Ok this is sad, but what do you talk about on the phone?

**Lloyd95** · 11-10-05, 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by TAVS

Watch it Lloyd. *glaring eyes*
Actually I think she's pretty smart. Hell, even the owners of the company we work for are into Nascar.

Ask him what the drivers would do if they threw a right turn into the race.

**Vanilla Gilr** · 11-10-05, 03:48 AM

Originally Posted by carpflounder

I usually arrange a time to meet and just let her know how my day is going. I dont talk 1+hours.......I'm not in some fake (internet or phone sex relationship). If I want to talk to her about important stuff or just heart to heart I do the traditional face to face.. everyday....but hey maybe I'm just weird.

Afterall, why be in the presence of your significant other when you could just talk on the phone?

Do it Debunkt's way...I'm sure you'll feel really close to her.

When you live two hours away from each other, and you each work about 10 hours a day and only get to really be with each other on the weekends..that's when you use the phone alot to keep in touch and just feel connected. It's not like it's a first choice

**Debunkt** · 11-10-05, 05:36 AM

seriously. I CAN'T see my gf whenever I want to. The invention of the phone is a godsend. Plus there is a lot about a phone that can help you realize things about the two people involved. Anyone can be comfortable face to face and have lots to say, because there's always something around the two of them that is common and easy to talk about. When you're on the phone, it really tests your ability to be comfortable and interested in everything that other person has to say. Also, it helps to know how personal and intimant you can make a seemingly very distant and stale situation. When you can do that, you know everything is emotionally and personally rockin between both people. I think if you CAN'T talk on the phone well, you don't emotionally connect as well as you think with the other person. (and I used to chalk it up to not being a 'phone-person' too, but don't pull that shit. its bullshit. it doesn't matter where you are when you're saying something, it matters what you say and how you say it)

**TAVS** · 11-10-05, 05:39 AM

I think you're wrong there. My best friends have known me for almost 20yrs and I'd never talk to them on the phone for more than 5-10 minutes.

**Debunkt** · 11-10-05, 06:00 AM

Best friends rarely understand you as well as your mate should.

**shh!** · 11-10-05, 06:05 AM

My best friends understand me more than my mate, but then again, they are my sisters who have known me longer and are also female...

**Debunkt** · 11-10-05, 06:12 AM

yeah, guys suck. I don't expect to ever be as emotionally attached or as well understood by a guy as by my gf.

**shh!** · 11-10-05, 06:16 AM

I like males, and I didn't mean to sound as though I was minimizing them, but they are simply less complex than women and don't seem to be able to figure us out very well. We women sometimes have a hard time understanding ourselves!

**TAVS** · 11-10-05, 06:16 AM

Touche. But at the same time, unless you've beem in that place you really dont know what it might be like. You say someone doesn't really connect with another unless they can talk for 4hours straight X number of times a week, or whatever. But until you're in the shoes of someone who's not naturally talkative, you shouldn't really judge. Some people just dont have a knack for conversation, period. Fortunately for me, I'm finding I'm better at this skill than I was last time I dated....almost 5yrs ago.

**carpflounder** · 11-10-05, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by Vanilla Gilr

When you live two hours away from each other, and you each work about 10 hours a day and only get to really be with each other on the weekends..that's when you use the phone alot to keep in touch and just feel connected. It's not like it's a first choice

Why wouldn't you just date or "hopelessly fall in love" with someone nearby? Why 2 hours?

**carpflounder** · 11-10-05, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by Debunkt

I think if you CAN'T talk on the phone well, you don't emotionally connect as well as you think with the other person. (and I used to chalk it up to not being a 'phone-person' too, but don't pull that shit. its bullshit. it doesn't matter where you are when you're saying something, it matters what you say and how you say it)

I dunno maybe with a gf its different. Just some personal info 'bout me: my dad was hardly ever around. Not to watch my me play sports, take me to the playground, or just see me after school. He constantly traveled.

I cant say that I felt "closer" to him when he wished me "happy birthday" year after year on the phone. Or when I told him about some award I got or anything at all. Sure, I could talk "well" on the phone with him but I didn't feel particularly close to him....at least at those times.

Again, maybe I'm weird for valuing personal contact too much. Maybe its a part of my childhood which in retrospect helps me value real interaction more so than the phone.

**Debunkt** · 11-10-05, 07:36 AM

I'm not saying its bad to value that at all. I think when the phone is all you have, you value personal contact that much more. But thats just my perspective, and its what I have to do and plan on continuing to do because for now it gives me enough to be extremely satisfied with my relationship.

**BFTrick** · 11-10-05, 10:40 AM

look here trying to talk on the phone is kinda BS. you should be able to do it, for a good 5 minutes without preparation, and then you just keep going for as long as you can. once you cant think about anything else to talk about say "goodybye". its that easy. you shouldnt have to try to have long converstions, nor meaningful conversations. that will happen on its own.

**Vanilla Gilr** · 11-10-05, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by carpflounder

Why wouldn't you just date or "hopelessly fall in love" with someone nearby? Why 2 hours?

I didn't just decide to get involved with some random person who lived two hours away.

We were 18 when we met, lived in the same city...worked in the same place. He was my first love...we were young...wanting different things at the moment we drifted apart and lost contact.

Years later he came looking for me

and we just fell back into the groove...we just happen to live two hours away from each other at the moment...

Won't always be so.

**blackiesharley** · 11-10-05, 10:10 PM

What Tone said, and I might add laughter and humor. VERY important in phone interaction.

Also, I've found it better to sometimes be the one to end the conversation shortly than drag on with long moments of silence. 'I've got to walk the dog' or 'gotta run buy some milk, have a great night' or something like that. Often times less is more, leave them wanting more.

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