Ok this is sad, but what do you talk about on the phone?

[The-Kidd]

*The next three paragraphs are purely background information, the real question is at the bottom*

Ok, I do talk on the phone with friends a lot, however, there wasn't any real emphasis on talking. Normally, when we talk on the phone, its for some kind of purpose. Either assistance with something, to comment about something, or to inform about something (usually about plans to hang out). These phone conversations usually last for no more than 15 minutes.

Talking to people in the real world isn't a problem for me, because there is no huge emphasis on keeping a conversation as you can just turn it on and off and there is no big deal because hanging out isn't solely about talking. There is no such thing as an awkward silence in the real world (at least for me anyway) However, when talking on the phone, I assume that there is supposed to be some kind of constant conversation going on as awkward silences can be bad, but what is there really to talk about for several minutes just randomly?

When me and my ex talked on the phone, we would just discuss any recent events in our life, and then it would more or less just be dirty talk for the rest of the conversation. These conversations lasted about a good few hours, suprisingly as well. Of course, you can't just dirty talk to someone right off the bat, or it may not end very well. I hear often of people who talk on the phone for several hours, but how do you this and actually keep the conversation interesting and the awkward silences to a minimum?

*The real question is below*

There is a girl who I've known for roughly a month a now. I acquired her phone number a few days ago, and when I call her, I just want to know to say and be able to keep the conversation going. What do most people talk about on the phone to an intended future significant other?

[Debunkt]

Well I don't live near my gf, and every single conversation we have is 2-6 hours long. Just talk about you, her, your lives, tell personal stories, etc. Just talk about anything really. Simply, there's no set number of things you should/shouldn't talk about. The most important thing is your ability to be comfortable, outgoing, and really be able to gel and flow with the other person. If you can do this, you'll probably always have something to say. Lets face it, you can't PLAN a whole conversation.

[Tone]

Exactly what Debunkt said (man I like this guy!) you can't plan a conversation, so you just have to be good about talking and listening. If you listen well you can talk well, cause if you listen well you know what to talk about. Silly little example to show you what I mean:

She mentions goin to pick up her sister a couple hours ago. You can then ask "So do you have any other siblings?" And it just opens up a whole bunch of possible venues for conversation.

It's about listening well, being comfortable, and knowing a bit about improv.

[Maleber]

Exactly what Debunkt said (man I like this guy!) you can't plan a conversation, so you just have to be good about talking and listening. If you listen well you can talk well, cause if you listen well you know what to talk about. Silly little example to show you what I mean:

She mentions goin to pick up her sister a couple hours ago. You can then ask "So do you have any other siblings?" And it just opens up a whole bunch of possible venues for conversation.

It's about listening well, being comfortable, and knowing a bit about improv.

You are still a God

[moeburn]

i usually talk about how much i hate the phone and i can never think about anything to talk about. my gf agrees, so its all good.

[TAVS]

I wish I knew. I hate phone conversations. I talked to the girl I'm dating last night for 30 minutes on the phone. That took a lot of effort and mental preparation. Having an exciting weekend with plenty to talk about didnt hurt. I really dont have any advice as I have the same problem. I just accept the fact that I'm not the best conversationalist and try and plan an 'out' for when the conversation gets slow. I do much better face-to-face or over IM where I dont fumble through awkward silence.

Edit: You cant plan a conversation but you can be prepared with conversation ideas or topics.

[Lloyd95]

Exactly what Debunkt said (man I like this guy!)

UH-oh Tone, are you switching teams on us? Batting from both sides of the plate?

[Vanilla Gilr]

Watch the same show on TV together while you're on the phone. Just being connected with the other person can be comforting, and you can compare notes etc during commercials. Shows like American Idol, Survivor, Ghost Hunters..lend themselves well for this.

[Lloyd95]

Watch the same show on TV together while you're on the phone.

Just make sure one of you doesn't have satellite; as there is about a 3 second lag vs. cable.

[Tone]

Ghost Hunters!! My favorite! ^_^

[TAVS]

Oh, one more thing...... Read a lot of current events. When I'm not surfing LF at work, I'm reading up on world events, sports, etc. Or look up something specific....For example.... The girl I'm dating is into Nascar. I know nothing about Nascar so I spent some time on the Internet, and also watched a 60-minutes segment, on Nascar. The interest I showed was good for brownie points when I spoke with her.

[clynn]

Start off keeping the conversations short. Don't put big expectations on yourself to have long involved conversations. Nothing wrong with a brief 15 minute phone call.

Better to end the phone call on a high note when you're both chatty and have lots to say than after it has lagged and you've been grasping for stuff to talk about. Leave her wanting more, that sort of thing....(and you will too).

Really....if you give it time and you both like each other enough, then I think over time you'll be spilling over with stuff to talk about.

I find with my boyfriend over time we've not "found' things to talk about .... it is more like topics come up that we feel we just must talk about.

[Lloyd95]

. The girl I'm dating is into Nascar.

She must be brilliant.

[TAVS]

Watch it Lloyd. *glaring eyes*
Actually I think she's pretty smart. Hell, even the owners of the company we work for are into Nascar.

[carpflounder]

I usually arrange a time to meet and just let her know how my day is going. I dont talk 1+hours.......I'm not in some fake (internet or phone sex relationship). If I want to talk to her about important stuff or just heart to heart I do the traditional face to face.. everyday....but hey maybe I'm just weird.

Afterall, why be in the presence of your significant other when you could just talk on the phone?


Do it Debunkt's way...I'm sure you'll feel really close to her.