how to get to the dating stage?

[TheGreek]

she just sent me this message through facebook:

"hey (insert my name here), how are you? It was fun meeting up last thursday! If you still want to explore the (insert place here) this week, anytime before thursday is good for me, my schedule is pretty flexible until then. Let me know :-) "

I take this as a good thing...

Sounds good bro. Give her a call and figure out when you want to take her out.

[savoysuit]

well I'm gonna reply by facebook, since it's a direct response to the private message she sent.

[lovesjoyajm]

well I'm gonna reply by facebook, since it's a direct response to the private message she sent.

I hate facebook.

Facebook is relationship-o-cide.

Call her.

[savoysuit]

well this'll be it for facebook after this.. if it goes further. since you know, we're not officially dating yet....

[savoysuit]

so I saw her again this evening... we wandered through a building full of art galleries. Afterwords I suggested we get something to eat, and she suggested a place she likes best. The conversation was generally good... a few awkward pauses, but not too many. The unfortunate thing is that when asked by the waitress if she wanted to split the bill or pay together she said split it... I said I'd get it, but it was too late (it was the type where you have to go up the cash to pay, so I didn't want to push it, or it would have looked odd.) I payed my share and at least the tip anyway. I still don't know if she's interested... I think she may be. I'm unsure about the chemistry... I think there's something there though. Anyway, I ended it with a hug again, she may have been expecting a kiss on the cheek... I don't know, but it was a bad place to do anything... sitting on the metro surrounded by people. I was trying to think of some event or something to ask her out to again (and in fact there is something tomorrow... but she has to study, and anyway it's too soon), but I couldn't think of anything so I said hopefully I'll see you soon... I don't remember what she said. I need another meetup to know everything for sure. Now I just have to find a reason and a way to ask her out to a non-art related thing (since that was a mutual interest and certainly at least part of the reason we met up in the first place).

[Alexappleton]

Yes,It is the right time to say her that I love you.If you have no confidence then you can take advice from your collegiate.They are very much experienced on that and they are giving the good tips on the right time....

Thank You

[savoysuit]

ummm... I'm not saying "I love you" to her. You nuts?

so I went out with her tonight. We went to eat first, then went to a movie (Slumdog Millionaire... really good!). I made sure that I payed for everything this time... she was very nice about it, and thanked me.

Anyway, so when it came time to part (via subway... she was going one way, I the other) we just kinda stood there talking... I was getting some signs that she might want a kiss... or at the very least was thinking that I might try. You know, the fiddling with hair, scarf, anything on her... the fidgeting... almost constant eye contact, etc... so as we heard her subway car coming I gave her a hug, a kiss on each cheek, told her 'and one more for good measure' and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. It wasn't a long passionate kiss (it had to be quick, as she had to go... anyway it was the first time we weren't surrounded by lots of people).

If nothing else this evening made it clear what my intentions are. We're both the shyer type methinks (well I know I am anyway), so making moves is kinda awkward sometimes. I'm kinda glad the holidays are here, as it gives us both time to reflect... I'd like to continue to see her, hopefully she will feel similar. If she does, I'll try to get her to open up a bit more next time I see her... I don't feel like we've had anything even remotely resembling a deep conversation yet... she's not the easiest to talk to... I usually have to bring up the subjects. I'm hoping that's just nerves on her part, and as she gets more comfortable that that part will be easier. She has flashes of brilliance in that department, anyway.

so there ya go. I needed to write that out.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh, good job, Savoy! You give me hope for your generation.

And yes, it would be nuts to confess to love at this point. Glad you've got your head on straight about this.

I don't have any advice to add, just enjoying reading about your success.

[savoysuit]

thanks lol!

I really hope it was a success. With this girl more than some others, I want it to work... she's the only girl I noticed while I was her TA. I even remember the first time she talked to me/asked me a question. odd. I don't remember that for anyone else in the class.

[carl1222]

well then to get you off the fence, here's the situation:

I was her TA last year... I'm a grad student, and she was a first year student. HOWEVER, after having her added to facebook I discovered that she's actually OLDER than I am (2 years older... she's 25, I'm 23). So in this case, there's no real issue with me hitting on a younger student from a position of former authority.

I would never approach a current student of mine (although I wish I could sometimes)... I would never approach anyone under the age of 21 (just too immature).

Good for you, Savoy ... sounds like you have it going on. Best of luck to you.

Carl.

[TheGreek]

Sounds like you're definitely headed in the right direction.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous

[savoysuit]

so I msg'ed her wishing her a merry chistmas and got a msg back pretty quick saying the same thing... I kinda miss her actually. I wish I didn't have to wait another week and half to possibly see her... the next time I actually speak (over phone or in person) will be pivotal methinks... since this is the first time she now surely knows what my interest in her is... hopefully she'll feel the same.

[savoysuit]

update: so I msg'ed her a New Years picture (something VERY relevant to both of us)... but sadly she didn't get it (memory low on her phone).
anyway, I've been away for the holidays, but got back friday... I sent her a msg friday night (through the net, phone not working nicely)... Among other things I said I wanted to see her again sooner rather than later, and asked if she was free sometime after Wed (I'm busy till then).

So I got a response (TODAY... far too long, imo). She took a while to answer because apparently she's been going crazy trying to organize her schedule for work and also for school. she mentioned a few other things as well.

her last line was this: "I don’t really know if I’ll be able to this week, as it's a bit hard for me to make projections right now, but I’ll let you know when things settle down a bit.

Happy New Year!
(insert name)"


dammit. I HATE things left out in the open to waffle around like this... but then that's just my nature, to organize things. Anyway, I'm gonna let her be for this week... if I don't hear from her (and I'm not counting on it), I'll phone/contact her next week... see what's up. If that isn't good then I'll know she isn't interested at all I guess.

[TheGreek]

I don't really have any advice to give you. But best of luck to you buddy and thanks for keeping us posted.

[IndiReloaded]

Anyway, I'm gonna let her be for this week... if I don't hear from her (and I'm not counting on it), I'll phone/contact her next week... see what's up. If that isn't good then I'll know she isn't interested at all I guess.

You got great instincts Savoy. Sounds about right to me, good luck. Hope she calls you first!