Club Team Effort Suggestions

[GrkScorp]

I do not want or desire male attention at the club, although I get it and it's expected but not welcome.

That's a good attempt.. The entire post really.. and maybe that really is the case for you..

But the argument falls apart on one vital point.. What do you "wear" when you go out clubbing..

See.. maybe your clothes-to-skin ratio is around 8:2.. let's say you actually wear pants or a long skirt and comfortable shoes.. let's say when you're dressing up, you're not thinking "that looks good/cute".. but instead thinking "this is comfortable to go out dancing in".. that's fine.. but once you start crossing the line of 6:4.. you're not there to dance.. don't kid yourself..

Also, notice something interesting about your post.. the idea you have of yourself as the prize.. Painting this picture for yourself where all you're doing is going out to dance, but have these guys come after you, and you will "reject" them.. and that they need to kid themselves to cope with rejection.. (this is classic female-ego)

News-Flash.. this is how guys cope with rejection: "She rejected me".. in fact, it's easier to cope this way than to make some bullsh*t excuse/rationalization.. the effort alone in trying to manipulate the reality of the situation would be more painful.. it's just easier to accept what's happened.. "She rejected me".. AFTER that's been accepted.. there are a couple of "why" questions thrown in.. "I came on too fast, that thing I said wasn't really that funny, yeah, that was a pretty boring story, fcuk, oh well, at least I know for next time".. but in clubs, it's easy.. she has two reasons to "reject".. (1) the music is too loud, you don't know eachother, you can't talk, she's already comming in with the mindset that guys are here to pick me up "which is true, which is why I don't prefer clubs".. (2) She's there to get male attention, validate her ego, and deny the whole thing to herself by convincing herself and trying to convince others that she's just there to dance.. (That sounds like a guy saying.. "No, I wasn't looking at her breasts, I was just noticing how her pink bra really brings out the color of her eyes")

I know from your previous posts, that you're not the type of girl who goes to clubs, gets dressed (down), just to get male attention, and ego-validation from "rejecting" guys.. I know that Blue.. Also, the pictures in the gallery help aswell.. But let's not kid ourselves in an effort to try and defend female-kind here.. Go into a popular club, find me girls without ("fcuk me" boots/heals, tight low-cut jeans, thongs on display, super-mini-skirts, tight shirts ending just below the breasts, push-up bras, and accessories to light her up like a Christmas tree)..

The argument is, "just going out to dance and have fun, not going out for male attention"

- But..., I haven't taken any formal dance classes
- But..., I will spend over an hour to get ready
- But..., I am more concerned about what looks good as opposed to what's comfortable & practical to dance in
- But..., I would much rather go to a crowded place to dance in than a less crowded place to dance (perhaps a dance studio or dance classes, excluding classical dance)
- But..., I don't know what it is, but there's something about going to a place where there are guys, and dancing, that makes it more fun, and it's not the same, not as fun, to go dancing in a less crowded place to just dance
- So i'm not really going out to "just dance".. that's really a means to an end.. and the end is the "fun".. which is heavily dependent on the amount of male attention I get.. So this whole time.. I thought.. but I was really.. oh my..



I'm not about to start making a cheap argument and throwing in emotional mumbo-jumbo like some users.. Maybe go so low as to call these women cheap/immature/childish/classless/etc.. and to call you mature/wise/classy/etc.. but that's a cheap effort to try and manipulate you emotionally through contrast.. And it's also not needed, because the logic and reality of the situation is all set out

I'm also not saying that you fit into that category.. My friend Maria always calls me out to "just go dance".. even though I can't dance, nor can she.. and when she's done getting/giving numbers, she gets an other urge to "just go get a drink" (because the club's alcohol is somehow different from the alcohol they serve at Gidney's, with the cute bartender she likes).. when I sh*t-called her on it, her excuse/rationalization of it was "it's not the same, it's loud here, there are so many people, I just don't want to be in the same place when i'm calling it a night, I just want to relax and go somewhere else".. Eventually, through more sh*t-calling, she quickly realized that she was full of it.. first, she would admit it to herself.., once I saw that, I backed off, gave her the space she needed, and she eventually came clean, laughed about it, and told me why she "really" wanted to "just go get a drink" at Gidney's..

