How much can the past incide on a relationship? Is it time to breakup?

[Jasmine_87]

Taking what seriously? dontaskme relax, just offering an opinion.. my thoughts exactly this is the internet and I'm just taking proper precautions so as to not give out shitty advice.

[dontaskme]

Hmm, think about what you said there for a minute.... You don't think your advice is shitty? Lol!

[michelle23]

We read the qs and give advice based on the info we have. If your unclear about something or need more info-ASK! Dont attack the OP and make all sorts of ridiculous assumptions. He said hes been putting up with this for ages, has explained himself plenty of times and is now lost as to what to do with this girl. She is being abusive bringing up the same shit over and over and causing repeated drama and stress over it. If she cant get over it and believe him then they need to break up. A 7month short term relationship isnt worth fighting for if its full of pain, drama and stress. Whats the point? Hes banging his head off a brick wall

[Wakeup]

Sorry, but nothing about his Girlfriend sounds abusive or controlling. If you listen carefully, it is easy to recognise that he is the controlling one. Read his previous forum post, he overthinks and is probably fabricating parts of the story just to get off on his Girlfriend, who may in fact be a very understanding person, copping the brunt of this.

He should be discussing these issues with her if he wants to resolve this. Not once did he suggest that he would be willing to do that. He jumped straight into a "break up" discussion with us. He clearly has other plans. Neither will he shed light on what it was that he actually did. No true friend would ever put another friend's relationship in jeopardy without good reason.

Did you NOT read that he has discussed this with her ad nauseam yet she still accuses him of shit?

Yes, Op you can do better then this insecure "twat." Break up with her... you have my permission.

[SpiritInLove]

Guys relax.. I didn't mean to make you start fighting between each other

I posted here because sometimes complete strangers give you great advises

The point is: I made a mistake in my past with my ex. My actual GF came to know about this mistake 1 month ago and it is always affecting our relationship: she gives me shit over stupid things, she says she can't introduce me to any of his friends, she's always aggressive and so on.

And, since some of you are asking, the mistake I did with my ex (that lead to breakup) was the following: I invited a group of friends over my place - we got drunk - and I passed out in the bed with 2 women and a friend of mine (man). The speculation was and is that I did something in that bed. I'm not a pedophile or whatsoever, it's a mistake made with another person and 1year ago that continue to afflict me.

Just yesterday guess what? I go to pick GF up. I wait 30 mins for her downstairs, I call her on mobile phone.. no reply. So I call home, thinking she fell asleep, and she comes down. When she comes she gives me attitude: "why you call me at home, I know I have to come down!" - in a very aggressive way. I reply: "chill, I just called to make sure you did not fall asleep since I was waiting for long" She: "Don't tell me to chill!" Me: "Chill, I think you need to calm down now" She: "I said don't tell me to chill!" Me: "Whatever" She: "Don't whatever me!" - Silence and continue to drive and after few seconds.. She: "Just leave me home!" and ofc I stop the car and leave her home. What did she expect, that I go like "please my love.. I'm sorry I called you home and told you to chill.. stay with me..". No way I would ever do it and I'm thinking this is the breaking point.. so tired of so much attitude and aggression.

More advice is always appreciated

[TablesandChairs]

She's a psycho. I don't know anyone who would get this bent out of shape over nothing. God help you if you ever actually did do something wrong.

For now, I think your best bet is to say 'Okay, if you don't trust me, I'll make it easy for you' and go forth and enjoy your life without being put on the stand every 5 minutes.

[dontaskme]

To all the people who sided with the GF, lol!!! I told you she's a twat and a psycho bitch!

[lovebroken]

Hi all,

Will make my story very very brief.

My GF approx 1 month ago heard some stories from her friends about my past. Something not nice I did when I was with another girl (almost cheating).

I told her my version of the story, I just did not admit certain points of her friends story because were not true and exaggerated.


She never believed me but always believed her friend "that is looking out for her".

Still, yesterday, we fought again about it.
She says that she does not believe I am an honest person because "when I do something bad I lie to myself and not want to admit to myself and to the world"

While in reality I admitted almost everything, just some parts I did not because I can't admit something I did not do.

For this, she says she will never believe me and if she finds me in any similar situation she will never believe me and for this since I have "bad reputation" she will never be able to introduce me to any of her friends.

Then I reply "one day you will understand you're wrong to think bad about me" and she "we will see".

The nights goes on and we pretend as nothing has ever happened but.. I start to ask myself..

Do I want to be with someone that thinks so bad about me?
At the end I never wronged her, I just cannot admit certain aspects of the story she heard

I'm so disappointed actually, I cannot continue to pay for past mistakes and I don't think I am willing to continue to accept this coldness that continues for a month.. why she just doesn't break up with me if she believes I'm not an honest person? - she said the only reason why she continues to be with me is because I never made mistakes with her during these 7 months but then why every time we are having a good night she has to mention this story making me feel bad? why does she have to "keep me" secret? who the **** cares about what people think?

