vanilla boring girl in bed. I have to take control more times then not. It would have to be really crappy as Dickriculous said, like a bad odor. Once I smell a bad odor, then I'm never coming back for seconds. Done deal.

[cherryblossom20]

I'm an ex ballet dancer quite the opposite!

But I do see where you are coming from... tbh I was disappointed in him but put it down to being nervous. I always think it takes a while to get the bedroom side of things sorted. He seemed very happy cuddling on the sofa all afternoon after we had sex so didnt dash off as you would expect.

[cherryblossom20]

When I say disappointed I mean in the bedroom - he didnt seem good at navigating himself around the female bits ha! I was a bit like surely at your age you should know the female anatomy!

[cherryblossom20]

Yeah I have a toned body but curves in the right place and flexible so guys generally dont complain! Dont get me wrong I'm not arrogant but I dont think my body or confidence in the bedroom is the issue. So perhaps it is just sexual compatibility because if I felt it he must of too.

[Starnique]

You want a guy to stay, you need to start acting like a sex kitten, and show sexual desire, not romantic clinginess. Heavy flirting, lookin hot, teasing them, pullin them in then pushing them back....sexual tension is key. The sexual build up drives them going crazy and them wanting more.

I get that kind of attention all the time. What about if I want more then sex? I don't want him to just desire me sexually and cant wait for the next go round. That's too easy. I want him to wanna be with me in all aspects of life. What happens after that? They have to emotionally want me too.

I have acted the way you described, sometimes on purpose sometimes not and it was just a sexual thing, so I want them to be into me totally. Its deeper then sex.

[cherryblossom20]

Exactly Starnique! I feel you cant win and kind of giving up with guys!

[cherryblossom20]

Yep I have no issue attracting guys either and literally they all stay they want commitment, to settle down even kids in the last guys case all unprompted by me yet they end up then going cold.

The last guy I dated was ridicously intense/insecure, had trust issues etc so I had my work cut out and felt myself slowly being suffocated by him all in just a week. We had sex and he was still attentive (he is the guy I mentioned earlier) but he started with drawing slowly and this is a guy who seemed petrified he would lose me. His exact words were I know your past (im a bit of a commitment phobe) so worried im going to screw things up!

[4 ratties]

I can't answer the question cuz I'm not a guy but I just wanted to say this happened to me tons of times. I would say 12 guys in the last couple years are all about me and then at the month mark, they fade away completly when I hadn't done anything wrong. I'm glad they didn't waste my time tho. I've been with my boyfriend for 14 months and have been living together for 9 months. I look at him sometimes and think "why did this guy stay around."

[basilandthyme]

this is a guy who seemed petrified he would lose me. His exact words were I know your past (im a bit of a commitment phobe) so worried im going to screw things up!

Could it be the commitment phobe thing which is driving them away? Any guy who wants commitment and has his head screwed on right would run a mile when he becomes aware that you're broken.

[smackie9]

I get that kind of attention all the time. What about if I want more then sex? I don't want him to just desire me sexually and cant wait for the next go round. That's too easy. I want him to wanna be with me in all aspects of life. What happens after that? They have to emotionally want me too.

I have acted the way you described, sometimes on purpose sometimes not and it was just a sexual thing, so I want them to be into me totally. Its deeper then sex.

Totally over you head. This is a dance of chase and being chased....holding off on sex. This isn't about sex but sex appeal mixed with a variety of other things like the art of good conversation, being mysterious, good sense of humor, intellectual, etc. You go in sexy with some innocence and femininity. Meeting up for a quick drink (your suggestion) then disappearing and repeat a few more times will have them intrigued. The trick is to be sexy but don't bring up anything about sex, don't say anything about how attractive they are etc. If they do try to quickly brush it off. If you don't make it about sex then they won't treat you like a sex object, but a lady. I know it's old skool but it works.

[smackie9]

It's kind of funny how you ladies complain about guys pulling away, when it's something that women do all the time. Look at all the thread posted by guys that are upset about girls losing interest. Well maybe it would be better answered if you apply your own advice that you have given to those guys.