[GrkScorp]

Well, my favorite music to dance to is hip hop/R&B. How many places do you know play this kind of music, strictly for dancing to?

Many.. dance studios exclusive to hip-hop/R&B.. the downfall is that they're filled with, strangely enough, asian guys who act black..

[GrkScorp]

As for the revenue argument, I agree with Vash that men are the primary source of revenue. Think about it. They pay higher cover, they drink more, and they usually spend money buying drinks for their intended female target(s).

It's amazing how flattered women get by desperate/loser guys.. that's like a guy getting flattered because an ugly/fat chick just made a pass at him..

Sad actually.. more sad than guys who buy drinks for women at clubs.. why? Do you know her? Do you think it's getting you anywhere? Are you falling for the "it's the polite thing to do"? (ask a woman to buy you a drink, and see how fast her double-standards let her morals & manners fly out the window) Do you feel you need to buy her a drink for her to stay there talking to you? Just give her your money.. it's more useful to her, plus she's not getting drunk with some stranger she doesn't even know..

It's so frustrating to watch guys do this.. and i'm convinced these guys are idiots.. because George was telling me how he offered to get a girl a drink.. and she told him "no thanks".. she "rejected" his drink.. and he kept going on and on about what a b*tch she was for doing that, and how rude it was of her to reject such a simple offer..

"First of all George, let's ignore the fact that you're an idiot to even offer a drink right off the bat to someone you don't even know.. there's subcommunication in that nice/polite/civil/well-mannered gesture of yours which communicates loser/desperate/creepy/wants to get me drunk.. Now, I know you're a nice guy and that's not at all what you want to do.. I know it's just an urge to be polite & nice, because you think it's what you have to do to start talking to someone.. But think about it this way.. Normally, any other girl would just take your drink, either get up and walk away, drink it quickly and go away, or actually lead you on the whole night, letting you get her and maybe even her friends free drinks on you, and then walk away.. Now, with $9 a drink, George, tell me.. do you think what this girl did was rude? Who do you think the real b*tch is? What that girl did was perhaps the most classy, lady-like thing you can ask for.. She was direct, and saved you money by communicating to you.. "I'm not interested in you, I don't want to waste your money, so no thank you".. that's it.. let it be a lesson to not go with the "can I buy you a drink" route again"

[bluesummer]

That's a good attempt.. The entire post really.. and maybe that really is the case for you..

But the argument falls apart on one vital point.. What do you "wear" when you go out clubbing..

I wear jeans, and probably some sort of nice short sleeved shirt because A) it gets hot in there, and B) I'm not going to go out dressed like total shit just to scare people off. I wear shoes that are comfortable to dance in. And I'm not big into baring flesh anyways...I don't like looking like trash.

Also, notice something interesting about your post.. the idea you have of yourself as the prize.. Painting this picture for yourself where all you're doing is going out to dance, but have these guys come after you, and you will "reject" them.. and that they need to kid themselves to cope with rejection.. (this is classic female-ego)

Look, I can't help that I get hit on. I don't like it. It's a pain in the ass, and I don't really find it as flattering as I find it 'a situation I have to deal with'. It's not ego, it's my reality. I'm not 'rejecting' them because I get off on it, I'm doing it because I don't want their attention in the first place. Seriously. Maybe THEY view ME as some sort of 'prize' as you put it.....but that's THEIR problem.

[bluesummer]

But let's not kid ourselves in an effort to try and defend female-kind here.. Go into a popular club, find me girls without ("fcuk me" boots/heals, tight low-cut jeans, thongs on display, super-mini-skirts, tight shirts ending just below the breasts, push-up bras, and accessories to light her up like a Christmas tree)..

There are a few....they just USUALLY don't get the same attention because the guys are busy ogling the ho-bag in the four inch stilettos and skirt that looks like you could wear it as a belt.

