needed advice

[Manju IT]

sorry I don't understand .. did u say that he won't feel my love wen he has friends??..

actually he always blames me for whatever fight we get.. if he gets angry for some reason and if I ask y ur getting angry he vl say that it is all because of me only.. even now he says it is all my fault.. I may make mistakes but how it could be all my mistakes Alone...

because of some fights v said v can breakup and within 2 days both of us vl cry and unite..

and actually it is difficult to not to contact him because v r of same class and he now a days talking with other girls asking doubt with other girls though I m near..that makes me feel anger ..it makes me feel sad..wat to do for that??????

and I have a doubt whether I can be friend with him at least ??

help me to get all answers that I want pls

[pcmaster]

If he always blamed you. Thats the sign he didnt loved you.
When I love the girl I always take all the blame myself.

I mean he wont feel so lonely if he have friends. He still will miss you if he dont get lucky with other girls. If so he will realise how good you was.

Yeah its dificult but you shouldnt stop your life. Keep living and socializing. It will help feel better if you talk with other boys.

[Manju IT]

thanx for ur advice pcmaster

can I be friend with him ?? will that affect my state of mind??

[pcmaster]

You can be friends and it would be easier for you to move on maybe but would take longer to forget. If he dont wanna talk or not nice to you then you cant be friends. Basicaly you need other friends. He can be only one of few friends but not your only friend.
Keeping contact might really make you think about him and make you think if he still havd feelings for you.
If threres any drama or anything bad then you should stop being friends immediatly

[Manju IT]

thanx again..

since he is near to me all the time I could not stop myself from seeing him or hearing his voice..

I don't know wat to do.. I could not stop myself from thinking about him wen he is near..

I m not talking to him but I could not stop from hearing his voice ..I really don't know wat to do.. only thing I can do now is to cry

help me pls

wenever I think that I should move away from him I think of him a lot.. I feel so sad and I could not resist myself from crying even in class..

[Hooo!]

stop being complicated
start being simple

you have friends for a reason. Trust in them.
You both have jealousy issues. Those come from not knowing (emotionally knowing) what the other person feels. Meaning if you both would absolutely believe in your love for each other then there is no reason to be angry just because a member of the different sex is talking to your partner ( i mean like WTF?)

His side of the story would be entirely different i suspect. It would probably go like this: I have had this relationship with said girl. Clever, sexy and even in my class. But she gets angry at me all the time when im just friendly talking to a girl and then i found out she chats with all the boys the whole time. Shes just lying to me all that time and i can trust her anymore and im so angry about it all. It hurts so much and i totally cut her out of my life.

And the reason for all that drama is, that you dont talk on various serious levels about your relationship.
If you are honest about everything then there is no need to hide anything. If one or both of you then cant handle the other just being friendly to someone then perhaps you are too immature to lead a lasting relationship.

[Manju IT]

thanx for ur reply

really I m not angry on u.. and ur right may be his part of story would be as u told..

actually I was a great chatter box in my class and after v started loving I became the most silent girl in my class.. I did everytjing that I could do to b happy in our relation ..

wen all my efforts gone it pains a lot

[pcmaster]

Just wanted to say when you want to be friends with ex you have to agree on it. I ussualy suggest to be friends over breaking up conversation. But ussualy being friends dont work. Its just a words - Lets stay friends. Something people say out of kindness.

[Manju IT]

thanks pcmaster

actually he said that v can be friends and next day I told that v can talk less in phone .. hearing this he said that u don't like to talk then v no need to talk like that..I just said v can talk less in phone.. for that he hurted me saying so..I understood from that that he s not interested in being friend..

he is now nothing to me in his point of view..

say me whether I made any mistakes ..I don't know wat wrong I made..pls point put my mistakes

[pcmaster]

Thats how it normaly goes in these "friendships" At least for me. So I stopped trying to be friends. Despite that I would like to.

How long do you think it would take to heal for you Manju and become ready for a new relationship and new love?

[Manju IT]

I vl not love again pcmaster..

for a new relation I.e.husband and wife relation.. it depends on my family .. whom my family chooses vl be my new relation

[pcmaster]

You will love. First love can be the strongest but later you learn to fall in love less and it makes it more enjoyable.

[Iunderstand]

I would contact one of my better female friends and say I haven't spoken with you for a long time but I really need your help. What do you think I should do? You need to get back into a situation where you meet new people. This person would toss you aside like moldy bread because he got upset with you, you should be thankful you didn't waste more years on this unappreciative Pig.
So self-pity perhaps leads to being a little lazy and not getting out there to meet somebody that would appreciate you. You should honor yourself and live yourself. Realize you deserve somebody that you can care about and that will care about you just as much if not more. And that person's out there. Call what are the people you considered a good friend and ask for their help and advice period that gets the process started and get back out there and find the right guy instead of just a guy.

[Manju IT]

I don't think I vl fall in love anymore but thanx I may fall in love someday..

- - - Updated - - -

really thanx..

i think I should do it soon..

he said the reason like I left my friends for him but I dint leave them whole heartedly.. I was always pointing out and saying ..I don't know wat mistake I made ..can anyone make me understands wat wrong I did

[Hooo!]

bullshit.
you gave up who you were. you gave up your chattiness and everything trying to do everything in order to please a relationship
and forgetting to let go and enjoy it. Forgot to set boundaries and to reevalute your relationship

and now one of your relationship hasnt worked out you put up walls sourrunding your so you may never love again?
Fool.
You are not hurting the world with your walls.
You are building your own prison. The only person you will hurt with that is yourself.

You should have learned to love the world and give it all you have and are instead of imprisoning yourself.
good luck.