So i got cheated on

[Wakeup]

My definition of strengt is far different to yours china. Im with backup. Co-dependant, weak people stay in miserable dysfunctional relationships that are full of pain, drama, stress, jealousy and trust issues.

You know the problem with this statement is that not everyone will end up in a miserable dysfunctional relationship due to a cheating incident. Nor will they be "full of pain, drama stress, jealousy and trust issues." You seem to think that no one can get over something like that and go on to live a happy successful life together when that just isn't true.

In this instance, I think they have not been together long enough to take the chance. They are still in the honeymoon stage for goodness sakes and they have this major negative to deal with. That doesn't spell good odds that they'd be able to overcome and due to the newness of the relationship, IMO it isn't worth trying to go on in this relationship if this has already happened when they both should be the only thing each other is thinking of.

And it takes a lot of strength and courage to walk away from someone you love who you know is bad for you.

This I agree with.

[Clicker]

Thanks for all the replies. Yesterday morning, i convinced myself ( after a sleepless night) i was going to break up with her after work. Thinking about this throughout the morning i felt horrible the whole time. But i kept thinking it was the right thing to do. Then i told my co worker about what happened. He always gives me good advice (not something i would tell my parents, i'm nothing like the rest of my family) He just told me to do what i truly felt right. Well what i really wanted was to stay with her.

To ease up her mistake she doesn't have very many friends so she was super excited to hang out with some friends from her school. Obviously that doesn't mean what she did was right at all. I'm still super bummed on it but i've decided to try kind of taking a break with her and start over. She's willing to do anything it takes and it honestly seams right. Or maybe i'm just scared to be hurt and alone? Also, i wouldn't say she's bi, but she wants to experience hooking up with a girl. I said well if you want that maybe it's best if you're single? she replied saying she just has always wondered what it's like but she wants to be with me more than anything. Also their kiss apparently lasted a minute ( lengthy i thought ) and then she stopped once she thought of me and went to go sleep on the other couch. Am i pathetic for going back to her? Also i don't want anyone to find out about this happening cause i'm embarrassed ( this lesbian is less than attractive) I guess my final thoughts are i want to see if this will work and maybe even make us stronger? But if it doesn't seam to be working it will be easier to end it and not on such a bad note? I'm not sure if what i'm doing is right.

[michelle23]

She wants to explore and try things with someone else other than you. It shows that she doesnt know what she wants or maybe shes too afraid to admit shes gay. Its not uncommon for lesbians to get married, have kids etc and then leave him for a woman..

If it was just a one off kiss that you knew for sure wouldnt be repeated then I would say give it a chance if you really want to but she told you she wants more than that.. so it would be unwise to continue this relationship

[chinagirl]

She's remorseful... That's more important. Give it one more try... If it doesn't work, you can always bail out of the relationship.

[Kokombos]

Your girlfriend is bisexual, that's the fact. It's your choice if you can put up with that or not.

You could have every guy's dream come true, unless you are highly insecure or uncomfortable with it. In that case, keep in mind that supressing her... let's call it "needs", can backfire later.

And btw, this is coming from someone who's GF is also bi, and I LOVE that.

[Wakeup]

Your girlfriend is bisexual, that's the fact. It's your choice if you can put up with that or not.

You could have every guy's dream come true, unless you are highly insecure or uncomfortable with it. In that case, keep in mind that supressing her... let's call it "needs", can backfire later.

And btw, this is coming from someone who's GF is also bi, and I LOVE that.

Oh look... someone who found someone who he's actually compatible with... Awesome!

You hear that, Op?

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Also their kiss apparently lasted a minute ( lengthy i thought ) and then she stopped once she thought of me and went to go sleep on the other couch

Talk about telling you what you want to hear?

Are you capable of having threesomes FFM (female/female/male) Op? Because if you're not, then you're going to get hurt again. There is absolutely no doubt about that. Not only that, but instead of coming to you and telling you about her "always wanting to be with a girl" she cheated on you to be with one.

Its too bad you're young and you don't have the strength to leave someone you're infatuated with. We all mostly have to figure things out on our own though so its understandable that you're willing to overlook everything but staying with her for the sake of staying.

Good luck... I hope you're not put through hell by any further infidelity actions.

[Clicker]

Trust me i was trying to ask her in the end what she really wants and she says shes always wondered but doesn't need to fulfill that wonder i guess. I definitely don't think shes gay, she knows she likes guys but is just open to trying other things... which i don't think will happen or obviously i wouldnt be trying again. Even if she was bi i'd be fine with that, i have a lot of gay friends and people who are bi and everything... Having a 3some with 2 girls sounds great! but i don't know if i'd be willing to do it with my girlfriend cause i think it might cause problems... Not with me but i can just see it going south haha.