As for the dance classes thing....I've done that, and it's cool. But if I want to go out with my girls on a casual level, dance and have some drinks, I STILL don't think I should have to deal with assholes fondling me on the dancefloor. It's about respect. I realize women these days don't have much of it, but apparently neither do men.

[GrkScorp]

Look, I can't help that I get hit on. I don't like it. It's a pain in the ass, and I don't really find it as flattering as I find it 'a situation I have to deal with'. It's not ego, it's my reality. I'm not 'rejecting' them because I get off on it, I'm doing it because I don't want their attention in the first place. Seriously. Maybe THEY view ME as some sort of 'prize' as you put it.....but that's THEIR problem.

lol.. alright Blue.. again.. don't forget who the regulars are.. so yes, it's quite uncomfortable to be hit on by these types of guys..

[DoesntMatter]

Where did you people learn to dance

[bluesummer]

I'm just sticking up for the other girls like me out there.

I should open a bar that's just for people who aren't looking to hook up. If I see anyone dressed like a $5 hooker, dancing dirty, making out, or exchanging numbers, they get bounced. Lol.

[DoesntMatter]

My cousin used to be a bouncer at a nightclub in Buffalo called Utopia. He said about once a week a fight would break out that would spill out into the street and keep going until the police showed up. Sounded like he had a good time

[GrkScorp]

As for the dance classes thing....I've done that, and it's cool. But if I want to go out with my girls on a casual level, dance and have some drinks, I STILL don't think I should have to deal with assholes fondling me on the dancefloor. It's about respect. I realize women these days don't have much of it, but apparently neither do men.

In NYC, there are "dance club/lounges".. and each night, they have different music.. I know for instance, that in this place called Metro.. Monday is Argentinian Tango night.. Tuesdays & Thursdays is Trance/Techno/House/Euro night.. Friday & Saturday is hip-hop/R&B.. I have no idea what Sunday or Wednesday is..

But they have tables to sit down in.. nobody is standing because if the place doesn't have room, they won't let you in, you must be seated.. You can go to the bar if you want.. but there's always space on the dancefloor to go dance.. and they usually have professional dancers on each night..

Different crowd, different dynamic..

[GrkScorp]

I'm just sticking up for the other girls like me out there.

I get it.. but the only other girl I know like you Blue, is my friend Rebecca, but she's not strait.. so it doesn't really count..

[bluesummer]

Hey wait. Are you insinuating that I'm gay?

I can assure you, I like dick very much.

[vashti]

I usually get cleaned up to go to a club, but one time I went with a group of girls right after horseback riding, muddy boots and all.

In the end, we all know that women really dress for other women. Men will hit on anyone, regardless of what they are wearing, but women? They KNOW about your clothes.

[bluesummer]

I

In the end, we all know that women really dress for other women. Men will hit on anyone, regardless of what they are wearing, but women? They KNOW about your clothes.

+1

This is sooooo true. Lol.

[Mish]

Well, my favorite music to dance to is hip hop/R&B. How many places do you know play this kind of music, strictly for dancing to? If there's an alternate venue I'm not aware of (besides concerts - and I DO go to those too), I sure wish someone would tell me, because I'd personally rather not go to a club.

Yes there are plenty venues which are specifically aimed for dancing of any style of music including (and especially) hip hop and R&B. They are venues which are sponsored by dance class studios and their affiliates. They are the places where the students go to practice their moves, the intention is solely for dance entertainement, routines and moves experimentation. I know because I'm a member of some of these venues. Look them up, you'll find many.

These are just a drop in the ocean, there are also social dance clubs, festivals, fiestas, night time social parties, places where intoxication and grubby men aren't the primary source of revenue, the list goes on and on.

As for the revenue argument, I agree with Vash that men are the primary source of revenue. Think about it. They pay higher cover, they drink more, and they usually spend money buying drinks for their intended female target(s).

Vash said exactly the same thing I said. Men are one of the main sources of revenue in clubs. What attracts them to these places? Women Women are the primary source of attraction to these places for them. Anyone who doesn't like this fact, please avoid the clubs.