Any advice would be really appreciated. I don't know if I have to break up, if I have to give it more time.. or if I have to continue receiving hits/coldness and be quiet about it.

I really love this girl but I just cannot continue to stand anymore to be judged and to have someone next to me that does not support or believe me.

Thanks!

She sounds scared of you hurting her, cheating on her and the stories told by her friends about you increased that worry and fear she already had, and she over reacted on you, was she cheated on in the past and projecting his damage on her onto you? If she cannot trust you, you should break, no good for either of you to continue with no foundation of trust on her side for you, she may always suspect you are lying and will always cause a rift. You sound unhappy, so does she off your other post. Maybe the relationship has run its course?

[Wakeup]

Guys relax.. I didn't mean to make you start fighting between each other

I posted here because sometimes complete strangers give you great advises

The point is: I made a mistake in my past with my ex. My actual GF came to know about this mistake 1 month ago and it is always affecting our relationship: she gives me shit over stupid things, she says she can't introduce me to any of his friends, she's always aggressive and so on.

And, since some of you are asking, the mistake I did with my ex (that lead to breakup) was the following: I invited a group of friends over my place - we got drunk - and I passed out in the bed with 2 women and a friend of mine (man). The speculation was and is that I did something in that bed. I'm not a pedophile or whatsoever, it's a mistake made with another person and 1year ago that continue to afflict me.

Just yesterday guess what? I go to pick GF up. I wait 30 mins for her downstairs, I call her on mobile phone.. no reply. So I call home, thinking she fell asleep, and she comes down. When she comes she gives me attitude: "why you call me at home, I know I have to come down!" - in a very aggressive way. I reply: "chill, I just called to make sure you did not fall asleep since I was waiting for long" She: "Don't tell me to chill!" Me: "Chill, I think you need to calm down now" She: "I said don't tell me to chill!" Me: "Whatever" She: "Don't whatever me!" - Silence and continue to drive and after few seconds.. She: "Just leave me home!" and ofc I stop the car and leave her home. What did she expect, that I go like "please my love.. I'm sorry I called you home and told you to chill.. stay with me..". No way I would ever do it and I'm thinking this is the breaking point.. so tired of so much attitude and aggression.

More advice is always appreciated

Whats wrong with YOU that you stick around for her attitude and lack of loving actions. Is the sex THAT good?

[SpiritInLove]

Yes unfortunately the problem is also that.. she is smart, funny, beautiful and sex is great.

After that episode she tried to call me several times but I ignored her.

After 1 day she sends me a text saying: "You want to keep ignore my calls? Fine, let's do it for good then"

My reply was: "Look, you gave me attitude and been aggressive over a very small thing. You killed my pride and showed me little respect. Just imagine the whole story the other way around and you may understand how I feel."

Guess what? one day passed and no reply to this text and now I don't know if we are still together or not.. If we have to break up I would want to do it at least in person but I really don't want to be the first one to text her now.

[TablesandChairs]

Has she always been a bitch or is this something new? Luckily the sex is good and she's provided you with some eye-candy...how much you want to pay for that is up to you.

[SpiritInLove]

She has been this bitch since she heard that famous story about my past

[SpiritInLove]

Okay Guys we broke up.

I was actually surprised it has been a very clean one and she started crying.

I told her basically that I cannot tolerate that disrespect and that behavior anymore

She replied it's since that she heard that story of my past that cannot remove from her mind and can't help to get angry about everything

I told her we have to ways 1. We give it one more month, we put decision day on calendar and we see how it goes. 2. We part ways now if you cannot leave what I did in the past because I really cannot accept to be treated this way.

She said I already tried one month to leave this story behind and I really cannot.. one month from now will be the same.. so better to part ways now

I said yes okay I agree with that. Just know that you will never find a man with a clean past. We can accept things did not work out between us then.

Then she started crying saying we were so good together.. we could have been so happy.. I will miss you so much.. I will always love you.. please don't go with someone else too soon at least, I will be very hurt from that

I said you will always have an important space in my heart and I will always remember our 7 months with a smile and with respect

Then we hugged, kissed and parted ways...

It was the cleanest breakup I ever had.. and somehow the saddest.. but I believe it's for the best. I don't feel angry at her and I will remember our beautiful memories together with respect and joy for real.

I really did not want to insist to bring it on for one more month.. maybe it's for the best and it's better to start over with someone that does not judge me over my past and I recognize also it's time for me to make things right.. without rushing them.

Opinions are always appreciated right now.. I am in the post-breakup phase right now.. and strangely it appears to me a sad period.. but at the same time PEACEFUL..

[Wakeup]

I think you've done the right thing. Now you are free to find a nice woman who will respect you and who will be fun to be around.

All the best to you.