I'm trying with her again cause i love her. I know you see it as infatuated and nothing too serious but to me it's worth it. Everyone has flaws including myself. I've made mistakes.. nothing to this caliber.

I can see how that seams like her telling me what i want to hear but honestly she didn't say that or even that she thought of me mid kiss or anything. She thought of me after... i know it doesn't mean much but it never went farther than a kiss and i'm ok with that. I knew she wanted to be with a girl when we first started dating, it wasn't something new to me.

Yeah you may be right, i'm a very shy person and meeting people is kind of hard for me. I hope it goes well obivously. In my girlfriends defence she was super drunk and i think this lesbian initiated the conversation about being gay... and she definitely lead the kiss. I know thats not saying much. she still kissed back and everything but i have no idea. I'm confused still but i've made a decision and i'm staying with it. I really appreciate all your advice i'm gonna be careful with this lady. Atleast for me she is quite honest. I've never really caught her in a lie before

[chinagirl]

Good for you clicker! I experimented on kissing with a girl awhile ago and I'm neither bi sexual or lesbian. I have friends who did the same and they're all happily married with their husbands.

I hope all goes well with you and your gal.

[Wakeup]

Yea but did y'all cheat on your boyfriends to do it?

[chinagirl]

She wanted to experiment plus she was drunk. So she made a mistake and he's willing to let it go. Ultimately, it's his life, this is what he wants and he made his decision! Good for him!

[Clicker]

Thank you Chinagirl, I think you have been the most open minded. Its nice to have outsiders oppinions so i'm grateful for all the replies. I think you guys have more experience in relationships than me. Especially Wakeup ( who may be a little bitter) But i appreciate everything and thanks for helping me out when i was feeling bummed

[Wakeup]

Thank you Chinagirl, I think you have been the most open minded. Its nice to have outsiders oppinions so i'm grateful for all the replies. I think you guys have more experience in relationships than me. Especially Wakeup ( who may be a little bitter) But i appreciate everything and thanks for helping me out when i was feeling bummed

I'm not "bitter" clicker... I'm simply being realistic rather then just giving a pat answer that anyone with a brain could tell you'd want to hear since you've already taken her back.

You may live a long and happy life but you've got a lot of hurdles to overcome that developed for you two in this very, very new relationship.

There can be nothing but good come from you hearing unromantic but realistic truths. Your gut is telling you something hence why you're hear posting and not just enjoying your reconciled relationship and I'm just bringing that perhaps something out for you to contemplate. Its the least I can do for you a stanger who came here for help is to open up all possibilities instead of just telling you to go for it when circumstance don't dictate that you do just go for it. Like I said, if you'd been married with children and many years invested in one another then I would have understood why china was encouraging you to carry on. When you're still in the honeymoon period and this has happened then that is a huge red flag about her proclivities and penchants that I feel would be negligent in not pointing out to you.

I wish you well but that won't stop me from telling you that you're going to need it.

Be well.

[michelle23]

China I am confused. Was it you who left your husband for cheating on you or am I getting you mixed up with someone else? Just asking coz if its you then you have really dramatically changed your opinion on infidelity.

OP best of luck to you. You have made your decision so I hope it all works out for you. Wakeup isnt bitter by the way. She knows the affect of infatuation and ignoring red flags throughout the honeymoon period coz we see it here a lot. And ultimately if your gf is gay or bi-then you may not be compatible unless you are willing to let her explore her sexuality on the side without it causing you emotional harm or you both want to explore it together.

But brushing it under the rug, ignoring her desires and hoping they will go away may lead to her supressing that side of herself causing future infidelity. So make sure you communicate openly and honestly to ensure your both being honest and your both happy.

China kissed a girl before-shes not gay or bi but that doesnt mean for sure that your gf not. Kissing a girl once when your young and forgetting about it is not the same thing as your gf openly admitting she wants to have sexual contact with a girl and "explore". Theres a huge difference

Anyway I hope it all works out for you.

[smackie9]

It was just a bloody kiss, and if the OP is willing to forgive and help her work through this all the power to him. At least this has opened their eyes to something that needs to be addressed. Who knows she might realize that this relationship is not what she wants.

[Clicker]

It was just a bloody kiss, and if the OP is willing to forgive and help her work through this all the power to him. At least this has opened their eyes to something that needs to be addressed. Who knows she might realize that this relationship is not what she wants.

You hit the nail on the head there. She just broke up with me. But i think i feel better about it. Should've just listened to the majority. I feel like a chump big time