Live the Dream...or...? advice please!

[shantty587]

everything is true (the $40 million, the real life friendship) we've known each other for almost 30 yrs!

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first marriage was long term, i perfectly understand why he left. the 2nd marriage was to an emotionally abusive woman. don't stereotype pls

[Wakeup]

don't stereotype pls

:lolzzz... Please don't tell us what to do. BTW: the further info on his past marriages don't endear him any further. He's still a twat.
I think you should just go and screw him for awhile and figure out if he's the real deal to this distasteful fantasy you've had going on with him all these years, get it out of your system. Perhaps you could do it on the sly and then go back to your husband like you'd wish you could do.

Because:

You have been fvcking over your husband for a lot of years by carrying on with this millionaire cuckhold and sharing your emotional self with him so why not consummate it?

If that suggestion goes against your grain then maybe you could tell your husband of your "dilemma" and the two of you could set the old rich twat up and milk him for half a mil or so and then carry on in your marriage while sharing the spoils of your advance with the ole hubs.

Now THAT'S having your cake and keeping it to.

[Lilly328]

You really didn't have to bring up how rich he is so many times in my opinion. Would you feel that same if he didn't have that?

If my husband is a good guy who don't emotionally and physically abused me, i would stick with that great man. No money in the world can seduce me.
Anyway, that is just me. If you want to try out with that guy, i say talk to your husband first. He deserve to know. I do find it unfair if for say, it didn't work out with that guy if you went with him, you will go back to your husband.

I also agree with "basilandthyme" about the respect thing.

[shantty587]

appreciate all the replies, advice.

[shantty587]

thx, i only mentioned the $$ more than once because i replied to a few comments about it i.e. those questioning if it was real or cyber imagined. not meant to impress.

thx to all who wrote, your thoughts have helped me.

[Lilly328]

Think carefully. You know some women would love to have a good man and be in a long marriage where he's not a prick. Consider yourself one of the lucky one. Who brought up the relationship thing, him (older dude) or you?

[shantty587]

thx lilly. hard to answer that one. we have always had an intense 'draw' to each other and overtime the friendship would grow to possibly the next level (and he was always ready for me to join him in life) i backed away. partly anxiety about such a drastic decision, the thought of leaving my good husband..but even though we live far apart we are always 'connected' emotionally. neither of us cuts the tie for more than 6 mo w/o communicating. why oh why can't i just make a decision and end this fence sitting? well, i truly love my husband... but ... but ....

[basilandthyme]

You say you truly love your husband. But if this were true, you would not be contemplating leaving him.

I'll come right out and suggest that you don't love him and are clinging to him because of your vows. But he deserves better than someone who would contemplate leaving him for a better lifestyle. Just go.

[friendsfirst]

well, i truly love my husband... but ... but ....

I don't think you do either. I think you should leave and do what you've already done in your head. Your husband would feel extremely betrayed by your thoughts. I think it's time you sat down and had a heart to heart with your hubby and told him and did you thing. Don't worry, it won't last long. There won't be any trust in a relationship with the other guy. You will drive each other crazy worrying about cheating. Have fun.

[shantty587]

it's hard to describe a man to you whom u don't know. my friend (and my husband) are not the 'cheating, wandering type'

[friendsfirst]

I can make no judgement on your husband being that type, but quite obviously you and your "friend" are.

[Wakeup]

... checkmate ...